My heart is heavy. Countless times I see PTSD caregivers say “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say.” In the PTSD Veteran lifestyle it is not always about doing anything. Sometimes it’s verbal support, affirmation, and communication. The Military is known for don’t ask don’t tell policy. This communication policy also carries over to civilian life. During times where they cannot have access to information, take action, or do anything, they wait. They lean on each other. They talk, they play cards, play tricks on each other, clean, or pick their nose. It’s a sho ..read more

“It can be coins or sports or politics or horses or music or faith… the saddest people I’ve ever met in life are the ones who don’t care deeply about anything at all. Passion and satisfaction go hand in hand, and without them, any happiness is only temporary, because there’s nothing to make it last.”  ― Nicholas Sparks, Dear John The boredom in daily living and the importance of hobbies, or finding passion in life again in something after deployment is something I believe strongly about. Instead of living life with the anxiety and nervous energy, finding passions in activities groun ..read more

The purpose of communicating our boundaries is to show those around us our level of respect for our own needs. As a caregiver we can let pieces go of ourselves a moment at a time. As a Veteran we can dive deeper into the anger and anxiety one interaction at a time. Enforcing the needs you have for yourself is a hard thing to do. In the military, or as a caregiver, our mission is to help those around us. We serve the needs surrounding us. In return, we forget to service our needs as well. While it can feel selfish and counterproductive to who we are, as we begin healthi ..read more

Even on the days where you feel you aren’t making a difference- you are. Casually in conversation I asked the Veteran why he was more comfortable talking with me now. Said, “Because you’ve never given me an ultimatum. You still support me when I feel like walking away from things” The post Lean on You appeared first on The Veteran's Companion - Together We Are Stronger. A blog about living with PTSD ..read more

Every family knows the struggle. Kids need toys. Kids get bored… We buy toys to help keep children entertained..yet it’s not enough. The whining, the crying, the lack of creativity, and push for more challenging activities to keep them engaged is always evolving as they grow. Children yearn for learning and play. A part of the push for learning through play is because it builds synapses in the brain many times faster than learning through traditional means. It allows open ended play – which in turn promotes creativity, problem solving..and more. With our blended family we have fi ..read more

“I fear being alone more than anything else. So why do I do this? Why do I push away the people I love? What is so very wrong with me? I don’t know. And I don’t know how to make it stop.” ― Victoria Aveyard, Glass Sword Thousands of people can relate to being in a relationship of PTSD. Thousands of caregivers have been in the rollarcoaster of emotions. We can all relate to being pushed away. I hear “I don’t understand. He said he wanted this to work last week and now suddenly he is trying to get me to move out. He says he doesn’t want to be a burde ..read more

Taking care of you isn’t optional if we want to make it through a relationship with PTSD. It’s too easy to succumb to the symptoms. It’s too easy to allow our thoughts to rule ourselves. It’s too easy to surrender to our feelings. As a caregiver to those with PTSD we have to make sure we put ourselves as a priority. While serving ourselves can seem selfish, it’s not. Taking care of you is just as important. You are a priority as well. The post Caregiver Tips #1 appeared first on The Veteran's Companion - Together We Are Stronger. A blog about living with PTSD ..read more

Very long post…and very wordy. Stick with me here. Recently I tried to explain the basics of Flashbacks to someone who said they don’t quite understand and felt this applied to more caretakers struggling to understand. While the answer barely touched the topic, it still paints a basic picture. Here I can be more in depth. It’s common to not see traumatic things growing up. Many people enjoy a loving childhood without fear. Without abuse. Without rape, domestic violence…and so on. Those who don’t have an experience to trauma can’t relate emotionally to it. I can respect it, and choose ..read more

I sit at my desk with my thoughts running in several directions. For weeks all I wanted was to soak in the tub. I finally had the chance to do so. There it was…silence. In that time it was apparent to me how often I can just sit in silence and just be. No calls, no children running, no screaming because we just fell off the bed after multiple times of trying to avoid, “Hot Lava”, no family visiting, no people over, no need to cook at the moment…. The dog was laying outside of the door and it was peaceful. Just being can settle the soul Then the mom guilt sets in ..read more

Sex is safe to vets. It’s a comfort. Sexual attention is validation for who they are. My vets using sex likes a security blanket. For him it’s the one time his thoughts are completely free from everything else. He gets the attention he wants in a physically safe way. There’s no battling, no missions, no killing, no exerting oneself in a war zone… Over the years it’s become a habit to womanize to slap a bandaid on his feelings. Although he wants a committed relationship his behavioral patterns have become so engrossed in female attention for safety that he didn’t realize how i ..read more