No one in your life has to be there. This concept can be challenging for some to comprehend, and cutting some people, such as family, out of your life can seem impossible and extreme. But everyone has had experiences with toxic people—people who are poison to them. These people are not just frustrating or irritating. They are toxic—they poison your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. You may feel that you have a responsibility toward them. In some cases, that's true—but it's essential to examine the context for those responsibilities and explore ways to remove them, partially or enti ..read more

We've all been there. You're going along with your day, and suddenly, someone lashes out. It might be anyone—a friend, coworker, or family member—and it is totally unexpected. You don't understand. You didn't do anything wrong. The person is acting like a child. Your first reaction might be defensiveness—hopping right into the sandbox. You don't realize that your reaction might also be seen as irrational. You try not to react right away. But then you repeat the person's behavior repeatedly in your head and start fuming.  The post Out of the Sandbox—How to Respond to Irrational Behavior ..read more

I just returned from an annual weekend in the woods with my college friends. We do this every year, and this year was our fortieth!! I (obviously) love spending time with those guys, and we know each other as well as friends can. We spend time catching up, "reveling," making chili, and playing cards (pitch). For the duration of the event, we are with each other every moment. There are few people I would be able or willing to spend this much time with all in one go, but these guys are in that category. It is still a challenge, not because of anything they do, but because being with people gen ..read more

A friend and I were having a light conversation this past weekend around a fire pit, and a subject came up on which we disagreed. He and I differ in our opinions that largely follow political leanings. We had never talked about it, but I had heard him say some things that made his politics reasonably clear. When he said something that I disagreed with, my first reaction was, "Oh, shit, there goes the relaxed atmosphere." But then I thought, "Why can't we have an honest disagreement and not make it personal or political?" It is possible, although seemingly less and less achievable these days ..read more

What does luxury mean to you? For many, the idea conjures the trappings of wealth—maybe yachts, private planes, or opulent houses. But are these things luxurious in and of themselves? Once you get beyond these trappings' flashiness and comfort, you must still have a meaningful life to make them enjoyable. And you may find that if you do have a meaningful life, you don't need this brand of luxury. Simple pleasures can be considered luxurious and don't involve the cost, maintenance, or hassle of the more lavish luxuries. What are the luxurious things in your life? Do they give you pleasure, or ..read more

So many people try to find stability in their lives and keep things going as they have been. They like to have a familiar routine, the same friends, and the same activities. There's nothing wrong with this. Long-lasting relationships, routines, and traditions give people a sense of belonging, a feeling of home, and comfort. But it's also essential to have the unfamiliar in your life. I know that doing different things and interacting with new people can provide a healthy jolt to the old psyche. I recently left a very long-term job and now work full-time on Blocks of Life. This experience has ..read more

At the moment, I am making a concerted effort to live a healthier life—less drinking, healthier eating, and consistent exercise. Under "normal" circumstances, I can do that without too much temptation—typical working days, going to bed at a consistent time, and managing my energy. But when there's a celebratory mood, or we have people over, or during a vacation or the holidays, the temptations are much more significant, and the rationalizations are easier.  The post Maintaining Consistency in the Face of Changing Circumstances appeared first on Blocks of Life ..read more

How many friends do you have? Are they all created equal? The levels of connection that you have with people matter. How you behave around them, what you confide in them, and how much you ask of them matters. What you get from them also matters—how they make you feel, your experiences with them, and what you learn from them.  The post Tiers of Ties—The Nature of Our Connections appeared first on Blocks of Life ..read more

Holidays can be rough. Hectic schedules, finding gifts, family drama—it can be overwhelming. Stress is a common side effect of a season that is meant to be happy, celebratory, and fun. But where does that stress come from? It’s different for different people but may include unreasonable expectations, social anxiety, or loneliness. Instead of feeling joy, many end up feeling irritable, sad, or disappointed and can’t wait for it all to be over. But the holidays can be the joyful, exciting, and magical time they’re meant to be with just a few tweaks of your perspective. The post Holiday Hell—Ho ..read more

One of life's most important but most challenging aspects is achieving a state of balance. We are all eventually faced with a broad range of demands, passions, and responsibilities to which we cannot devote sufficient time or energy. We ultimately have to choose those activities that we either need or must spend more time with at the expense of others. You might base this on requirements or perceived requirements. You might disregard your responsibilities and focus on what you love, but regardless, at some point, you will have to choose what you do with your time. The post What’s Important—F ..read more