The best part about talking to young kids about race in America – and particularly racism – is just how absurd it sounds to them. I fall into just about every privileged class in America: straight, white, upper middle-class, male. I don’t ever remember talking to my parents about race; at least, not when I was young. I grew up in rural Minnesota, which was about as homogeneous as you’re likely to find in the U.S. For years, I was under the impression that my graduating high school class contained one black student. Then, during my ten-year high school reunion, my wife pointed out that the “bla ..read more

As of this writing, we are halfway through week five of our COVID-19 quarantine. With a four year-old and a 1.5 year-old. It hasn’t been easy, particularly for the resident extroverts (me and the 4 year-old). But here are some things we’ve learned along the way, at least so far. Explaining What’s Going On Our 1.5 year-old seems pretty happy with the current circumstances. Mom and dad are home all the time, and she gets to play with her sister about as much as she wants. It’s tougher with the four year-old. She’s an extrovert like me, and loves being around other people and having an a ..read more

So your toddler is now in her own bed. The big kid bed! In our case it was because she figured out how to escape the crib at a pretty young age. But now she can definitely escape the big kid bed. And, because she can’t tell time (or doesn’t want to), she may come tromping upstairs to wake you up at 5 am. So how do you get to sleep for another hour or two? Enter the OK to Wake Clock: While it may not work for everybody, it sure worked well for us. There are a few different versions out there, but they all work basically the same way. Instead of setting an alarm (hey, if our toddler wants to ..read more

Newborns can basically do three things: eat, sleep, and poop. They’re kind of lame that way. And if your partner is breastfeeding, it means that you probably can’t help much with the feeding part. You can help some with the sleeping, though a lot of times the feeding leads to the sleeping. What’s left? The poop. And changing diapers. And one of the best ways to make the point that this is a partnership and you’re willing to shoulder your share of the load is by changing the first diaper. It’s not that hard. “But wait,” you say, “I’ve never changed a diaper before!” Take a second to think ..read more

If you haven’t been paying much attention to strollers lately (which is probably the case if this is your first kid), the picture you may have in your head of a stroller is one of these guys, sometimes called an “umbrella stroller.” Little wheels, folds up like an umbrella (sometimes whether you want it to or not), would blow away in a strong breeze. You get the picture. While they can come in handy in a pinch, you owe it to yourself to get a decent stroller. For our purposes, “decent stroller” means it can do the following: Carry a “bucket” style carseat while your kid is still in one ..read more

Though it depends on your family and on your community, a newborn’s arrival often means that you’ll be receiving lots of visits from family and friends. This can look like a friend dropping off a freezer meal to help you ease into the first few weeks, or it can involve your mother-in-law demanding to be in the delivery room. As a father, there are a lot of things that you can’t do during the delivery and immediate aftermath. You can’t swap places with your partner or start breastfeeding. But you can manage the comings and goings of family and friends. And you should. The first step in this ..read more

It’s pretty common for a child, particularly a toddler, to have a favorite parent. The parent they want to comfort them if they wake up from a bad dream. Or, maybe on a day-to-day basis, the only parent they will allow to tie their shoes. While it can certainly give you warm fuzzy feelings if you’re the favorite parent, being the favorite isn’t without its pitfalls. You may need to bear the brunt of late-night wakeups. It may be tough to get a minute alone if your kid is awake because they want to be in your lap or by your side. Of course, not being the favorite isn’t always such a grea ..read more

When my wife and I were considering having a second kid, some parents warned that the amount of time and effort raising kids takes doesn’t increase in a linear fashion from one kid to two — having two kids isn’t twice as much work as one. “Great!” I thought. Then they told me it was more than twice as much work. That sounded… not so great. So, are twice the kids more than twice the work? Kinda. The biggest difference is how dividing-and-conquering works. With one kid, one parent can handle kid duties while the other parent does completely unrelated things, like making dinner or reading ..read more

Occasionally, you’ll talk to some friend who had the Sleeping Miracle Baby — the newborn who woke up once a night to feed to start with, and then after a little while, began sleeping through the night. I don’t have any advice for those people, aside from maybe “keep your mouth shut when talking to other new parents.” And let’s be clear: Sleeping Miracle Babies aren’t the norm. “Normal” looks much more like newborns snatching sleep here and there in smaller chunks. A lot of those chunks may be during the day, rather than when you’d like to sleep – at night. So getting babies to sleep can be cri ..read more

The first week home with a new baby can feel really daunting. It reminds me of getting dropped off at college, or the first time you move away from home. You have a lot of build-up, anticipating the baby’s arrival, or visiting different colleges. But then your parents drive away and you’re left in your empty dorm room wondering what to do with yourself. Coming home from the hospital with a newborn is like that, but with a person. Basic Needs The first couple of weeks should be focused on everyone – you, your partner, your baby – getting their basic needs met. That means food, sleep, dry ..read more