I was sitting in the garden outside of an Adoration Chapel next to a guy who was mocking, manipulating, pouting, pushing, trying to worm his way past my guard, and throwing a huge pity party for himself because I would not let him kiss me. We had known each other for three months and this was our first date. I had told him he could kiss my cheek, but that did not give him enough pleasure, and pleasure was the reason he came, not me. As often as I had to move his hands, it was obvious a simple kiss would not have satisfied him either. Lust can never be satisfied. Two years later he apologized ..read more

            At daily Mass this week, the homily reminded me of one of my deepest regrets in my past dating.             My then-boyfriend had revealed multiple serious issues and I convinced him to talk to a priest. That part was good. But he briefly followed the priest’s instruction, then stopped and would not talk to him again. My stress over our relationship was at a breaking point, I was emotionally exhausted, and angry with these evils for keeping him away from God. I started c ..read more

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My Beloved, Why are you so sad tonight? What happened? What is it you wish you could go back and change? I understand how you feel. Everyone has something we wish we could undo. I am so sorry you are going through such pain, sadness, and anger. I am angry too, but not with you. I am furious with the evils in this world that hurt you, lied to you, manipulated you, tempted you, and left you without the guidance or love you needed. It doesn’t matter to me if or how much you may have been at fault. Why should it? All I know is I love you, and I hate to see anything hurt you. Are you afraid ..read more

“All he wants to do is sit on the sofa and be chummy!” “Once I let a guy put his arms around me he never wants to do anything else!” “He’s a lot more in love with my body than he is with me.” I hear this from girls repeatedly. Often, I’m the one saying it. I think I offended one boyfriend years ago. He wanted to put his arms around me and I told him I wanted to pull weeds in his backyard. (I know! Poor timing.) We weren’t doing anything “bad,” but there were a lot of good things we weren’t doing either. His behavior was respectful, but his focus was almost entirely on my body. We had ..read more

A few months ago, I walked into a framing store with a large painting of Saint John Paul II, and laid it on the counter. The framer, a kind gentleman in his mid-forties, looked fondly on the image for a few moments, and remarked, “I’m a Catholic boy. Too bad the Church doesn’t want me.” Although it was unspoken, it was obvious he was referring to homosexuality. I asked, “What do you mean the Church doesn’t want you? Of course the Church wants you. God loves you. The Church loves you. This is your home.” He looked happily shocked asked, “What parish do you go to?” We had a pleasant conversation ..read more

“There’s something I need to tell you,” I said to a man on his couch in a Tampa apartment. He—then in his late 20′s and interested in me—nodded, and waited for me to say it. I, then in my early 20′s, breathed in before I did: “I’m saving sex for marriage.” I breathed out while he silently processed what I had said. Then he turned his face toward mine and spoke: “If you want to wait, I’m willing.” But waiting had never been part of his world. He agreed to abstain from sex with me because he knew that if he didn’t, I wouldn’t date him. He agreed to behave as if ..read more

  Do you know what’s funny about dressing modestly? It is the hardest thing to start, yet then becomes impossible to stop. My journey with modesty has happened in stages, prompted by questions that I continued to ask myself. These questions came from an internal battle between wanting to fit in and be seen as attractive on the outside, and wanting to find love and be seen as beautiful for who I am on the inside. One key moment within this journey occurred while lying at a pool sun tanning in my new bikini. I began to simply observe the scene that I was immersed in. Women of all shapes and ..read more

Many men underestimate the impact of their attachment to pornography. I’m not trying to villainize anyone, for I know first-hand the power that pornography can have over one’s life. In fact, most of the men that I know are repulsed by the idea of pornography and are disgusted with themselves for falling to it. But it has contributed to a deeper problem. Pornography Use as a SymptomOften, men have become exposed to pornography early in life. Their use of it predates their relationship with their wife/girlfriend, and is therefore not because of their wife/girlfriend. The shame and ..read more

Before we walk down this minefield, let’s set the record straight: this is also a guyissue, not just one for the ladies (and I’m not referring here to men simply “guarding their eyes”). I for one was completely enslaved to the idolatry of my physique for many years before my conversion. I lived for seeing improvement in the mirror—each night and every morning; in fact, this was why I worked out so hard—even though my supposed reason was football. The Beauty of the Person For John Paul II, the person is a unique entity of inherent dignity and worth; in his famous two-fold dictum, persons are (1 ..read more