My Motherhood, ambivalence
Mother Mother Blog | Antenatal, birth & postnatal doula
by Ruth Pay
4y ago
Hands have fallen softly Resting on the rise and fall Of dimpled home, now empty, Laying gently opened, small. I don’t know who I am now But I’ve never felt more me. My universe exploded While my world shrunk up tiny. “A mothers place is in the wrong”? Feels true to me right now. I hold in my mind, at the same time: I’m not enough my love, I can’t, Yet I am all you need and want. I tell myself to be: A cushion of safety, A nest from which you cannot fall, A fence that’s strong and wide and tall, A cupboard that holds all your needs, A room to let down all your tears. You are min ..read more
Visit website
Two
Mother Mother Blog | Antenatal, birth & postnatal doula
by Ruth Pay
4y ago
Twenty-four months, eight seasons, Seven hundred and thirty twists of our world. What city sunk to lend you its life? Did you steal the spark from a star, now dead? I'd probably believe you if you told me you had Diverted the power from a town's power plant; Sucked it dry and left it dark. You are just so much, I can't make sense of when you weren't. Time's moments extend in space That's made as you step away. I think there's a distance I can stand, Around 10 feet - but not much more than. Yet, I still feel that you are me. That I extend to where you end And no space betwee ..read more
Visit website
New Mothers
Mother Mother Blog | Antenatal, birth & postnatal doula
by Ruth Pay
4y ago
New Mothers: You feel less than, but you hold multitudes. You feel forgotten, but you have just been indelibly imprinted. You feel broken but you are building new synapses with each glance and touch. You feel lost, but you have the map; feel the thin raised lines of each fingertip and know that you can take the time you need to find your way. You feel alone in a sea of semis, every 3rd house with its own doubting, overloaded mother. You feel tired, so tired. You feel like nothing, yet you are everything. Ruth Pay, October 2019 Postnatal Support ..read more
Visit website
My year as a doula - 2019
Mother Mother Blog | Antenatal, birth & postnatal doula
by Ruth Pay
4y ago
Wow, what a year. Reading back my 2018 reflections is quite astonishing from my seat at the start of 2020. Ok, sure, it’s mid-February. Unlike Ruth of 2018, I do not care a bit how “late” this is. If you’re interested, you’ll read it and if you’re not then you won’t. My January 2019 started with some dregs of postnatal depression clinging on, a year of mothering under my belt and fully embracing the new adventure of being a birth doula. At the end of the month I supported the second family in my doula journey and so enjoyed being part of their pregnancy story and feeling useful in th ..read more
Visit website
The time between
Mother Mother Blog | Antenatal, birth & postnatal doula
by Ruth Pay
4y ago
I see you. Aching back and heavy belly. Breasts rest on it, warm and ready, Your joints slower, loose and bendy, Folding tiny socks and wondering; - Was that something then or nothing? How will I know when it's the real thing? - Your mind fast whirs towards the ending. - Ending? No, it's just beginning. - Ruth Pay, November 2019 Get Support ..read more
Visit website
Moving Space
Mother Mother Blog | Antenatal, birth & postnatal doula
by Ruth Pay
4y ago
As we sat together, You in labour, moving space Towards the moment that you’d be no longer just you, but two. More than the sum of your parts; Blown apart by birth. I could feel your baby joining us; Gathering her strength from yours. The energy was building; Making space that would be hers. You held the strength of each contraction. The room was steady, Charged, And yours. Ruth Pay, March 2019 ..read more
Visit website
Postnatal Anxiety. How to save a life.
Mother Mother Blog | Antenatal, birth & postnatal doula
by Ruth Pay
4y ago
I had one of those right place and time moments today that actually has left me feeling a little shaken that it could have been possible to miss it and what might have happened if we had. Sat in a coffee shop working I looked up and saw a mum sitting down across the room to eat a sandwich, jiggling her baby in the pram while she fretted a little. Because I often feel on high alert for mums and parents who are having a tough moment, I am never quite sure if I walk the right line of helpful & friendly vs. creepy and interfering. I basically try and give out the vibe that someone can approach ..read more
Visit website
My Doula Diary - Hande's Birth Story
Mother Mother Blog | Antenatal, birth & postnatal doula
by Ruth Pay
4y ago
PTP - This beautiful woman is @handeluluyoga with her 2 week old little bean. Hande's labour was hard. And long. She did not sleep for 48 hours or more before an intense 3rd stage by which time her contractions had slowed and were not helping her as much as would have been ideal. Hande was a powerhouse;  serene, strong and determined. She showed me yet another side to women and their abilities. Birth is a baptism of fire. It is big. It is bigger than you think you might be able to cope with. But you will be changed, and that change will mean you can cope. Sometimes you can thrive and som ..read more
Visit website
Thoughts on - Real Food for Pregnancy, Lily Nichols
Mother Mother Blog | Antenatal, birth & postnatal doula
by Ruth Pay
4y ago
I was sent this book in April to read and give my opinion on. And sure, I have been busy since then - but I have also been putting off writing this review. Each time I look at the book I feel so woefully under prepared to be able to provide an opinion on nutrition in pregnancy and, honestly, I am worried I will say something wrong and silly. Something that will make it obvious that I do not have good food credentials, not environmentally friendly enough. I think perhaps there is also a bit of me that does not want to find out how much better a mother I could have been to my unborn child - I a ..read more
Visit website

Follow Mother Mother Blog | Antenatal, birth & postnatal doula on FeedSpot

Continue with Google
Continue with Apple
OR