This is an edited transcript from the event I did for work colleagues. I have been working in this organisation and its predecessors for quite some time. This is important because it sort of steps the context of what happened. When I lost my sons in 2011, I was working in a very different role. I was working in an operational team. It was all very exciting, expecting twins. My boss had twins, and he was very excited for us, telling me about all the funny things his twins did so I start creating stories for what my twins would be like. And then we didn’t have twins. Our first-born sons were sti ..read more

It’s #BabyLossAwarenessWeek, a few thoughts as we start the week.  This will be a difficult time for many of those that have lost their babies. There will be stories. Lots of stories. Horrible, heart rending stories. These stories are not told to make people feel uncomfortable or for pity or even god forbid, clout.  These are not easy stories to hear. They are also not easy stories to tell. Each retelling risks retraumatising by reliving harrowing times. These stories serve a different purpose. For those in the club they never asked to join, they can be a comfort of sorts b ..read more

One day I will crack this and find the best solution for my scrappy approach to scrapbooking links and resources, but I know people need something when they find my site so I have put together a collection of links, resources, and articles on one page for now. As ever, please let me know if there are any topics I should add. Pregnancy and baby loss support organisations and sites Our Sam – Baby Loss Charity and Support Services Directory How to stop pregnancy ads following you after a loss Targeted advertising and how to stop it Baby Loss in a time of Covid-19 – Support and resources Meaningfu ..read more

I have been doing this for around 6 years now, writing about my experience of losing our twin sons, going over the events, working through every facet of grief, learning and sharing how to support bereaved parents like us. Over time I have tried to move away from the more personal aspects and focus on the workplace element. That’s what I do at work, what I do in my LinkedIn articles, in the events I do, I try to make it about other people rather than myself. It’s still there though. I remember a discussion with one of my comrades in grief sharing our first experiences of exploring online suppo ..read more

The reaction to terrible news of baby loss at the beginning of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and ahead of Baby Loss Awareness Week in the UK shows why awareness events like this matter. These events aren’t for bereaved parents, they are for the people who haven’t gone through it to help them understand why photos of these moments are so important. For so many of us, it will be the only thing we have. Such a traumatic experience has a level of unreality to it, pictures help ground that sense. “Promoting awareness of pregnancy and infant loss not only increases the likelihood that g ..read more

Losing a baby is hard no matter what the circumstances, and the impact of covid-19 has made handling this loss all the harder by reducing access to the levels of maternity and bereavement care we had worked so hard to improve. It can be hard to find support and this is why there are sites like Baby Loss Alliance page collecting resources on support during this time. Many charities and organisations have changed what services they can deliver, some have suspended services, others have increased the use of remote options. I’ve been working with the Baby Loss Alliance to bring these materials tog ..read more

Finding my way to #FindingOurWay I woke at 3am with a mix of anticipation and dread.  I’ve spoken many, many times on stillbirth and pregnancy loss but not of my sons, not directly.  In blogs, yes but in events I’d always preferred to stick to the higher levels and themes rather than the specifics. As I walked to the station to travel to the Sands conference, my brain fizzed with the many, many possible things to raise all the while conscious I had about half an hour to do it.  I wanted to speak about so many aspects of loss and what is to be done. And I did.  Not necessari ..read more

This was a great event, emotionally harrowing (of course, how could it not be?) and interspersed with moments of hope, fire and shared desire that things can and have to be better. Building on Baby Loss Awareness Week and World Mental Health day the conversations are shifting and National Grief Awareness Week and all its participants will play their part in this. Being open to speak, knowing where support is available, joining the dots between bereavement, mental health provision and suicide prevention. In most of the conversations I had today suicide featured in some way. There were too famil ..read more

It’s been a very trying few weeks even before getting to #BabyLossAwarenessWeek but with a timely intervention I got back into the work that needed to be done. Together we have achieved a lot. There is still much to be done and some things to think about as we pass this week and it starts to fade from public memory. I’m still speaking to bereaved parents that are struggling to find the psychological support they need. One mother did manage to get counselling after an 18 week wait. The counselling was held in the antenatal ward. I’m heartened to see some media coverage (thanks to the Independen ..read more

I’ve seen a lot of flack directed at awareness weeks. I can see they are problematic and can be viewed as a cheap way of acknowledging an issue without addressing the root causes / issues underpinning them. Particularly around mental health there is a justifiable anger about focus on certain more ‘acceptable’ forms over others and the gaping void between intent and outcome of ‘talk to someone’. Awareness weeks are a chance for people with lived experience to come forward, talk about it and encourage others to either talk of their own if ready or seek support. Support comes in many forms and ma ..read more