Regular readers of mine will know that I love LOVE to preach the importance of remaining grounded during life’s ups and downs, and of accepting what life has thrown at us with the knowledge that for every loss there’s usually a greater gain, if we’re open and willing to see it. It’s what I do. Well, I’ll admit that the current coronavirus climate has, on days, tested even me. Like a lot of us, I made a conscious decision early on NOT to read the constant doom and gloom news reports, NOT to get caught up in the panic buying hysteria, and to remain mindful at all times whilst scrolling through ..read more

I’m pretty fond of talking about forgiveness. You can see what I’ve previously written on the topic HERE. And this week, I feel urged to write about it again. Maybe it’s Mercury Retrograde, maybe it’s nothing to do with anything, but it seems the last few weeks everywhere I turn I’m seeing or hearing stories on the topic. People struggling to forgive; people doggedly not wanting to forgive. All of which is understandable. When my husband walked out on me and our two teenagers for his very young girlfriend, I was left shocked and shattered. And these feelings soon gave way to ANGER. I was hurt ..read more

I married at an age when most of my peers were still firmly entrenched in the world of cocktails, nightclubs, partying and travel. It was 1998 and I recall feeling blissfully grateful that I’d met my life partner so young because I’d never really been interested in being a young person. I was twenty-two and ready start my grown-up life already. I wanted a husband, a house and a secure job. More than anything I wanted babies. I got all of these things because I made it my absolute life mission to get them. It was only after the birth of my second (and final) child that I was able to relax a li ..read more

When I was a teenager, my family was acquainted with a woman who had been divorced for many years. This woman had a couple of grown-up kids and seemed to be in relatively good health. Now, as a divorced woman with a couple of near grown-up kids myself, it would seem to me that she had the makings of a pretty good life. Good health, grown-up kids, independent lifestyle, no-one to hold her back from doing what she wanted to do. Yet. There was something kinda scary about this lady. She was forever harping on about the unfair hand she’d been dealt. She believed she’d been short-changed in her div ..read more

I was going to begin this article by reminiscing about my very painful, very first Valentine’s Day post-divorce. That is, until the fog in my brain cleared and I remembered that my marriage actually ended on February 23rd 2015 – more than a week after Valentine’s. Yet I still remember the day vividly. It was a sunny, summery Saturday here in Australia and I had never felt as bone crushingly lonely as I did then. My husband had not yet left me but he was on the brink of it. I knew it, even if I didn’t want to believe it. I also knew about the other much younger woman, and my brain was having a ..read more

What do you do when an uncomfortable or painful feeling suddenly hits you? Do you have a coping mechanism of choice – perhaps reach for the wine or your phone (or any other object) to distract and numb from what’s whirling around your head? Do you do your best to banish the feeling fast, because just sitting still and feeling would be akin to torture? As a small girl and teenager I had a LOT of painful feelings. A sensitive only child of divorced parents, the world often seemed like a very scary place. I always felt that my mother didn’t really understand me. Crying and complaining were big n ..read more

‘What you resist will persist…’ If you were to look closely at your life to this point, would you see any patterns? Certain scenarios replaying themselves; a particular type of person causing you chaos; the same situation happening over and over again? I have seen it in myself and I see it now in some of the people in my life. When I was younger I was a magnet for controlling, domineering personalities. A key figure in my life was a narcissist, and as a result I grew up with a somewhat warped view of what I did and did not have to tolerate. I didn’t know that I had any personal power – much l ..read more

Hmmm… when it comes to relationships and breakups there couldn’t be a more common or burning question as this. Can I still be friends with my ex? When we’re in the midst of pain and heartbreak, the thought of NEVER seeing our beloved again can be simply too much to bear – particularly if the decision to end the relationship was not our own. We feel like utter shit and the idea that we can still have a piece – even a small piece – of our person is a comforting one. But here is the thing: this person is no longer our person. And harsh as it may sound, the sooner we give our psyche permission to ..read more

Do you sometimes, or often, find yourself at the mercy of other people’s bad behaviour? Maybe an ex-spouse (or current spouse – let’s not discriminate), a family member, boss or all of the above? Mmmm… I can relate. Before my divorce grew me stronger and forced me to start loving and looking out for myself, I was a virtual slave to the actions, emotions and general all-round bad behaviour of those around me. I didn’t know that I was worth more, or that there was really any other way. It’s something I still struggle with from time to time. Lifetime habits are not always easy to shake and I’ve ..read more

We all know that the pain that follows a major breakup or divorce sucks. AND can probably be multiplied by a very large number if the separation was sudden and/or unexpected. When we’re in the midst of heartache it can truly feel as though our broken parts will never heal, and that we will never feel whole or normal again. Yet healing is a very natural process. We can all heal. Some of us may be stuck in a loop of grief, not knowing how to help ourselves move through and past the pain. We may be unknowingly committed to outdated beliefs and stories – beliefs that are holding us back from crea ..read more