From time to time, there is still debate over the value of the Billy Graham rule. If you are not familiar with it, it comes from Billy Graham’s policy of not being alone with a woman outside of his family. Many pastors have adopted this rule and will refuse to meet with a woman unless someone else is present, preferably another woman. There has been some pushback against the Billy Graham rule. One is that assumes that the pastor is a male, although it does not have to. Some female pastors work hard not to be alone in a room with a man. But the main concern seems to be that it assumes that if ..read more

There is plenty of bad news about the church in the media. Unlike some people, I don’t see this as a “war on the church” but rather an increased transparency and a wider sharing of the failings that do exist. But is it all bad news? I have been a pastor for about twenty-five years and have served in numerous churches. There is plenty that I could complain about but that would not be the full story. The truth is that there are plenty of godly and loving pastors and congregations out there. There are people who are making a difference in their communities. There are people sharing Jesus in respe ..read more

You get a call that the church social planned for tonight is cancelled due to bad weather. Your reaction of either relief or disappointment may indicate whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. Pastors and church leaders come in all shapes and sizes, including introverts and extroverts. But which one is better? I was in a leadership program and was told by one of the staff that I had low leadership potential because I was an introvert. Only extroverts could be effective leaders. I went on to argue that Jesus was an introvert, a point he strongly disagreed with. Whether or not Jesus was an ..read more

I have been a pastor for approximately twenty-five years and I have enjoyed it for the most part. There are challenges, as there are with any career. If I had the chance to redo my life, I would still want to be a pastor. I think many people are aware of the costs of being a pastor. There is the fish bowl experience for the family. There is the need to be on call twenty-four hours a day and that even when we are on vacation, we might be called upon. There are the conflicts with leaders and congregants. But there is one cost that I do not think most people consider. This may not be the case for ..read more

Emotionally, I want to write a different letter than what I am going to write. I want to tell you how disgusted I have been with some of the content you have been creating. But that is not the letter I am going to write. Not exactly. I remember when Babylon Bee first came to my notice. I thought some of the posts were quite clever. I especially enjoyed the ones that poked fun at the church and Christian culture. Most of it was pretty good natured. But there was a change. I can only share what I as an observer noticed about the change. It felt like the Babylon Bee was weaponized to fight the cu ..read more

Until relatively recently, there was very little if any discussion of church trauma. Now there is a lot of discussion on this topic, often from two very different perspectives. Is trauma real? There are those who see church trauma everywhere. The truth is if you are looking for signs of church trauma, you are going to find it. This is especially true if trauma is not carefully defined. If it has a wide definition, you will see signs of it in most churches. There are those who dismiss claims of church trauma. These accusations are just thin skinned people whose feelings are easily hurt. If peop ..read more

I have read quite a few leadership books and have found most of them helpful. However, I often finish the book feeling like I do not quite measure up. The picture of the leader is one who inspires others because they have it all together. They are the smartest person in the room. Even if they don’t have all the answers, they fake it until they make it. Basically: Show no weakness. Dan B. Allender offers a different model of leadership in Leading With a Limp. According to Allender, our weaknesses are not obstacles to good leadership but are integral parts of it. What he shares makes sense. Thi ..read more

There are many families that struggle financially. This can be because of a loss of income or because of an increase in prices for utilities, groceries, and other expenses. There are many families where a parent is regularly working but still can’t make ends meet. There are organizations that keep tabs on families that are struggling in these ways and they are connected with individuals and other organizations that sponsor those families at Christmas, a time when that lack is especially felt. Is this something that congregations should get involved in? Our church has been involved in this for ..read more

There tends to be two different emphases when it comes to ministry styles. One is program-focused and the other is relationship-focused. Now someone is likely to push back and say that this is a false dichotomy, that it is not an either/or but both/and. Leaders who emphasize programs also value relationships and leaders that emphasize relationships also value programs. This of course is true. Most churches have elements of both and leaders often desire to have both. But I would still say that church leaders naturally tend more toward one than the other. You probably know which one rings true ..read more

I have commented on the fall of numerous respected Christian leaders from Ravi Zacharias to Bruxy Cavey. Each time I write a post or record a video, I am all too aware that there is another Christian leader caught up in sexual misconduct or abuse of power just around the corner. I recently saw the headline for some news from Crandall University, a Christian school only a couple of hours away from where I live, that they had terminated the employment of a faculty member after an investigation. I know a number of the faculty there and hoped it was none of them. The faculty member in question was ..read more