“How do you do it?” I exclaimed, utterly flabbergasted. “How do your kids do all the things?” I was talking to a friend of mine, who was telling me about the daily carpool process she and her family underwent most evenings after school. With multiple kids signed up for multiple sports and recreational activities, they were always on the go; and busy as they were, they were all excellent students, well-mannered, and very well behaved around adults and other peers. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. She shrugged. “You just make it work,” she said. In comparison to her family (and many, many othe ..read more

I know that around this time of year, it’s normal for there to be a little extra hustle-and-bustle. The holidays are definitely on the way; and even though Halloween was not that long ago, the radio stations in town are already gearing up for their round-the-clock Christmas music. There are ingredients to buy and meals to prepare; gifts need to be thought of, bought, and wrapped; and this particular whirlwind is set into motion until the very last bit of confetti is swept away on New Year’s Day. But this year, to me, feels more hustly-and-bustly than usual, and not just because I heard my firs ..read more

Well, here we are: the first “back to normal” Thanksgiving holiday since 2019; and like many Thanksgivings before it, it’s a time that can be fraught with heated political discussions, arguments, opinions, and time with family and friends that can seem incredibly heavy. Or, not. It can also be a time of great relief, celebration, joy, eating delicious food that will lead to a fantastic nap on the couch while the Lions/Bills game blares in the background, and not much else. Chances are, it may be a little of both, the way life is a lot of both. That’s usually the way it goes, even if the loveli ..read more

To say that the past few years have been a collective strain on most of us is an understatement. Wedged somewhere between a global pandemic, political and economic chaos, polarization in our homes and institutions, mass shootings, and an emergent war in Ukraine, we find ourselves struggling to get by from day to day. Recently, descriptors like numb, stuck, frustrated, exhausted and hopeless are common with most everyone I meet as a therapist. One group that has been particularly vulnerable and affected by these events are parents. Providing safety, shelter, food, and other necessities has alwa ..read more

Life on the Other Side of Suffering The military has a slang phrase that I’ve always liked: “Embrace the suck.” Embrace that which is terrible – accept it, get through it, and become changed by it (hopefully for the better).  And there is so much to embrace! I mentioned last time the tremendous amount of collective sucking there has been over the last few years, which has run from the extremes of contagious (and fatal) disease to the terribly deep distrust that many people have about the truth and where it comes from, to the degeneration of relationships and the literal fear of other peop ..read more

My mom was an early riser. Up hours before the sun (and before anyone else in the house was awake), she’d be downstairs in our basement, the morning news sounding from a small portable TV. She would pore over her daily lists, notes and numbers she kept on legal pads; and with cigarette and coffee in hand, she spent all that time looking over her to-do list for the day. It’s not a bad idea, making lists. It’s a good way to check in with yourself, to write down concretely on paper all the thoughts and feelings that may be floating around in your head. In these last waning days of 2021, making a ..read more

Humans adapt, for better or worse. When times are turbulent, we grow more cautious and fearful, maybe even bitter. We learn how to scrimp and save, sometimes to a fault. Some of us become industrious, some of us become increasingly afraid. Some of us learn to ride the waves, and some even go with the flow. I was thinking about adaptation recently as the holiday season approaches, about holiday gatherings and seeing friends and family. I’m sure you’ve seen the endless ads showing families happily reuniting, pre-Covid style, picking up where 2019 left off – I’ve seen them too. But what do you do ..read more

Living in the Moment I work as an aide in a Preschool, and this year’s class is bursting with energy. I’m greeted at the start of each school day with bubbly stories, eager 4-year-olds ready to learn and sing, and some of the cutest faces you ever did see. One of those faces belongs to Mikey (not his real name), one of the sweeter kids in the class. He listens and does his best to follow along when the teacher guides them through forming their letters and learning about things like the weather and what day of the week it is, and he always has a story to tell about a place he went to with his p ..read more

What Scares You What was your first scary movie? I was ten when I was at a sleepover and the movie of choice was “Child’s Play.” Do you remember that one? About the creepy, evil, possessed doll named Chucky that would come to life and murder people? Not the best movie to show a ten-year-old, that’s for sure. (Especially a ten-year-old whose cousins owned a “My Buddy doll” that was Chucky’s spitting image and terrified her for quite a few months afterward.) It was so much easier being a kid and scared of concrete, real things that could be defined. I was scared of murderous dolls. I was scared ..read more

Tell Me More: Episode 5 https://etalktherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Tell-me-more-Ep-5-Managing-Our-Mental-Health-in-a-Polarized-World.mp3 (Music fades in) Have you found yourself feeling frustrated, angry or at odds with family and life-long friends over things like whether to wear a face mask, whether to get a vaccine or any other hot button issues? Well, if so, you are definitely not alone. Polarization in America appears to be a wide divide. It’s carving our nation into distinct camps – where compromise is, more often than not, tossed out the window. Is this a true picture of what’s ..read more