For the last month, I have been dealing with grief and I wish I had an idea of when it was going to get better. On December 15th, my grandma passed away from kidney failure after a battle with blood cancer. It wasn't necessarily unexpected but I would be lying if I said I was doing okay because I'm just....not. While I was fortunate to have some time off to travel back home to Michigan a couple weeks before it happened, I have learned over the years that no amount of time will ever be enough. Aside from my mom, my grandparents have been everything to me. Because I didn't have a relationship w ..read more

For as long as I can remember, I have always had a great memory. I can tell you what my grandpa and I each ate at Taco Bell when I was just three years old. I had an order of nachos and cheese with an orange Slice pop and my grandpa ordered a nachos bell grande with the same beverage (just in case anyone was curious). In first grade, I remember getting sick all over Mrs. McCarty's desk. In second grade, Mrs. Mashue broke her foot in numerous places and had to have surgery so we had a substitute for 8 - 12 weeks. Also in second grade, I got a bad grade on an assignment and when my mom saw it ..read more

I didn't know how to do a multiplication problem. I just learned how to tie my shoes. My favorite book was Danny and the Dinosaur. I was just learning how to tell time. I still had my baby teeth. I was six years old. This past week in therapy, I had been tasked with writing a letter to my abuser and if I'm being honest, I was kind of dreading it. Why? Because I was asked to do this exact exercise back in 2016 when I initially started seeing a therapist and I felt that I didn't get too much out of it so I wasn't sure what to expect this time around. When I started writing the letter though, th ..read more

Where do I belong? What do I have to do in order to feel valued? Do I want to get out of the sports industry and into a different career? If so, what would I even want to do? What would I be good at? What does it feel like to be happy and enjoy life? Is happiness an actual feeling? Or is it a mindset? All of these questions have been coming at me all at once lately and while I realize that there are no magic words or quick fixes, these past 3-4 weeks have been some of the roughest that I have ever gone through. I just feel like I have no idea where my life is going and if I'm being honest, I ..read more

For as long as I can remember, I have always had a great memory. I can tell you what my grandpa and I each ate at Taco Bell when I was just three years old. I had an order of nachos and cheese with an orange Slice pop and my grandpa ordered a nachos bell grande with the same beverage (just in case anyone was curious). In first grade, I remember getting sick all over Mrs. McCarty's desk. In second grade, Mrs. Mashue broke her foot in numerous places and had to have surgery so we had a substitute for 8 - 12 weeks. Also in second grade, I got a bad grade on an assignment and when my mom saw it ..read more

I didn't know how to do a multiplication problem. I just learned how to tie my shoes. My favorite book was Danny and the Dinosaur. I was just learning how to tell time. I still had my baby teeth. I was six years old. This past week in therapy, I had been tasked with writing a letter to my abuser and if I'm being honest, I was kind of dreading it. Why? Because I was asked to do this exact exercise back in 2016 when I initially started seeing a therapist and I felt that I didn't get too much out of it so I wasn't sure what to expect this time around. When I started writing the letter though, th ..read more

Where do I belong? What do I have to do in order to feel valued? Do I want to get out of the sports industry and into a different career? If so, what would I even want to do? What would I be good at? What does it feel like to be happy and enjoy life? Is happiness an actual feeling? Or is it a mindset? All of these questions have been coming at me all at once lately and while I realize that there are no magic words or quick fixes, these past 3-4 weeks have been some of the roughest that I have ever gone through. I just feel like I have no idea where my life is going and if I'm being honest, I ..read more

When I was in the process of losing weight, I always hoped that I wouldn't have to deal with loose skin because I didn't want to go under the knife if I didn't have to but that's a wish I wasn't granted. While some individuals can go through a major weight loss and have everything shrink the way it's supposed to, others aren't as lucky. Unfortunately, I was one of those that was left with a decent amount of loose skin and had a decision to make - was I happy and content in the fact that I lost 83 pounds but had excess skin? Or would I be happier having the loose skin removed? If you have been ..read more

Growing up, I was never known as the skinny girl. I was always chunkier than my friends and when I was with a group of people, I noticed that I was typically the heaviest person. As you can imagine, it made me quite self-conscious. However, I was lucky enough in the fact that throughout my years in school, I had quite a few friends and was never bullied. I was in a number of extra-curricular activities including student council, volleyball, class council, prom committee and Students Against Drunk Driving (SADD). Because of that, I sometimes felt that I was at school more than I was at home but ..read more

It's been three weeks since my upper arm lift and I cannot believe how fast time is flying. I had an appointment with Dr. Robinson last Thursday and he said that everything is looking really good. He removed the surgical tape from both incisions, which was honestly both freeing and terrifying all at the same time because I really didn't know what I was going to see. All of the stitches Dr. Robinson used were dissolvable so I don't have to worry about getting them removed but I'm not going to lie, once I actually saw the incisions, I had a momentary freak out because of how long and puckery (is ..read more