Love
Dadzooka
by dadzooka
3y ago
My youngest son would like his next birthday cake to be half vanilla and half mint. Of this, he was quite clear. He told me this as we drove to the grocery store to buy eggs yesterday. He was flexible on the presentation however, declaring that his cake could be in the shape of a firetruck or a racecar. His birthday is seven months away… I heard him say this in the way that we parents often hear our children which is a sort of, muted, yeah yeah, put your seat belt on sort of a way but then I saw the magic in his eyes. He was transfixed, enamored and enraptured. It shocked me from my mostly per ..read more
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Deathmaster 500
Dadzooka
by dadzooka
3y ago
Long before the utterance of my middle son’s name struck paralyzing fear into the hearts of his enemies; he was my little boy. He liked trucks and heavy machinery, he wanted to be a spider every year for Halloween and his favorite dinosaur was the Velociraptor. Today is his ninth birthday, marking him halfway to manhood and what feels like a lifetime away from the little boy of yesterday. He has his own taste in music, a sophisticated sense of humor and is known in fortnite, which I just discovered this evening, as Deathmaster 500. Deathmaster 500, or Cayson as we call him, is an amazing young ..read more
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Work
Dadzooka
by dadzooka
3y ago
Today I put my boys to work in the restaurant. They made breadsticks, bussed tables and washed dishes. The eight year old took to it with an enthusiasm that the eleven year old lacked but at the end of the day they had worked like a typical, kitchen crew. They called each other names, raised their voices in anger and dicked off plenty. It kept them off of video games for a few hours and they were able to put a few bucks in their pocket. Another day, another dollar. I was ten years old when I had my first real job. I was hired by a local car dealership to mow weeds in an adjacent lot in the sum ..read more
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Highlights
Dadzooka
by dadzooka
3y ago
I was staring at my feet as I trudged across the crunchy shell of snow that is my children’s, elementary school playground. My thoughts were caught up in a mess of must do’s and can’t do’s and wish I didn’t have to’s. As I neared the spot where my kindergartner lines up for pick up, I saw that he had spotted me first and was running towards me. He held his lunch box in one hand and his backpack in the other as he trotted like he does, in his goofy little way. His arms were out wide as he crashed into me like a tiny wave of adorable and hugged my knees. This moment was the highlight of my day ..read more
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Friends and music
Dadzooka
by dadzooka
3y ago
I have a theory that the first, genuine human friendship was forged over a musical collaboration. I think two cave people were coworkers. They’d just finished a hard day of mammoth hunting and were reaping the rewards of a full belly around a fire beneath a sea of stars. One of them sat, transfixed, staring deep into the fire’s soul. They listened to it crackle while the flames danced and sung their smoke song towards the sky where the other one’s attention was captivated by the twinkling enormity of the universe. A gentle breeze rustled the tree tops around them while a cacophony of nocturnal ..read more
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My America
Dadzooka
by dadzooka
3y ago
I love America. I stand for the national anthem, I believe in the American dream and I think that the declaration of Independence was the single most boss move in history. I love the flag and I support the people’s right to burn it. I love that we are founded upon rebellion and I support our right to do it again if our government ever becomes the tyrannical force that our founding fathers feared it might. I love that we fought for the rights of people who were oppressed for reasons of gender, skin color and sexual orientation. I love that we are still fighting today. I love jazz, and the blues ..read more
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Hello
Dadzooka
by dadzooka
3y ago
I have, in my day delivered a shameful amount of meaningless hellos. The word itself is but a servant to the mechanical function of life within the constraints of the mindless delegation of responsibility. What I mean to say is that hellos are disproportionately easy compared to how goodbyes are so hard and I believe that we are screwing something up by living this way. I had to say goodbye to my dog Sara in November of 2019. I took her into the vet for what I thought was a blatter infection only to discover that she was in fact riddled with cancer. She was unable to pass urine which led to a ..read more
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Cobra Kai
Dadzooka
by dadzooka
3y ago
To be honest, I’m shocked at how little karate I’ve needed so far in my life. The Karate Kid had me convinced that most of my upcoming, teen conflicts would need to be handled with a roundhouse kick or a hammer fist. A lifetime of peaceful, conflict resolution had nearly tamed my wild heart but then came Cobra Kai… I’m training again. Every spare moment, when I’m sure that no one is watching me, I’m full karate mode. Yeah, I could just “put” the eggs back in the fridge but it’s way more bad ass to karate slide them into the fridge with a sort of spinny, kicky punch maneuver out; just in case ..read more
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Monday
Dadzooka
by dadzooka
3y ago
Tonight, in preparation for the first Monday of 2021, we tucked all the kids into bed, promptly at 8 o’clock. They got up for water at 8:10, 8:15 and 8:20. My wife then forgot that they needed to clip their fingernails and that process took 20 minutes. They were back in bed by a quarter to nine when the dogs remembered that their ancestors were wolves and they needed to sprint back and forth throughout the house, high on moonlight and the sounds of their own barks. This reminded the kids that they too are descended from wolves and suddenly, the majority of lifeforms in my house were simply run ..read more
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Drunken scrambled eggs
Dadzooka
by dadzooka
3y ago
I would like to ask you all to please say a prayer for my mom. Also, I would like to tell you about how wonderful she is and that she makes the very best, drunken, scrambled eggs that I have ever tasted. I ask you to say a prayer for my mom because she is in Salt Lake City for an appointment to have surgery, on her birthday of all days. From what I’m told, it’s a fairly routine surgery but an important one and is still surgery. Now, I understand that some of you reading this don’t believe in the power of prayer but I do, so please hear my case for why you should humor me. My mom’s name is Cynd ..read more
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