I thought that the last time I wrote, things were chaotic, but I had no idea that the whirlwind I was immersed in was just the preamble. If head spinning was an olympic event mine would have easily taken gold over the likes of Linda Blair but as I sit here in my little home today, self isolating, social distancing, literally listening to the sound of silence... the hardest part of writing down all that's taken place in the last few weeks is figuring out how to do so whilst keeping this entry as a blog post and not the next novel to rival 'War and Peace'. So, there we were, tickets purchase ..read more

I'm not even sure how to begin this one. To say that I am in the midst of a whirlwind of change and unknowns is an understatement. I am both confident in where I am going as well as at a loss as to exactly where that is. I have an excitement mixed with a calm peace and assurance juxtaposed with feelings of loss and sadness. I know that my MS can wreak havoc on my emotions but this is strangely different. I am at the precipice of something really BIG! Not human big but God BIG! It all started a couple of months ago when I had a nagging sense that I was being pushed or prodded, pulled or poke ..read more

As I was chatting to the Lord this morning a thought came to me. It was like a mini revelation. It shouldn't have been considering the lessons that God has been teaching me about living in the moment but sadly, I am obviously a slow learner. The awakening was this... we are never in limbo! Oddly, this “knowledge” gave me almost a weird feeling of relief. There have been so many times in my life, including life at this very moment, where I feel I am sitting in Limboland. I don't know what my next destination holds but somehow I sense I've been suspended in this place that sits betwe ..read more

Life is unpredictable! I think everyone knows this at some level. But do we really believe it? We say it, we acknowledge it when things in our lives change without notice, but I'm not sure that the majority of us actually live as though we sincerely accept it. I think most of us live lives as though life is fairly “controlled”. We embrace a mindset that, to some degree, counts on what will happen tomorrow, or in the next few hours, or months or perhaps years from now. We make plans, we set goals, we save for future endeavours, we look ahead and assume we have our tomorrows figured out ..read more

I was chatting to my son in law the other morning and he shared with me a story about a guy who, back around 1999, bought a painting at a flea market for $20.00. Once he got the painting home and started looking at it more closely he thought that there was something a bit unusual about it so he took it to some professionals. He was then informed that there was actually another painting underneath the surface of the one he had purchased. They meticulously removed the outer painting and discovered that the original painting underneath had been done by the famous artist Rembrandt! A few ye ..read more

Yesterday was a hard day for me. It brought with it a sadness that I can't begin to describe. Some may not fully understand my emotions. I know that others will. Yesterday I had to say “goodbye” to my pony, Faren. Thankfully it was not a goodbye following the end of his life but it was still a painful goodbye as he left me, my home, my protection, my love and care to begin a new chapter with someone new, in a new place, without me. I have not felt grief like this over loss before. At least not that I can recall. Certainly not since I was 10 and lost my dog Max to some sort of can ..read more

It's funny how we can forget something that happened yesterday but some things end up sticking in our memories for years and years for what seems like no apparent reason. Take a memory I have from back when I was probably 16 years old. My family and I were attending a church that was pretty conservative and legalistic. It was a small church that was only just being established and at the time, met in a school building. I can't tell you much about the church, the people that attended, how many people attended, the name of the church or even who the pastor was. I can't recall anything about ..read more

Lately, as symptoms continue to slowly progress in one way or another, I have been marvelling over my journey with MS thus far. It all started about nine years ago with my finding myself falling over a lot as well as running into walls. My navigational instruments were a bit unpredictable. Then, there was the ever increasing fatigue coupled with interesting pain sensations. Within that year, as I ran from doctor to doctor frantic to figure out what was going on, I developed digestive issues, cognitive malfunctions, vision peculiarities, a change in my gait (I started to walk like a duck ..read more

It's funny how we can get things so wrong when they seemed so right at the time. I remember sitting at a horse clinic with tears running down my face. I found the whole experience extraordinary. It was beautiful. I watched as horses were ridden gently with only leg pressure, turning one's body or the rider using their “energy” and “seat” to move or stop their horses. I saw a picture in my head of me riding my horse with these other ladies each week, the relationships that would be built, the things that might be shared. Then, when I met new friends at the State Equestrian Centre while ..read more

The day has finally arrived. I will share my fun and fantastic journey that led me to having a beautiful Welsh D x Arab pony by the name of Faren, in my life. You've probably at some time, most likely many times, been disappointed to not have things work out the way you thought they would. You didn't get that job, get asked out by that guy, get to the sale in time to wangle that new “whatever” at a discounted price... the list is endless. We have all suffered disappointments. Some feel huge and some are only mild annoyances, but the thoughts of “if only” and “but it was perfect!” al ..read more