The dark colored spots on the entry rug caught my eye when I opened the back door. I first wondered if Kevin, my constant canine companion, had gotten into a discarded carton of blueberries in the trash, which he had never done. With a sinking feeling as Kevin came limping and whining toward me, I quickly realized that the droplets were blood. Behind him, destruction was everywhere, including an overturned living room lamp and broken and askew front window blinds. What in the world? I stepped into the kitchen to get a wet paper towel for his bleeding paw and saw that items had been knocked off ..read more

For weeks I’ve been in a battle with nature, and a part of me is ashamed to report that I’ve won. When I moved in the fall I was delighted to see that my new home has its share of redbirds, which are particularly meaningful visitors. I’ve courted more by installing their favored feeder, and every morning I tromp outside regardless of rain, bitter cold, or even deep snow and refill it with their preferred black oil sunflower seeds. I was especially pleased when a female redbird began exploring the front porch and hoped that she’d build a nest. I thought one of the four high corners would be per ..read more

When the question is about a preference between mountains or the ocean, mountains are my immediate choice every time. I loved the Smoky Mountains when I first saw them as a child, and I’ve spent countless pleasant hours in the mountains of Western North Carolina. The first time I saw the mountains of Colorado, I realized there was a kind entirely different than the more gentle versions in the South – those with a harsher, more majestic beauty. Mountains have been especially important to me as a metaphor for life’s challenges, which have felt many and arduous for much of my life. Mountains equa ..read more

The missing item wasn’t important – nothing critical or sentimental, just a simple household tool that I found useful. The important thing about it was that it was lost, and I thought I was losing my mind (or at least my memory) as I searched thoroughly for it, to no avail. When I became responsible for my household plants after I started to live alone, I relearned something of which I was fairly sure: I’m not nearly as good at tending them as their former caregiver. I’m terrific with cut flowers, but house plants? Not so much, as I’m prone to over- or under-watering. (To be fair, how often an ..read more

The project that had consumed most of a full week had been arduous, but not unpleasant, which was a pleasant surprise. I had hoped that cleaning out my office for the use of Bethesda Workshops’ succession leader would be an experience more benign than emotionally painful, yet my default is to expect the worst. How nice to find that decision fatigue was the hardest challenge as, one by one, I reviewed nearly 30 years’ worth of accumulated books, records, and files. I set myself up for success by visually creating what I cognitively knew should happen: I labeled multiple folding tables with sign ..read more

The question has become a joke around Bethesda Workshops: “You mean THE MARNIE FERREE is going to be there?” I always find it ridiculous that I – the person who just picked up trash along the road in front of our building, or moved tables and chairs for the next group, or washed blankets that were used for comfort as much as for warmth, or did whatever simple and mundane task that was needed – would be viewed as THE MARNIE FERREE. I may fit that perception in terms of accumulating some accomplishments (what a grace!); AND (as we say at Bethesda), I’m equally the vulnerable, wounded, anxious on ..read more

The wife in the coupleship who serve as Bethesda Workshops’ alumni directors, Shane Oakley, is an avid birdwatcher. She has the apps and binoculars, a great backyard full of birds, and the interest and patience to spend quiet hours watching and listening. As much as I like the idea, I’ve never been captured by the hobby. Nevertheless, I definitely have a very special connection to birds, just in an atypical way. A few years ago I became very interested in hawks, specifically the red tail hawks that appear on the tall church steeple across from my house. During several challenging years, a hawk ..read more

Note: This blog was originally published a few years ago, yet my thoughts have returned to it often recently. I’m recycling it for this January offering in hopes it also resonates with you in this season. I’ve been thinking a lot about being well, which is a deeper experience than getting well, which of course, is the first step. Being well is the long haul of ongoing choices, attitudes, and lifestyle. It pulses with heart and spirit; growth and grit; joy, and yes, sorrow, also. Being well is living wholeheartedly, as Brené Brown describes. Being well is the older and wiser twin sister of the ..read more

The call came on a Thursday afternoon in late May while I was teaching a clinical training: a nurse reporting the results from a screening test done a couple of weeks before by a dermatologist (of all things) “as an abundance of caution to rule-out a rare form of cancer” based on my symptom of facial flushing. Dispassionately, the nurse told me, “Your screening number is very, very high, which the doctor notes is an indication that you likely have carcinoid. Her instruction is for you to make an appointment right away with your primary care physician for follow-up; this isn’t something our off ..read more

Be assured that Facebook has some great postings that aren’t tied to what you just searched on Google. One of these is a creative, beautifully written, and thought-provoking page called Mr. St. Francis.  The writer, Kevin Roberts, shares about his conversations with and the wisdom received at the feet of a crumbling concrete statue of St. Francis that resides in Kevin’s backyard. A recent post recounted a question that Mr. St. Francis asked Kevin: “What would you do if you knew you would fail?” Kevin thought the wording was a mistake, but the “concrete Catholic” answered, “No, no, listen ..read more