We have been running a lot of workshops recently and for many the experience is the same. They begin to realise that by using the self coaching techniques we teach them they are beginning to take responsibility for and make choices around their mental health. As they do this they are effectively advising themselves on what their best course of actions is. Often, as they reflect, they realise the advice they are giving themselves is very similar, but not exactly the same, as the advice their family, friends, mentors and helpful colleagues have been thrusting at them for years. In reflection the ..read more

We have been running a lot of workshops recently and for many the experience is the same. They begin to realise that by using the self coaching techniques we teach them they are beginning to take responsibility for and make choices around their mental health. As they do this they are effectively advising themselves on what their best course of actions is. Often, as they reflect, they realise the advice they are giving themselves is very similar, but not exactly the same, as the advice their family, friends, mentors and helpful colleagues have been thrusting at them for years. In reflection the ..read more

There’s plenty of people who need help dealing with their anger. Not many want to talk about it. It’s the shame, you see. We all understand that, now we have witnessed how Will Smith clearly felt after he had calmed down a little and the remorse and the possible consequences of his actions had kicked in. But he has helped us talk about it a little more. Our phone has been buzzing all day with radio stations asking for comment. Chris Rock has his part to play Chris Rock has his part to play in this drama too. He was just doing his job. His job, however, is to make or poke fun at people and when ..read more

The old proverb “ignorance is bliss” is often trotted out to assist and support those who worry about things they haven’t even come to know about yet. In those circumstances it can be true. Examples of where ignorance genuinely is bliss include other people’s opinions of us, unpreventable calamities that are approaching and most of the stuff that occupies our worrisome anxious minds. We really do spend too much time sweating the small stuff. The challenge many of us have is that we can point to many situations where, with hindsight, if we could have psychically divined or guessed what was goin ..read more

Brexit consumed our thoughts, then COVID-19 came along and raised the fear and uncertainty stakes. Last month I wrote the article “Leaning Into Uncertainty” and thought that was enough to get us thinking about what vulnerability meant. Then Vladimir Putin decided that Russia wasn’t big enough and has since, through his actions, raised the uncertainty and fear levels across most of the world. During this latest period, as part of our plans to give back to the HR community, here at Calm People we started a series of complimentary workshops covering topics related to our core subject of Emotional ..read more

I hesitated about adding the word vulnerability to this article because I had a concern it may turn potential readers away. My reasoning being, ironically, there are many of us who are afraid to be vulnerable, therefore, afraid to be afraid. I think many of us have realised as we continue to experience one pandemic, several different forms of lockdown and almost 2 years of talking about almost nothing else but a virus, that uncertainty is actually ever present.  Despite that, because we crave certainty and safety, once things “settle down” many of us will tell ourselves the lie that there ..read more

We all know the term snowflake. It’s derogatory. Originally used to describe the Millennial Generation but also widely applied to Gen Z too.  Collins English Dictionary had it as their word of the year for 2016 and defined a snowflake as “ someone viewed as being less resilient and more prone to taking offence than previous generations” When we have a need to make up a derogatory term to describe someone or a group there is usually more than just a need to categorise a new thing we have discovered. Most often what lies behind it is a need to defend our own position which means we are scar ..read more

No…I have not developed a stutter No…I am not swearing  Any stressful situation can produce a reaction in our amygdala which we know as… Fight Flight Freeze   So where is your leadership team? If we have a healthy relationship with stress (yes we can have one of those) we are likely to have active coping strategies. Ones we use to manage ourselves and keep ourselves in the healthy stress zone otherwise known as the Eutress Zone or Stretch Zone. That nice area outside of our comfort zone where we learn so much about ourselves…and others Continuing the healthy relationship we may even ..read more

It is International Men’s day. Since we work in the field of mental and emotional health I thought I’d put a couple of random but interrelated thoughts down. This years themes are Making a positive difference to the wellbeing and lives of men and boys Promoting a positive conversation about men, manhood and masculinity   Women can be part of the problem A lot is written, and very much of it is true, about our misogynistic society. There are unhealthy parts of our society and there are also expectations that run the other way. There are still plenty of women who expect men to be the strong ..read more

Let those who cast the first stone… It is with deliberate irony that I start this article off with a misquote of a sentence from The Gospel According to John”, chapter 8, verses 3–7 Let those who cast the first stone be without sin. For those that prefer less religious referencing maybe…those in glass houses should not throw stones Both statements suggest that none of us are perfect so who are we to judge.   None of us is perfect   These are wise words. They are to be taken notice of. Sometimes, actually quite often, they are misinterpreted.  Many of us enjoy judging others so m ..read more