A Dublin man is wondering if ‘tap to pay” technology has reached “down the country” yet. Tony Breslin will be attending a wedding in Mullingar this Friday and wants to know if he needs to bring loads of cash. “I just tap now when I go out in Dublin but they probably haven’t got that yet down the bleedin’ country. I suppose I could take money out of a cash machine when I get down there but I can’t be sure if they have them either. I wouldn’t say they have.” Tony said another problem with his weekend away is his beloved Liverpool are playing the next day and the game is on Sky Sports. “Obviously ..read more

Taylor Swift has surprised fans worldwide by including a version of Irish rebel song Celtic Symphony on her new album. The American singer, who recently bought a pub in Tullamore and moved in upstairs, is known for her Irish republican views and proudly chants “Ooh Ah Up the Ra” on her version of the song. RTE Radio 1 presenter Joe Duffy was fuming on his show this afternoon, calling on listeners not to buy the album. Within an hour it had become the fastest selling album of all time in Ireland. Taylor Swift often breaks away from her own music during live performances and throws in an Irish r ..read more

Ireland have been made red hot favourites for gold medal success after hurling was added to the list of sports for the Paris Olympics. The GAA have been campaigning for many years to have Gaelic Games included in the Olympics and it seems their hard work has finally paid off. GAA President Paddy Bracken said it’s not only a great day for Ireland, but also for the Olympic Games. “Finally a proper sport, played by proper men in the Olympics. I’ll tell you one thing, you won’t see any spandex wearing ponces with gold earrings on the hurling pitch. Imagine one them them lads getting a good clatter ..read more

Planning permission has been granted for a complete revamp of O’Connor Park in Tullamore, the home of Offaly football. The upgrade will make O’Connor Park the biggest stadium in the country and one of the biggest in the world with a capacity of 120,000. That’s 30,000 more than Wembley Stadium in London and 20,000 more that Barcelona’s Camp Nou. Offaly GAA President Paddy Molloy said he can’t wait to see the finished stadium. “The absolute state of some of the GAA grounds in this country. They’re an embarrassment. But not here. We think big in Offaly. Soon we’ll be the envy of every county in I ..read more

A horse that crossed the finish line first at today’s Grand National was left devastated after being told he did not win the race. Al Capony lost his jockey Johnny McEvoy at the second fence during the big race at Aintree but continued to run the full course, crossing the line a full 50 lengths ahead of I Am Maximus in second place. However, horses that lose their jockeys are immediately disqualified and I Am Maximus was crowned the winner. Al Capony was furious after being told the news and said he was sure he had won. “This is bullshit!” said Al. “Nobody told me anything about having to carr ..read more

Meteorologists have discovered the reason behind the slightly warmer weather Ireland is gradually beginning to see. Professor Charlie Wren from the University of Scientific Stuff said the research was carried out over several years and no expense was spared. “In one particular study we went outside when it was 9°C and it was fairly cold. Then we went outside on another day when the temperature was up to 12°C and it was slightly warmer. “We can therefore say with absolute certainty that slightly warmer weather is due to slightly higher temperatures.” Fascinating. Next week, rain. Why does it ma ..read more

Scottish singing sensation Susan Boyle stunned the entertainment world yesterday when she revealed her incredible new look in an exclusive photo shoot and interview with style magazine Fashion Weekly. The 63-year-old is completely unrecognisable after one of Hollywood’s top plastic surgeons gave her a million dollar makeover. Susan told Fashion Weekly that her incredible transformation has changed her life completely, joking “I won’t be stuck for the ride anymore that’s for sure.” The new image obviously comes with a new attitude too because musically Susan has gone in an entirely different di ..read more

British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has posted a message on social media congratulating Simon Harris on his new job and said he looks forward to working with him soon. Mr Sunak posted “Congratulations Simon Harris on becoming the new Teashop of the Republic of Ireland. Britain has always had a great relationship with Irish Teashops and I’m certain that will continue with Mr Harris, and although we find it both silly and hilarious to call your Prime Minister a Teashop, we’re sure the Irish have their reasons.” Following his election as Taoiseach yesterday, Simon Harris said that he can’t wait to ..read more

American singing sensation Beyonce has revealed that she intends to record a version of Pat Shortt’s Jumbo Breakfast Roll. The queen of hip-hop said she heard the song for the first time just recently and decided there and then she wanted to record her own version. “I heard it on the radio during a recent visit to Ireland and I was blown away. I immediately knew I was listening to a genius at work.” Beyonce explained what attracted her to the song in the first place. “All the great songs have universal appeal. They have the power to speak to everyone who hears them. The guy in this song is hun ..read more

Reports are coming in of widespread carnage and destruction across the midlands after a photo emerged of a tree that has blown over just outside Tullamore. The incident happened in the Springfield area of Cappincur and it is not yet known if any injuries or fatalities occured. Emergency services are at the scene including 4 fire engines and 8 ambulances. A Garda air support helicopter is also hovering over the scene. There are more unconfirmed reports emerging of widespread devastation in many midlands areas. In one heartbreaking incident a woman left a Mullingar hairdressers and began her usu ..read more