Let’s hear it for the nurses, as they go off to battle. Aren’t they all so brave, let’s hear it for the nurses. Stand outside and clap and cheer. They’re going to fight this virus. Those brave angels, keeping us all safe. Together we can all beat it, we can win, we will go on until we do. Almost, but not quite, we will fight them on the beaches. Normal Nursing But that’s not what we’re doing. Well it’s not what I’m doing. I’m not going into battle, and I’m not fighting anything. I’m caring, I’m offering a safe space, I’m keeping any thoughts of war and fear as far from me as possible as I chat ..read more

I had to make an essential journey yesterday. The first big one I’ve been on since the lock down began, not just the usual pootling around for work. The difference wasn’t really noticeable until I got to the motorway. Instead of queues and hundreds of cars there were a few lorries, nothing else. Signs that normally warn of delays told you to save lives by staying at home, and announced that we should be making essential journeys only. Adverts on electronic billboards were for hand sanitiser. There was a distinct feeling of 1984 about the whole thing. It was anxiety inducing, even for the most ..read more

Today we hold a minute’s silence at 11am. Not for fallen soldiers, not for those we lost in a war, but for our colleagues and friends. For nurses, healthcare workers, doctors, bus drivers, porters, for all those who have died because they carried on as normal in their jobs. Covid 19 has reaped havoc across the world. Some say that perhaps these deaths were preventable, that all these people have been let down, all these families could have been living with their loved ones now, if things had been done differently by those in power. It has changed the way we are living, and the way we are worki ..read more

If you’ve read any of my other posts you’ve probably gathered that I am passionate about palliative and end of life care. There is something about witnessing that time in someone’s life, in their families lives, that is such a privilege. Being present in that private intimate space as goodbyes are said, tears are shed and regrets are considered is a amazing, humbling thing to see. This Christmas Eve I visited someone who was new to our service, not our usual clientele. She was young and had no long term condition. Her diagnosis of pancreatic cancer had come as a huge shock to her and her famil ..read more

It has finally arrived, that manic, overwhelming season that is Christmas. Rushing to make sure that perfect present is ready, ensuring everyone is going to have a magical day, that will live forever in their memory. I have spoken to lots of people about the joy of Christmas, and so many of us love it. We get really excited and can’t wait for December to begin. The amount of Christmas trees that went up in November this year must have been record breaking. The millions of elves on the shelves creating havoc in the night growing every year. I have finally got my tree up today, having been asked ..read more

It is a privileged position that we hold, doing the job we do. I felt it as a breastfeeding counsellor and doula. Now as a nurse doing it every day, I feel it even more strongly. We see you, the real you. We don’t see the parts of you that are public, but the ones you keep hidden from view. The you that we meet is not normally the polished face that you present to the rest of the world. It is the person who is frightened, the person who is in pain, the person who doesn’t know what the future holds, and who needs care, support and reassurance. Lives before A few weeks ago, I went into a house w ..read more

Next week, I start my Master’s in Evidence Based Healthcare. Terrified does not describe it! More change in my life, but I have had so much support from people around me, with lots of comments that describe me as inspirational! This really isn’t something I can see myself, more like awkward, timid and scared shitless. But I appreciate those comments so much, as it means maybe I can actually do this. I am still feeling doubtful and the friend request I had today from the person who runs the Oxford Venture Capitalist Society maybe alerts me to the fact it really isn’t quite my sort of place. Thi ..read more

Language is amazing. The words we use when communicating with someone can make the difference between a positive experience and one that leaves people feeling cold and unheard. Words are important, and need to be chosen carefully to ensure each person you speak to understands what you are saying. However, they are not the main way we communicate with people, tone and body language mean so much more and express what we are thinking even when we are trying to hide it. Having excellent communication skills are important in all walks of life, but when you care for people every day they become esse ..read more

Today, I am spending the day in Oxford. This blog is supposed to be about trying to get my masters, so I thought I should share the adventure I’m having. Here I am, sat in Magdalen College, having tea and cake, and watching people punt up and down the river in beautiful sunshine. I feel so lucky to be here, but I also feel that perhaps I shouldn’t be. It feels lonely, and scary, and fills me with doubt. As we all do, I have those feelings of not being good enough, but today has magnified them, so much so that I’m thinking should I really be doing this?? I have found the place where I have my ..read more

The Value of ME! I’ve decided to buy a new car, not a new new car but one that’s new to me. This has been a mammoth decision, and one I am feeling really emotional about. The emotion is tied not just to how I feel about ‘treating’ myself, but also the journey I have been on with this car. Susan the Seat was bought when I first moved into a house on my own with the children. She has driven me to my first camping trip on my own with the boys, to all our new adventures. She has taken me to the work I needed to do when I was learning how to be my own person again, and trying to earn a living. She ..read more