In a not very surprising move, ex President, insurgency leader and out-and-out traitor (according to Piers Morgan’s half brother’s girlfriend – official) Donald Jasper Dump has set up an alternative Capitol Riot Committee. The committee hearings will be held at Dump’s luxury prison complex on the traffic island next door to the Mar-a-Lago club in Palm Beach, Florida. The committee has been set up by the luxury prisons magnate, ex president and self-declared fanny magnet to carry out what he calls ‘a fair, unbiased, honest, warts and all’ investigation into the events of January 6, 2020 ..read more

  While ex-president and self-declared greatest man that ever lived, Donald Trump, sulks and skulks in his palatial Florida mansion, his favourite wife / daughter, Ivanka, has yet again astounded the world with her insatiable greed. Her ability to prize cash from the super-rich is truly a thing of beauty. Her latest abhoration is ‘Vanka’s Pop-Up Elite Ultra-Right Insurrection Club.’ Located in a luxuriously equipped meeting room just off the lobby of the Trump International Hotel in Washington DC, the enterprise consists of an exclusive club for America’s elite ultra-right wing barnstorm ..read more

  It was revealed today that the outgoing self-proclaimed greatest ever American president, Donald Trump, has spent $2bn of US taxpayers’ money on a portrait of himself. The portrait was commissioned yesterday evening and was completed within fifteen minutes by New York sidewalk portrait artist Iva Daub4U. The artist, famous for drinking her own turpentine while she paints, allowed selected journalists a glimpse of the completed work, currently hanging on the wall of her basement public restroom home beneath Penn station. The lucky members of the press pack afforded this privilege were c ..read more

  It was revealed today that the outgoing self-proclaimed greatest ever American president, Donald Trump, has spent $2bn of US taxpayers’ money on a portrait of himself. The portrait was commissioned yesterday evening and was completed within fifteen minutes by New York sidewalk portrait artist Iva Daub4U. The artist, famous for drinking her own turpentine while she paints, allowed selected journalists a glimpse of the completed work, currently hanging on the wall of her basement public restroom home beneath Penn station. The lucky members of the press pack afforded this privilege were c ..read more

  The media is currently awash with Covid anti-vaccination scare stories, none of which help in the fight against this malevolent and destructive virus. So, it came as a bitter blow to the medical profession that, following a very public inoculation with the Pfizer Covid 19 vaccine, on the hand of the arm that received the jab Vice President Mike Pence has mysteriously grown an extra thumb. The Trump administration in general, and specifically the blond comb-over cretin himself, has been spinning the news hard to herald the breakthrough in developing a vaccine as Trump’s personal achieve ..read more

  News that the ex-president’s wife / daughter, Ivanka, has jumped on the Covid bandwagon to make a fast buck from it came as no surprise to the hastily assembled press pack summoned to The White House this morning. Instead of the usual briefing, a two hour rant from Trump about how the 2020 election was rigged, everyone else but him is a cheating crook, and the world is against him, Ivanka Trump took the lectern. Wearing a doctor’s white coat she boldly announced her latest money making enterprise. As from Monday next week, for a fee of $10,000 per jab, Ivanka is offering inoculations a ..read more

  Those that lie awake at night worrying about what will happen to Donald Trump when he is dragged kicking and screaming from The White House in January can at last get some shut eye. A spokesperson for Walt Disney Studios, Mr Michael Mouse, announced yesterday that a new movie has been commissioned in the Marvel franchise, with a new superhero called The Incredible Sulk. It also confirmed that Donald Trump has accepted the role of the main character, Dr Steve Bannon, for an undisclosed fee believed to be in excess of $90m. “We are absolutely delighted that Donnie-Boy has accepted our of ..read more

  Swiftly on the back of the President finally growing up and accepting that the majority of Americans prefer a decent human being to him, Donald Trump has announced his Christmas plans. He is to spend the holiday in a cell inside New York’s main jail complex, Rikers Island. The announcement came as a surprise, but not a shock to journalists attending the president’s latest pop-up news conference at the 13th hole of his golf course in West Palm Beach. It was expected that the President would set aside some time to acclimatize himself to the future that lies ahead for him once he leaves o ..read more

  MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction), a hilarious feature screenplay soon to be serialized in a ten-part podcast, has long been a thorn in President Trump’s fat thigh. The script features a parody of president Trump in the form of a character called Donald Jasper Dump. Dump, the owner of a string of luxury prisons, steals the US presidency thanks to the help of Russian president / gangster Vladiwell Putitin. After taking office Dump picks a fight with the Chinese president Me Hung Long. The end result may or may not be Armageddon. You’ll have to wait till the movie is released to find ou ..read more

  In a surprisingly politically insensitive move, President Elect Joe Biden has announced that he is to go to his inauguration ceremony next January riding a lion that has been fitted with a prosthetic latex mask of ex-US president (we all hope) Donald Trump. The twelve-year-old male lion, called ‘ol’ grizzly,’ will be supplied by one of Biden’s old circus pals, ‘Dangerous’ Jack Catflap. It is a little known fact that president elect Biden was once a circus clown who performed under the stage name of Beppo. The prosthetic latex mask will be supplied by Disney studios. “I’m delighted that ..read more