The Mustache
Manda's Musings
by manda75
4y ago
Middle age is the strangest age I have ever been in. It can be fun, painful, and somewhat insane. You have possibly had children so your body is beginning to sag. You can’t see without two pair of glasses. You pee. You pee a lot. In fact, you limit your liquid intake by 7 p.m. so you don’t have to pee at 2:30 a.m. You begin to say things like “thanks for the blinker, moron”, “that is too spicy”, “that needs salt”, and “why is the bathroom in the BACK of the store”. You grow hair. Like hair that shouldn’t be there. Occasionally I get a long nose hair, so I drag out my reading ..read more
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Splashing Puddles
Manda's Musings
by manda75
4y ago
I remember being young and Ma being so worried about us getting struck by lightening that she wouldn’t allow us to go play in the rain. So, now I’m a grown woman who looks at the rain with longing. Playing in the rain frees the inner child I hold inside. Being a grown up is a lot of responsibility but you have to remember to have some fun at times (just avoid the lightening)! So the other day at work I walked a block or so to get a sandwich for lunch. It’s cold outside. It’s grey and rainy. There are puddles that have gathered because of the rain and I calmly walked and picked my wa ..read more
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Pain Makes Strong Walls
Manda's Musings
by manda75
4y ago
I understand now. Anxiety and depression have always been a bit of a bear for me but now I understand why. It is because when I am suffering and finally build the courage to talk to the one I love about it, it seems like it means nothing to them. If you ask a depressed or anxious person to share with you why they are feeling that way they may not have an answer at that moment. Sometimes it may take days for them to find the courage and words to express their pain to you. For someone who is already feeling weak this is a monumental task. The enormity of it loads more anxiety on their ..read more
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Filling Dad’s Boots
Manda's Musings
by manda75
4y ago
As a child I remember putting on my Dad’s boots and clomping around the house or going out to gather eggs or some such chore. They were large and heavy and made me clumsier than normal. I was able to get the job done but it was harder than wearing my own shoes. It made my legs sore and rubbed blisters on my feet. I was trying to fill a void that I was not equipped to fill. Yancey, Nannie, Emily and I were deer hunting the other day. I had on tennis shoes because I don’t have a pair of hunting boots anymore. My feet were freezing even with three pairs of socks. Yancey had the idea ..read more
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Steak Thursday
Manda's Musings
by manda75
4y ago
Nearly every night of the week we have a few extra mouths at the house. Some time ago my husband started Steak Thursday. The basic premise is that everyone buys their own steak and brings it to the house for seasoning and cooking. We normally take care of the sides. This has come to be such a normal thing for us that when the kids aren’t over Yancey and I have no idea what to do. We just kind of sit around looking at one another until someone happens by. We have been implementing a sort of supper schedule lately. Of course, there is Taco Tuesday. I mean, who doesn’t do this at this ..read more
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Getting On The Same Page
Manda's Musings
by manda75
4y ago
Lately, Yancey and I have been discussing some things about our future. We both have sturdy constitutions and can pretty much do anything we need to survive. He is maintenance for a large gun manufacturer so he is very hands on with anything that needs fixed or built. I’m a secretary basically. I know how to type and take money. Well, I can do a bit more than that but I’m soft and I know it. Thank goodness I was raised with the knowledge and skills to handle life even if I may be a bit rusty. Remembering it will take a bit of time, but I will get there with some patience and guidance fro ..read more
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Sick, Moody and He Is Not Helping
Manda's Musings
by manda75
4y ago
Setting: I’ve been sick for a minute… like since Thanksgiving. It has gotten better but now it has gotten bad again. I’m coughing, my throat is sore, sneezing until my head feels like it will explode, and the mouth ulcers are killing me. I don’t know if you have ever had any but they are an eleven on the pain scale. It’s almost as bad a stubbing your toe on the bed frame. My health is suffering so it makes my mind suffer too. (Plus, I read Garden of Shadows by V. C. Andrews and it’s a dark book.) Today has been an excruciating day. It has been long and gray outside. Did I mention ..read more
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Uncle Johnny and Fried Egg Sandwiches
Manda's Musings
by manda75
4y ago
There are certain people in this world that are always smiling. The ones that their life may be crumbling but they continue on with a laugh and smile for you. They are hard working and lovable. Unforgettable. My Uncle Johnny was that man for our family. We lost him to a massive heart attack this past Friday and he will be laid to rest Tuesday. I’m not here to talk about the sadness the entire family and all who knew him feels, but rather how to remember and honor him. I remember two things about my Uncle Johnny. He loved to eat and he could shake down an entire house with his “jump ..read more
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Concert Catastrophy
Manda's Musings
by manda75
4y ago
How long does abuse residue last? I have read numerous articles on how your brain reacts after abuse or how to heal from trauma. My trauma is not near what other women have experienced so I’m speaking from a middle ground. I’ve never been sent to the hospital or escaped to a battered women’s shelter. I have had hands on me and mentally abused to the point that I felt I was worthless for years. Those feelings rear their ugly head often and strongly. It is like an anxiety waterfall. All the blood rushes from my face, my hair stands on end and tingles, my lungs struggle for air, and my extremitie ..read more
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Death is not a Participation Sport
Manda's Musings
by manda75
4y ago
I’m sitting here trying to figure out some things because I’m angry… There is a storm in my heart and mind that is ready to come in like a tornado and rip a huge path through our lives. I’m watching people die and kill every good thing they touch in the mean time. I’ve never had a drug problem so it is difficult to understand when someone does but I see the effects of it on families daily so I’m speaking from that side. Numerous family members have been caught in the clutches of drugs so I have a basic understanding and I’m not without pity. I’m not talking about marijuana, but r ..read more
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