We’re social creatures, now this is partly due to evolution. Evolution is definitely out of my knowledge range. However,  I’ve had a theory for some time in my head and I heard a podcast which finally explained my thought perfectly. It fits into an Evolution Theory. There’s a feeling you get when you don’t think someone likes you, not someone unimportant to you, but If you’ve annoyed a friend, upset a coworker. That sort of uneasy anxiety that sits in your stomach. The anxiety I get when I think I’ve upset someone is quite intense and I’m not sure if it’s always my anxiety being intense or ..read more

“You have the perfect figure” she said as I screwed up my nose. I tried politely to smile while dismissing her comment. “I’m tall” I say “I’m just stretched out”.  I feel her eyes on me. “Do you work out everyday?”  And then my head spins…  I definitely don’t, I should… should I say I do… would that make her feel better? Or am I setting unattainable goals? Who works out everyday? If I worked out everyday maybe I would actually be skinny. She’s waiting… ummm…  “No” I reply “Just genetics”  “You’re very lucky” She says  My eyes dart to the ground. I feel every part of me feeli ..read more

The weight of decisions when you have anxiety can be extremely taxing. Not only am I extremely aware of all of the information I do not have in order to make the “perfect” decision, but you should see my reaction if I finally make a decision and then that is no longer is a possibility. Honestly the latter is probably worse. Those in my life have learnt once I’ve made my mind up about something that this is what is happening. The fact that I don’t deal well if I need to make a change post decision probably worsens my ability to make a decision as I need to know it’s definitely going to go t ..read more

It’s the time of year where we like to set goals. So I thought I’d to quickly cover willpower. This idea that relying on willpower by itself to achieve goals is not very sustainable. If you set a goal that is a plan to not do something, that is essentially “I’m not going to give into temptation”, this is asking too much of yourself. Because, yes in this moment you feel like you will have no problem walking away in future, once you’re in a situation it’s much more difficult than that. What is more likely to be the case is you’ll struggle in the situation. On this notion it’s important you b ..read more

There’s something that pushes my thoughts internally when I’m in water and I find it’s where I do most of my life contemplating. I just watched an episode of the bold type, which I’m loving, because I need strong female empowerment in my life. If you don’t like your drama dunked in girl power, it’s not for you. Regardless in this episode one character went travelling, one found love and one got a new job and it captured this thought I have, this drive for not even necessarily happiness.. but that rush, that high. This societal pressure for more, own more, have more, do more. I see this in ..read more

What is the kind thing you’ve done for someone else today? Research shows that if we do something kind for someone else they’re 3 times more likely to reciprocate that behaviour towards someone else. If you drop money into a hat or instrument case, those who saw you are 3 times more likely to mimic your kindness. Be the kindness you want to see in the world. Stop and look around you. Don’t assume that the person driving beside you in the merge lane is an asshole, maybe their running late for something really important, maybe they’re lost, or maybe they are an asshole, but behaving like an ..read more

Sometimes I handle my anxiety with yoga, mindfulness and anxiety soothing techniques.. sometimes I handle it with wine, sarcasm and telling people to fuck off. Settle in for a lot of F bombs. One of the most important things I’ve learnt is my anxiety directly impacts how many fucks I can give. There are only so many things you can put on your plate when you’re dealing with anxiety. The idea of fucks given is to limit the amount of things you’re allowed to put on your plate. Give yourself a hard limit. Five fucks is enough fucks for one day (trust me it is). Once you hit your limit, if somethin ..read more

I’ve been absent as I’ve been particularly stressed. How am I coping? Not particularly well, but I haven’t fallen apart. The reason I haven’t fallen apart is not because I’m resilient or even because I have been using all the techniques in the world. The reason I’m still ok is because of the people I have surrounded myself with. You don’t need to always inwardly cope with anxiety, you can lean outwardly on others. Too many of us stay in relationships, friendships, jobs where the life is literally being sucked out of us. And I find it’s lack of confidence in our ourselves. Spending too much ..read more

Mental health is not about eating clean, living clean and natural alternatives. Sometimes it’s a very large glass of wine or late night full fat refined sugar snack or just finding the right medication dose. And that’s ok! Because what’s important is you’re ok not how you get there. It’s taken me a very long time to realise how detrimental the perception of what “you should do” is on mental health. I find what we think people will think shape so many of our life decisions, there’s definitely points where I’ve reflected on why I’ve done something and it’s because of my inability to have an ..read more

Exposure therapy is the most used form of therapy for anxiety. If you feel yourself getting anxious. DO NOT LEAVE. When I talk about forcing myself to do things I am giving myself exposure therapy. Now when I say if you’re feeling anxious don’t leave, I mean at the height of your anxiety don’t leave. You need to give yourself time you calm down. Even if you go from 10 to a 9. Leaving means your anxiety goes, and this instils to your brain that if I leave the anxiety goes and it’s likely to worsen the situation. If you stay the anxiety will also lessen, because the fact is you can only stay ..read more