Join us as we math it out, suss it out, and legitimately incorporate the phrase “Tequila Shots” into a sports discussion. Pottymouth’s roster has an abundance of Ellys and a teaching  moment  about  catching home runs in a full beer.  Her recent history is dotted with Dodgers Hernandi, one for heroics, one for the dangers of being mic’d up while at work. Patti’s team has a pitcher getting booed in Yankee Stadium for all the right reasons, and a late roster add coming through big. Bfs past and once and forever show up with the slams. We roll Mental Health Month on into June ..read more

Josh Gibson finally gets his due as greatest hitter of all time, now let’s name the award after him. Stats from the Negro Leagues are finally integrated into the MLB stats and we see how opportunity affects counting stats vs rate stats. Winn and Volpe snap some streaks and in one case we end up with a DiMaggio sandwich. We lose more bfs to the IL –  Grissom is back out, Means and Wells are season-ending out. Patti is grateful Yoshinobu is holding his own and her closer is back. Joey Gallo is in line for dad power now that the secret is out. Although we cannot endorse flinging gloves into ..read more

We share important life lessons from the wide world of baseball, including, keep your popcorn close, watch the rebound, and tipping the bullpen cart driver is good karma. Patti risks killing streaks by bringing up CLE wins and Volpe hits. Former NCiB boyfriends give Pottymouth a chance to talk about her favorite play, stealing home. LaMonte Wade, Jr takes the upcoming Rickwood Field game honoring the Negro Leagues as a chance to talk representation right now. Are the Birmingham Southern Panthers the new America’s team? They will be competing in the College World Series representing a school th ..read more

In which we pin down math around catching foul balls, our medical thoughts of pregnancy vs belly button rings (congrats to Cole Tucker and Vanessa Hudgens BTW), and our astute observation that betting with an illegal bookie is illegal whether it’s on baseball or not. It’s in the name. Elly continues to exceed expectations, Vaughn does not but maybe if he eats a sandwich things will kick in. Alan Rickman and Adley Rutchsman combine for Patti’s favorite homerun call. We learn that it doesn’t matter if it’s just rosin and sweat, it just can’t be on the glove. Sorry, Ronel. Jenny Cavnar and Julia ..read more

It’s the Cinco de Mayo episode where the limes are organic and the salt is Kosher. Pottymouth’s Vaughn Grissom watch is rewarded, Luis lights it up, and Maysin makes her roster. For Patti, John Means business and Jack Suwinski can sure time a hit. Josés are in trouble and just when you think he can’t achieve any more firsts, Judge gets ejected. Did you see that Luis Arráez trade coming? We sure did not. The Police  Blotter teaches us the difference between Community Labor and Community Service, and maybe the MLBPA should have enlisted the moms sooner to get the unis fixed. We share a mino ..read more

Kenley Jansen and Craig Kimbrel are climbing to the top of the all time saves list so the takeaway is don’t yeet the ball from the last out. Looking at you, Colton “more cowbell” Cowser. Andrew hits homer #300, Adley hits grand slam #1, and Josh hits his head. On purpose. Neto can’t get a day off, Oswaldo can but Pottymouth says please don’t – or maybe yes?  Elly remains good at baseball, and Patrick is finally off  the IL. Patti loves the collaborative “people’s celly” of the BAL hydration station – because there’s no “I” in Team. Pottymouth considers a Booser jersey, and a game day ..read more

Our first visit to OPACY this season was an anticipated debut, a miracle of (not)rain, and a much heralded yet underwhelming Jackson vs Jackson smackdown. And lots of attention to the number seven. Elly has us considering a road trip to CIN, and Vaughn makes us think Worcester is nice this time of year. Zach has six runs to his credit in only one game, but the wrong direction. Spencer is down for the count but now we know more about internal braces, so there’s that. Brianna Wakefield’s knuckleball is our favorite pitch of the week. Julio Urias is buried in misdemeanors of  his own making ..read more

We workshop the LMB acronym to account for the Mexican League signing players of questionable character. We aren’t just yanking Verdugo’s chain, we are teaching you valuable vocabulary in multiple languages. We review your four options when you catch a home run ball during a game, starting with It Belongs To You. A little over a week in and our guys with slow starts are getting the bats in gear. We’ve got home runs bouncing off gloves and walls, we’ve got new nicknames (Turn and Burn O’Hearn!), and platelet infusions. Elly impresses off the field too, conducting his first press conference all ..read more

Welcome to Season 8 of No Crying in Baseball! Join us as we laugh, fight, make (probably) terrible predictions, and drink beer from the North (and the northeast). Pottymouth is team Jeff, and Patti is team Rhys and everything gets back to Dustin and Manny. We talk Opening Day – Did Patti write the talking points for the new Os ownership? She’s definitely shopping for a Maryland Tough Baltimore Strong tee shirt. Tyler is Pottymouth’s new best friend and she is feeling good about her Oswaldo and Chourio picks and already lamenting Royce. A’s fans did what A’s fans do best. We love that the TEX W ..read more

As we head to Opening Day, we bring you our fantasy lineups, walk you through the whole Ohtani kerfuffle, and Optimist Patti enjoys her new nickname. Blake Snell finds a team at last, while Francisco Lindor and Edwin Diaz make a video showing their love for Puerto Rico. Optimist Patti makes a pro/con list for Peter Angelos. There are no winners. Our Police Blotter, in addition to a primer on MLB gambling rules for players and staff, highlights TB’s (not Tampa Bay’s) alternate Spring Training, and either a “Breach of Etiquette” or “dick move,” you pick. Pottymouth considers fake phone numbers a ..read more