So, you’ve joined a MOPS group and met some amazing mom friends that you look forward to seeing at your meetings every week (or every other week). But now, you’re wondering how to take those friendships to the next level. How can you turn your MOPS friends into your ride-or-die mamas, the women you call on in good times and in bad? Here are a few ideas.  Go first. It’s going to be uncomfortable putting yourself out there, but someone has to do it. So why not you? As Jon Acuff said, “Give others the gift of going second.” Going first means sending out the text to see if anyone would be u ..read more

Finding Support Groups A recent study revealed that 1 in 4 moms have 0 to 1 friend. Mom life can be a rewarding yet challenging and at times, a lonely experience. It is completely normal to need support and guidance while raising kids. Finding support can help mothers feel less alone, overwhelmed, or anxious, and can provide them with the tools and resources they need to navigate the ups and downs of parenting. Support can come in many forms, such as family, friends, parent groups, or local groups. Mom groups, however, can be a great source of support because they provide a sense of community ..read more

We’re one of those couples that rarely fight, but when we do, we could probably charge admission and sell popcorn to the neighbors for the quality of show we put on. We had one of these high-drama, multiple-act performances right before our first child turned 1. Our transition to becoming parents had been such a tsunami of emotion and change, it’s like we were just then able to get enough air (and sleep!) to process how our new roles were changing the way we saw ourselves and one another. I was “going nuclear,” my peak conflict move when I don’t think my husband is giving my words the weight ..read more

  Not everyone is going to like you. It’s OK. (I know it won’t always feel like it’s OK, but I promise it is.) Not everyone is going to invite you. That’s OK too. You’ll never regret kindness. (Never ever.) If you constantly have to tiptoe around them, they’re not your people. You get to choose them, so choose the ones who are choosing you back. Have high standards when it comes to friends, but don’t be unrealistic. They’re going to mess up, and so are you. Grace is essential. Be yourself. Let other people be themselves right back. You can’t have friends if you don’t know how to be a fr ..read more

Last week we stood outside an empty Sunday school classroom waiting for someone to come and unlock the door. Service started at 9:00 a.m. and it was already 10 after. My kids shifted awkwardly side to side as we looked into the dim room to see a few abandoned baby bouncers and low tables with crayon caddies in their middles. I couldn’t help but emphasize my exhale. I was so tired of not feeling welcome, so tired of deciding how I felt about new places. And I’m sure my kids were tired of it too.   It was no one’s fault. Attendance was simply low at churches these days, and volunteer ..read more

My friend was struggling with depression and I wasn’t sure how to help. For several months, life circumstances had sent her mental health into a tailspin. With no foreseeable end in sight. They were justified emotions, all of them. As I prayed for her one morning, asking God to please meet her where she was and comfort her, I couldn’t help but wonder if my prayers were even making a difference. How can I be a better friend? I thought.  I sent her a text before starting my day, just to let her know that I was thinking of her and her family. She didn’t text back. It wasn’t the fi ..read more

  WANTED: Female Friend. Age: Less (as in age-less). Location: Present. Availability: When needed. Skills: Non-judgmental listening ears and voice given to both constructive critique and compliments. Pay: Reciprocity. On the subject of friendship, I’m very clear: I know what I want in a friend. That’s easy. Harder – for me – is being friendable. Approachable. Open to the new. Willing to do the work of investing from scratch. How do I open myself to friendship in such a way that I stay safe and yet risk knowing and being known? Time for some honest self-examination. How badly do I want to ..read more

I am the mama of a miracle. I was at the beginning of my second trimester with our second child when we received a phone call with news that no parent ever wants to hear. The NIPT blood test showed that something was potentially wrong, and we needed to come in for further testing. This testing revealed that our baby had a rare genetic disorder called Monosomy X, better known as Turner syndrome. Almost 99% of babies diagnosed with TS do not survive to birth. Our sweet baby girl, who we had wanted for so many years, had a 1% chance of ever being in our arms. I took this news badly of course. Bu ..read more

I became a MOPS mentor completely by accident. Imagine a mother of college-aged kids (that’s me) crashing a MOPS meeting with the sole purpose of introducing herself to the guest speaker, who happened to be a published author. As I walked into our church foyer, amongst a gaggle of infants in car seats and toddlers holding their mama’s hands, I felt a little out of place. Thankfully, the MOPS leaders who welcomed me didn’t pass judgement. They merely handed me a copy of the author’s book, suggested that I help myself to a hot breakfast (really?) and told me to enjoy the speaker. Mission accomp ..read more

So, you’ve joined a MOPS group and met some amazing mom friends that you look forward to seeing at your meetings every week (or every other week). But now, you’re wondering how to take those friendships to the next level. How can you turn your MOPS friends into your ride-or-die mamas, the women you call on in good times and in bad? Here are a few ideas.  Go first. It’s going to be uncomfortable putting yourself out there, but someone has to do it. So why not you? As Jon Acuff said, “Give others the gift of going second.” Going first means sending out the text to see if anyone would be u ..read more