Happy New Year! I just had a quick peek as to when I last wrote a blog post – August 2021! How have you been? I’ve been doing ok. MS is relatively behaving itself with just a few fatigue days here and there, but after my 11th year, I feel I am managing life with MS the best way I know how. There have been a few personal matters going on which made me take some time out and to do what I could from the other side of the world. I also had to take some time out, just for me – and it was just what I needed!. Personal aspects in my life are at a steady balance, I feel I am at the best place mentally ..read more

I had lost a bit of inspiration… As my MS has been stable, I have felt lost re my blogging. When I started this blog page, I envisaged myself blogging every week about the ‘ups and downs of life with MS’. Well in a way it did start off like that, and now as MS seems to be behaving itself I’m finding it all a bit, uninspiring. My inner speech is telling me to hold back, casting doubt on this journey… Words that hit home… I remember one Neurologist appointment I had in the early days. I was asking about treatment. I was intrigued by different treatments out there and wanted to try HSCT (Haemat ..read more

I take it you have read my CV? I am so proud of my job history. Did you read my time as a Civil Servant for 12 years? I loved working in various roles during that time. Oh yes, especially my last role. As you have read I was a Personal Assistant for 1.5 years in my last role. It was a full time role and I was so busy and I loved every minute of it! I was good at what I did. Well-organised, methodical, excellent time management, and if work was a little quiet I always found work to do and or helped out other teams. Yes, due to location moves redundancy was offered and I took it up. It was a sha ..read more

I looked at the face in the mirror, and for once I really took notice of the face staring back at me. I stared intensely at that face. It hadn’t really changed all that much. Nothing like the face I have perceived in my mind over the years. Time has of course passed so ageing is inevitable, but the face I see staring back at me, is in fact still me. It may be hard to understand as to what I have been feeling over the years as I thought it was so obvious in my face, when 11 years ago my body decided to turn it’s back on me after 38 years. It decided to attack itself, it began a war within itsel ..read more

I remember being asked this question by the careers adviser when I was at school. Admittedly I wasn’t asked the ‘when you grow up’ part, but specifically ‘What do you want to do when you leave school’?. Excitedly I replied ‘I would love to be an Air Stewardess’. I watched said careers adviser write a few things on her notepad, looked at me and said ‘I think you may be too short. An office job would be suitable for you’. Huh? Right. OK… So, I thought about my career choices all throughout high school. I still wanted to be an air stewardess and was looking into the qualifications needed – huh to ..read more

Like an unfinished jigsaw puzzle I have a few pieces missing. Some days I squish the wrong piece in, willing often wishing. Life is somewhat different now, this life with MS. Unpredictable, some days surprising! – but not one of regret. I see my days as precious and found a new perspective. I hear the birds, I smell the rain. My love for life is endless. The past can’t be erased I can’t predict the future, however there is one key thing I always tend to remember. I have control. I always have. To fit the pieces together. The day will come when I place the last piece, knowing it will fit. It wi ..read more

I’m a reminiscer. I’ve read recently how nostalgia has psychological and physiological benefits, including boosting mood, making us more hopeful… I love talking about my childhood in particular. Being Aussie born and growing up in Australia, I have nothing but fond memories – endless days of swimming, playing cricket and rugby on Richie Benaud Oval with my brothers and friends, riding my bike, hanging out at the local shops playing Space Invaders and Pac-Man, roller skating (badly ), and going to the beach. Manly beach in particular was my favourite. Beautiful memories of Manly, especially the ..read more

ego – meaning in the Cambridge Dictionary:- your idea or opinion of yourself, especially your feeling of your own importance and ability: in psychoanalysis the part of a person’s mind that tries to match the hidden desires (= wishes) of the id (= part of the unconscious mind) with the demands of the real world The first six years of my new life with MS, I listened to my ego mind far longer than I would have wish ..read more

‘Well, some say life will beat you down break your heart, steal your crown So i’ve started out for God knows where I guess I’ll know when I get there And I’m learning to fly But I ain’t got wings Coming down Is the hardest thing’… ‘Learning to Fly’ by Tom Petty, popped into my head when I was encountered with my first ‘you’re lucky’… Right at the very beginning of my MS journey. The most frightening time of my life. The first person who found out I was off work for three months, enduring numerous tests for a MS diagnosis said to me, ‘you’re lucky’ it isn’t cancer or diabetes’. Am I lucky? A ..read more

Where to start! What a crazy, surreal time we have been, and are still going through. I never received an NHS letter to shield during the lockdown. I guess mild asthma and the MS disease modifying drug (DMD) I am on didn’t match the Government’s criteria for the ‘critically vulnerable’ category, so I fell under the ‘moderately vulnerable’ category. I was a little shocked to be honest, but understand we all couldn’t be shielded so it was up to me to make a personal decision. I decided to self isolate and started on 17th March. At the beginning it was a case of ‘ we are so used to this anyway, i ..read more