People often ask: Are yoga and meditation religious practices? Personally, I view and experience both as secular disciplines that promote introspection. Spirituality in itself can be completely detached from religious doctrines or the supernatural, focusing on humanistic qualities such as love, compassion and concern for others. The physical aspect of yoga (asana) is a celebration of the human body and its potential. In this respect, the practice is almost incompatible with religions, which are traditionally body-phobic. The Bible, for instance, speaks of the ..read more

As we gradually come out of lockdown in this country, many of us are wondering what life will look like once the whole planet has emerged from the pandemic. Will it revert to what it was before Covid? Or have the events of the past year left too deep a scar in all of our psyches for everything to go back to the ‘old normal’? Historians predict a dramatic rise in group leisure activities, such as live music and sports events, as this is what happened in the 1920s when societies emerged from the 1918 flu pandemic and WW1. But these are the 2020s, and the world we live in is drastically different ..read more

Not many of us like to talk, or even think, about death. Yet, embracing our mortality can have huge existential benefits. I’ve always known that death is an unpopular topic. The extent of its unpopularity became clear to me a few years ago, when I created my coaching website, and listed the various areas I was comfortable working with, which included ‘bereavement’. When I asked friends and colleagues to take a look and give me some feedback, I was strongly advised to remove the ‘bit about death’. Their argument was that the subject was ‘too morbid’ or just ‘negative’ and it would put potential ..read more

The current global crisis has certainly created new worries and fears, or at least emphasised pre-existing ones. At the same time, it offers an opportunity to re-establish our priorities, i.e. to re-evaluate the importance we give to things based on our authentic needs. This is particularly relevant for goal-oriented individuals who have a tendency to neglect their deeper needs in favour of outward success. People who fall under this personality type, the Achiever of the Enneagram system, can find it difficult to relax and detach fully from work-related matters; and they seem to be a big chunk ..read more

We all want to be happy, but fewer and fewer of us seem to be achieving that goal. For many years, statistics have been telling us that an increasing number of people in wealthy nations are suffering from anxiety and depression. Consumerism works to manipulate us into desiring material things and into believing that these things will make us happy. This, of course, isn’t true: an expensive new car, or even a big new house, can only bring a temporary kind of joy, as we will soon desire more stuff. It’s a never-ending cycle. We think we will only be truly happy when… we earn a certain amount of ..read more

The dream of success seems to be what drives the self-help publishing industry, where every other book that comes out is on how to achieve success! But success can mean vastly different things to different people. What is your definition of success? And can being successful make you happy? Our achievements can bring us satisfaction, but once a goal is reached, we soon start looking for the next one. Having met many high achievers over the years, I’ve come to realise that outward success is no guarantee of inner contentment. In fact, people who experience success, particularly early on in life ..read more

Anger is definitely a toxic emotion. Like fear, it is classified as a high-energy negative emotion, as opposed to low-energy ones, such as sadness or guilt. Yet, is there such a thing as healthy aggression? Fear and excitement produce the same physiological response: a rush of adrenaline that prepares us to defend ourselves or run – fight or flight. Similarly, there is a close physiological correlation between a person in an angry state and one in a state of sexual arousal. As the sex drive is an indispensable component of our survival as a species (we simply wouldn’t be here without it), we ..read more

Choosing a coach can be an important decision, financially and emotionally, and is therefore a little daunting. What are the qualities you need to look out for? How do you know when you’ve found the right person for you? First and foremost, you have to like them: the rapport is key to creating a successful coaching or therapeutic relationship. But if someone doesn’t reveal much about who they are, how are you supposed to know whether you like them? 1) Openness Perhaps by asking a few questions and testing their openness. If they don’t state it on their website, you could ask about their backgr ..read more

What is the difference between coaching and psychotherapy? The cliché that coaching focuses on the present and future while therapy focuses on the past isn’t just a cliché but also a myth, as there are forms of therapy that don’t dwell on the past, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and forms of coaching that allow for deeper self-examination. In a previous article, I described existential coaching as the ultimate grey area between coaching and therapy. This blurred border seems to make not a few people uneasy, as therapists often look down on coaching and, at the same time, feel thr ..read more

It’s flu season again and, like most men, I’m not very good at being sick. I have fairly low pain threshold and tend to feel pathetically sorry for myself when struck by the nasty virus. It really feels as though I’ll never be well again! In the English language, there’s a colloquial term that sums up men’s inability to cope with illness: Personally, I believe I can differentiate the flu from a bad cold. And let’s be fair, the influenza virus can and does kill. So the body knows it is under relatively serious threat. Besides, there are evolutionary factors. For thousands of years men wer ..read more