I almost always had mixed emotions about the end of the school year and the start of summer vacation. The thought of being able to watch Bozo’s Circus in its entirety every morning, walking to the corner grocery store at least once or twice a week to buy baseball cards and/or candy – and when I was older, taking bike rides whenever I could as a break from helping my disabled father while my mother was at work – was enticing. But I also was looking ahead to late August and returning to the classroom. Let’s just say it didn’t always elicit the same joy as buying a pack of Topps and pulling a Ro ..read more

When Nolan was first diagnosed with autism, the team of professionals who did the diagnosing gave us a copy of a short, written piece called Welcome to Holland. In it, the author, Emily Perl Kingsley, draws a parallel between having a child with a disability and a trip to Italy that ended up unexpectedly being a trip to Holland instead. You don’t get to experience some of the things you had planned on, and the language and culture are not what you had prepared for… Ms. Kingsley goes on to explain that once the shock wears off, you can start to see the beauty in the place you’ve landed. Sure, t ..read more

I want more than anything to give my son, Nolan, what he needs. I want him to be happy and enjoy life. And sometimes, I want to put him in situations that might not bring as much joy as car rides, music, or eating do. There’s an element of Judge Smails telling his grandson, Spaulding, that he’s playing golf and he’s going to like it. But the intent behind having Nolan play two adapted sports – soccer in the fall, wiffleball in the spring – at the high school he attends is to keep him active, help him interact with his peers, and for the two of us to do something together. Nolan and I are a te ..read more

I’ve been told many times that I’m creative. I guess I wouldn’t argue with that, though honestly I feel like (at least for me) it’s less about having ideas and more about not squelching the weird ideas that pop into my brain but instead redirecting or expanding on them. But I honestly don’t know if that’s true for everyone’s creativity. I have to say, though, it’s served us well. Creativity has helped me out of a jam many times… When there’s a problem to solve and the obvious solutions aren’t working, we sometimes have no choice but to get creative. And Nolan gives us plenty of opportunities t ..read more

There’s a part of me who has always believed Cindy and I should automatically know the cause of Nolan’s anger or sadness when it’s obvious something isn’t right in his world. He has Autism and is nonverbal. He’s successfully used what I think is one of the best communication apps on the market on his iPad for years, but it’s essentially useless when he’s in meltdown mode. Those are the moments when mom and dad should be able to step in, analyze the situation, come up with a solution, and deliver a figurative haymaker to whatever is ailing our son – all in less time than it takes to change the ..read more

The picture of me that you see was taken in the fall of 1984. I was a 13-year-old eighth grader who was competing in his second season of cross country for the middle school I attended. I was far from being the fastest runner on the team, but I wasn’t a slowpoke, either. Yeah, I typically was nervous before races. Once the starting gun went off, though, I was confident in my abilities. That certainly wasn’t the case the prior year. I had gone out for cross country in seventh grade because I was too puny to play football. Running seemed like a natural fit for me. I had an abundance of energy ..read more

Maybe it’s because I’ve seen too many episodes of Rugrats, but one of the things I find myself saying frequently is, “A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.” Of course, Tommy Pickles said, “A baby’s gotta do what a baby’s gotta do,” but the sentiment is the same. And honestly, it rings true for parents too. There are plenty of things we do as parents that we wouldn’t necessarily do without the motivation our kids give us. Some of them are entirely ridiculous… Like eating dinner on the bathroom floor while Nolan showers. Before he was born I would never have believed I would do such a thing ..read more

My son, Nolan, has Autism and is nonverbal. He’s had his struggles along the way, but he’s also worked very hard to become the young man of whom I’m very proud. My wife, Cindy, and I know it’s due in large part to all the incredible people he’s had the privilege of crossing paths with over the years. It takes a village, all right. Nolan has worked with some top-notch teachers and paraprofessionals – especially at the high school he attends – and ,the results are noticeable. He’s also been fortunate to work with the same music therapist for the past eight years, and she gets all the credit for ..read more

To: The students of the high school my son, Nolan, attends: I’ve never met most of you, but that’s understandable given that, give or take, there are 900 students there. As far as you who, like Nolan, are sophomores, the last time I saw some of you was when I used to volunteer at the elementary school you attended with my son. You’ve all grown and changed so much. I probably wouldn’t even recognize most of you if we passed each other on the street. April is Autism Acceptance Month, which up until last year was National Autism Awareness Month. I could bore you with facts regarding its history ..read more

I’m very proud of every single thing that my son, Nolan, has accomplished over the years. The fact he’s succeeded despite dealing with the challenges of having Autism and also being nonverbal makes it that much more satisfying. It’s not hyperbole for me to say that some of his triumphs, such as when I get to witness him do something I’ve never seen him do before, are overwhelming. These are the moments I’m glad writing letters and the exorbitant rates tied to long-distance telephone calls have gone the way of the Pony Express, and I can share what happened with family, friends and acquaintanc ..read more