And thank you, Hoyt Axton, for a great song… “Never Been To Spain” I wonder if one of my medical professional readers might help me out with this one. I went to the “lab” this AM for “blood work” (god, I hate that cliché) and, sitting in my car outside the store, I used the texting/email check-in thingie to let them know I was there and ready to be jabbed, repeatedly if necessary. (Hey, I’m a team-player.) And they sent me back a page that said they were glad to see me, that the needles were all warmed up and ready to go and then asked me if I had eaten in the last 12 hours? Guys, you’re ..read more

Sometime subsequent to my arrival here on the Left Coast of Florida (for those of you who are “limb-recognition challenged”, that would be the same side as the Gulf of Mexico, which by the way could just as easily have been named the Gulf of Florida or the Gulf of Texas or even the Gulf of Waffleirons for all of that…where the hell do the Mexicans get off naming an entire Gulf for themselves? For my money, I think President and The Man Who Kicked the Shit Outta’ Donald Trump in the 2020 Presidential Election Joe Biden should declare war on those jerks down there south of the Rio Grande and ge ..read more

(Editor’s note: Today’s post is dedicated to one of the most adventurous, fun, sexy, strong and slightly askew human beings I’ve ever had the privilege of calling “friend”, a young lady who has my great affection and has earned my respect at her decidedly ripe old age of 24 (I think she’s 24), which by the way is 3.43 in dog years. Thanks, Mags, for brightening all of our lives…the world was denied a beauty when you weren’t born twins.) Okay, I’m done…I just wanted to write that dedication. Just kidding. I recently took a poll among the various officers and crew members of the venerable ship ..read more

(Editor’s note: the following is dedicated to my buddy and fellow sufferer (Publix employees) Julia C., who besides being a major cutie and a good kid is one of my biggest fans, thereby proving conclusively that there is indeed no accounting for taste. This one is for you, young lady. Three years? When is his contract up for renewal?) Last week when I was at the grocery store, laying in a supply of sensible things like celery, whole grain bread and Teriyaki Spam (oh yes there is…Google it) for the week to come, I decided to indulge myself and added a totally decadent and completely unnecessar ..read more

(Editor’s note: Today’s post by our regular (and only) contributor, Cap’n John Krissongs, is meant to be strictly personal and is of no entertainment value whatsoever. (Not the first time that’s ever happened.) For those of you who visit the Welcome Aboard The R U Kidding blog periodically based on the fact that we were named one of the “Top 100 Humor Blogs” on the Internet back in 2019  need read no further…the Cap’n is too bummed today to be the bastion of hilarity that you have come to love and admire. Please accept our apology for any inconvenience this may have caused you.) Now, to ..read more

Please note…Our regular (and only) contributor, Cap’n John Krissongs, is taking the day off for personal reasons. Cap’n John has informed us that he will be taking some time over the next few weeks to consider whether or not to continue his ongoing relationship with the WATRUK blog. Apparently, “the Cap’n” is thinking about hanging it up forever. We wish Cap’n John the best of luck in whatever endeavor he chooses to pursue. And if he quits writing posts for our blog, we hope he gets a bad case of crotch lice. The Editors   ..read more

  My very good friend and frequent partner in crime Robin is a big fan of sloths. The animal, not the sin. Robin and I both work part-time for Publix Super Markets here on the Left Coast of Floriduh, her as a Cashier, said job title being self-explanatory, and myself as a Front Service Clerk, said job title needing clarification due to it being another example of Publix’ rampant corporatese…I’m a  “bagger”. (I’m surprised the geniuses over in Lakeland FL, where the home office is located, haven’t decided to call our cashiers “Electronic Scanning and Payment Clerks” or some such nonse ..read more

On this national holiday of Memorial Day, 2021… In the Revolutionary War, it was:                 -Samuel Prescott, doctor                 -Andrew Sprole, merchant                 -Joseph Bowman, chandler                 -Simeon Wheelock, blacksmith          ..read more

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! For those readers of the Welcome Aboard The R U Kidding blog who are squeamish about and/or uncomfortable with a frank and open discussion about, well, umm, sex, today’s post is all about, umm, sex. And if recent activity is a criteria, than I am frankly not qualified to speak on this matter, not that I intend to let that stop me. I mean, if good taste and common sense aren’t enough to keep me from writing some of the shit that I write, then I see no reason to let forced-upon-me-by-circumstances celibacy be a deterrent either. Please be forewarned. And much like the ..read more

“Testing…testing…(turns away from microphone and speaks to person behind him sotto voce…yeah, and now we’ve got the Dumb and Dumber Roadshow going on with those two morons Greene and Gaetz)…testing, one (turns away again as the PA system lets out a loud squeal of feedback), two, three, ah, ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, I’d like to get started, so if you would, please find your seats, please, if you would, please find your seats, everyone, everyone please, can you please take your seats so we can get going, I have quite a number of items to cover today, please find your seat ..read more