After a recent conversation on the subject, a friend suggested I share my thoughts on suicide, in part, because it affects so many people, which if they read it, might resonate and realise that however trite it might sound, YOU are not alone! Please, just take the step, and ask for help. Somewhat less altruistically, that maybe in the act of writing down my own thoughts, it would lead to some kind of catharsis for myself, because I have no issue admitting that I’ve had my own problems with these thoughts in the past ..read more

So much can affect your mood. Right now I’m sat in the sun, listening to the birds after getting myself an ice cream and I feel fabulously creative and happy. Only a couple of hours ago I felt mildly depressed and very unmotivated and my change in mood got me thinking about moods in general.   We are pre-programmed to have a negativity bias, that is to say, that is used to be safer for us to think that way. Way back when we needed to be wary of potential predat ..read more

Some of you will have no doubt watched Louis Theroux Mother’s on the Edge. Some of you will have even experienced some form of post natal depression. This is a really important conversation to be having and one we should have been having years ago.   It’s all the more poignant for me since I was one of those mothers who cracked and left my husband and children 15 years ago. The shame and guilt still follows me like a bad smell. My children were 1 and almost 4. I’m sure there are people who will judge me for ..read more

We all have it, in some way or another. Stress about our body image. Some of us admit it, some of us don’t.   There are some really hard conversations to have around this subject. Truth is your body changes day by day, month by month and year by year and sometimes that’s ok. It’s meant to change. Yes, it’s normal to put on a few extra pounds when the weather gets colder – it keeps you warm. If you’re an emotional eater, (which let’s face it most of us are) when you are under stress, feeling bad about yourself, feeling unsupported, lonely, t ..read more

I’ve been teaching meditation for almost 2 years and my personal practice has hit the 5-year mark (10 if you include the times I started and failed to build a habit!). One of the things I come across in my teaching is when people say they’ve tried and failed. Meditating is a hugely personal experience. It can be very difficult to persuade people that they are doing it right. Since it’s essentially sitting and ‘non-doing‘ for a period, it’s less difficult than people realise. The hardest part is letting go and surrendering to the ‘non-doing ..read more

Mindfulness doesn’t solve everything. It doesn’t cure everything. I regularly tell my students this. They should never be tricked into believing that mindfulness will sort all their issues out because it doesn’t. Even when you are an experienced practitioner, there are times when you feel angry, stressed, depressed etc… It’s important to realise that options like counselling should still be available to you and don’t think for one minute that just because you have a regular mindfulness practice you will never need the help of a therapist or ..read more

Something that gets said to me sometimes is “That’s not very mindful” and I think people often mistake mindfulness with perfection.  In reality, it’s quite the opposite. There are so many facets of mindfulness and none of them point to perfection. Personally, I’m kind to myself, I don’t seek perfection. Since perfection is different to each person it’s truly a mirage and unattainable. If I can be 80% mindful and 20% average then I still believe I’m winning. 80-20 rule applies. We all slip up and we all make mistakes and sometimes we lash ou ..read more

A Little Compassion Conundrum For You… A 15-year-old middle-class white girl has been groomed by a cult. She has left her family, seemingly willingly to join these people. This particular cult is known for violent rituals and sexual abuse. At age 19 she manages to escape and tries to reintegrate into society, she returns having had two children by one of the cult leaders. Would you send her back to the cult? Would you tell her she had made her bed and to lie in it? I can’t imagine you would. There would be compassion for her and most import ..read more

“Patience is power” It truly is that. There are so many reasons to practice patience. I believe I’ve always been a fairly patient person and building this into my practice has meant that being a parent is that little bit easier (It’s still hard!). So why is patience such an important part of mindfulness? In my humble opinion, I feel that we spend our lives impatient for the weekend, the next payday, even lunchtime and in doing so we miss the glorious moments that we are in right now.   Why Patience? The reason we consider patience to be an ..read more

Here’s a big one for you this week. Trust. It’s one of the 7 attitudinal foundations of mindfulness and something I believe should be cultivated whether you practice mindfulness or not. The big question here or the big misunderstanding here is do we need to cultivate trust in other people or trust in ourselves. Well let’s simplify this completely. Bring it home. We cultivate trust in ourselves.   Why? Why do we cultivate trust in ourselves? Because whether we like it or not or whether we like to admit it or not, we are the centre of our ow ..read more