#274: Defensiveness is a protective mechanism embedded in our evolutionary history that we can be grateful for, but it can also be painful to you and those you’re in relationship with. What can you do to step out of this deeply ingrained habit?   Tune in this week to learn where defensiveness stems from and how to cultivate patience and compassion towards yourself and others when it shows up. I’m showing you the connection between defensiveness and self-esteem, why thought work often isn’t enough to stop this habit, and my favorite remedies for reducing the impulsivity of your defens ..read more

#273: How often do you find yourself mired in stories filled with past regrets? Thinking about "what could have been" may feel constructive, but on the podcast this week, I'm exploring why these thought patterns don't serve you the way you think they do.   Tune in this week to learn why regret doesn’t change a darn thing, and how living in regret is a form of self-abandonment. You’ll hear how staying stuck in regret doesn’t save you from old patterns, what becomes possible when you ditch regret for good, and most importantly, my four-step remedy for beginning to heal regret.    ..read more

#272: If you find yourself exhausted from overextending yourself, stuck in relationships that feel one-sided, or even helping others in an attempt to ease your own discomfort, it might be time to rethink how you express compassion. This week, I'm offering a new lens through which to examine your actions, which I like to call "misguided compassion."    Tune in to learn how misguided compassion can highlight our tendencies in emotional outsourcing, but also offer us the opportunity to find balance. You'll learn some common signs you may be engaging in misguided compassion and my favori ..read more

#271: If you relate to my definition of emotional outsourcing tendencies, the thought of giving yourself true rest likely hasn’t crossed your mind in a hot minute. But have you ever wondered what it would be like to just call it and decide you’re not going to push through when your internal world is screaming for a break?   Tune in this week to hear the importance of befriending rest and the alternative to pushing through when your brain and body say no. I’m sharing a list of questions you can use to check in with yourself when you hear that internal nudge, and my favorite tools to borrow ..read more

#270: In a world where codependence and independence are posited as the only two options for how we can show up, you’re not alone if you feel a sense of tension in either way of being. Interdependence offers a healthy middle ground to these extremes, but what does interdependence actually look like, and how do we practice it?    Tune in to this episode to learn the differences between codependent relating and interdependence, and why interdependence in relationships feels so much better. I’m showing you what interdependence really looks like, both in relationship with yourself and ot ..read more

#269: There are a lot of things in the world right now that we could tell worried stories around, and our nervous systems jump to worry because they’re here to protect us. But the truth is, worry never accomplishes anything. Taking action, on the other hand, does.   If you want to get out of the habit of worrying and release your nervous system from this uncomfortable feeling, then today’s episode is for you. Tune in for a replay of one of our most valuable episodes where you’ll learn why worrying is always optional and I help you recognize where being stuck in the habit of worrying ..read more

#268: If you’ve been doing thought work for a while and have noticed yourself ruminating, or your thoughts moving into the land of self-criticism, you’re not alone. I've been there and so have many of my clients. Today, I want to offer a gentle reminder about the power of reconnecting to our physical bodies in our self development work.    In this episode, I’m sharing the reasons why our connection with our bodies’ deep intelligence is crucial as we learn to reclaim our presence and regulate our nervous systems. You’ll learn how to rebuild your somatic connection by honoring your bio ..read more

#267: Whether you find yourself moving through the world chronically offended, or know someone who does, taking things personally is super exhausting. Feeling criticized hurts, it keeps us out of presence, and it sows discord in all of our relationships. So why then do we do it? And how can we step out of this habit?   Join me this week to hear why you might be in the habit of taking things personally and how to stop. I’m showing you why taking things personally is a common survival tool for emotional outsourcers, how we unwittingly create drama when we take things personally, and remedie ..read more

#265: Something I hear quite often from folks is that while they feel really solid in their independence when they’re alone, their emotional outsourcing tendencies seem to suddenly get amplified as soon as they're in relationship, especially romantic relationship. Why does this happen?   Join me this week as I explore the crossfire between our independence and our almost desperate need to connect with and please others. I'll share some of the psychological factors at play that lead to a heightened sense of codependence and people-pleasing inside relationships and my favorite remedies ..read more

#263: We can’t end this month of love without touching on one of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves: platonic love. This week, I’m introducing you to several of my closest friends –  Suneye, Jules, and Juana – and we're exploring why our friendships are the perfect playground to practice healthy relating.    Join us as we discuss why you should consider who you’re keeping in your circles, the power of treating your friends like your most beloved family, and how to release the story that it’s hard to make friends as an adult.   Get full show notes and more information ..read more