I just feel so alone and insane with this experience and I am looking for support. I was seeing this guy for about six months, that typical cliche of I thought it would be something more when it was just a convenient situationship to him. The first few month were amazing but then something changed and I felt he got the ick from me. I pressured him for commitment, he said we should stop seeing each other but then spoke to me a few days later just to have access to me. I kept seeing him even though he was breadcrumbing me. I ended up unfollowing him. We saw each other for the last time and that ..read more

Guys - I can’t figure this BPD shit out I’m in therapy, I’m medicated….i still feel like I’m ruining everything around me. I’ve had two people recently tell me it’s better off if I’m not around them. People very very very close to me. I’ve done workbooks, online classes, I’m actively in therapy (both talk and EMDR)…nothing is fucking working. I turn to being manipulative to avoid being abandoned. I can’t figure it out and I can’t do it anymore. I deeply hate myself. I feel like an absolute failure in life. I’m trying to hard and it’s never enough. submitted by /u/FadedGoodGirl [visit reddit ..read more

I'm so tired lately I dunno even know if I'm for sure BPD. (my therapist and I believe so tho.) My OCD is pushing this to the forefront, my last 5 months of my life has been non stop issues, friends s*cide and my SH issues starting for the first time in my life, off work from my job in insurance which gave me confidence. I just want answers ? I looked at my journal from when I was 16 (I'm almost 27M now) and I was talking then about how lost I was. I'm just sick of being numb, sick of being lost in my head, and no blessed person in hell noticing how much pain I'm dealing with. I resent it all ..read more

hey all, so I am diagnosed with BPD and I have been struggling with doing nothing for a while now. What I mean by that is I spend so much time (hours) literally just doing nothing. I cant remember what happens during that time, I just know I'm out of touch with my body and I cant access certain parts of me and I just mindlessly scroll on my phone or computer. Literally not even engaging in what I'm viewing, just something to make time go by fast. I'm not even unmotivated. I know I have school work to do and I really want to, but I also almost don't care. I want to care, but I just don't . I d ..read more

The stigma is rotating around my head. It doesn’t help that I have heavy negative feelings towards myself… I feel like I am everything people don’t want. Self-pitying, stuck on the past, moody, unintentionally manipulative, angry… I don’t feel like the kindhearted souls I used to be. I have too much empathy and it doesn’t manifest well anymore. I opened up about my bpd diagnosis to a few people and my instant thought was just “it’s a matter of time before they decide they can’t put up with a person with a PD” because let’s be honest. People get drained by us. They can only take so much before ..read more

hello, so i have bpd along with other mental illnesses that make just existing in general a really exhausting experience. i've always isolated myself due to being childhood trauma and being bullied to the point where i'm almost always alone and i don't know how to make friends. i don't know how to put myself out there due to fear of being bullied or fear of being abandoned. is there anything you think that could help? submitted by /u/endangered_angel [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

my dad just shared a folder of pictures of me growing up and i can’t stop crying. you can see exactly when things started going wrong and my spark faded. there are hundreds of photos of me as a little kid smiling and laughing. i loved life. i had friends and was so happy to be alive that little girl doesn’t even feel like me. i tried to say sorry to her but was so disconnected it took me a minute to realize i’m just saying sorry to myself. i’m so upset i couldn’t save her for the past year and a half i’ve woken up every day wishing i didn’t. i’m too much for everyone and it’s all i ever think ..read more

I have this thing - whenever i feel like someone is going to leave me, for whatever reason, i make sure that i cut them off first. even if they weren’t going to leave me and it was all in my head, i would rather be the one to leave, instea of them leaving me and me getting hurt more. does anyone else have this? submitted by /u/Latina_kween [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

Me and this girl were talking and really hit it off and I felt that connection I only get with a handful of people. She lives mean on read for a day or so and then I instantly panic trying to figure out what I did wrong and what I need to do to keep her from leaving. She was just busy, but by then I did what I think had to be done in order to keep her from leaving. I wrote this whole apology for something that I thought I did wrong. Her being a normal person was shocked and put off by it. She told me that it was okay and that she thinks that I need a friend, but I knew that I blew it again. N ..read more

That's something that sticks with me sometimes when the unaliving thoughts come around. It has stopped me a few times simply for how cruel it'd be to leave them in that way. What reminds you of your pets when you're in a stressful moment? What brings you back to reality? submitted by /u/Beginning-Tackle-182 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more