Attention Hoi Polloi, please lower your working implements, while being mindful not to damage company property. I’ll wait for those of you who need to punch out on your time-clocks so you can read this article on your 15 minute unpaid break without inefficiently passing on the cost of your leisure time to your employer. Now that everyone is off the clock, I’d like to chime in on politics for a moment. There’s been some talk among the servants in my mansion that a Democratic socialist is currently leading polls for the Democratic nomination for President. Do I have this right? I thought we all ..read more

Your father and I understand that this whole “social and economic justice” thing is important to you, sweetie, but don’t you think it’d be nice if you finally settled down and went to Harvard, and became mayor of a small mid-western college town? Sure, when we were your age we went to sit-ins to end the Vietnam War and protested for civil rights, but that was the 70’s. It’s time for you to grow up and get a real political ideology, one that can make real money for your health insurance provider, like we did. Now we know things like taking PAC money from Kaiser Permanente to push a tired, 90’s ..read more

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RENO, NV – At an event today, Presidential candidate and Vermont senator Bernie Sanders unveiled a new plan to fight President Trump’s ballooning debt, which has gone up to $23.3 trillion dollars since Trump took office. “For too long, social media users have been leaving their caps lock on, making it doubly annoying to read what they wrote since it tends to be in support of President Trump.” Said Sanders. “My plan will implement a 1 cent tax every time every letter of a word is needlessly capitalized.” This immediately drew ire from Fox News whose comments section contains more capitalized ..read more

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