When you discover that your partner cheated on you, it can feel like your world is ending. You rewrite the whole history of your relationship. Everything the two of you built together comes into question. Because of the affair, you wonder who they really are and if they were ever honest with you. If you open up to family and friends about the affair, you’ll hear lots of advice, some sympathy, and if you’re lucky, words of love. It can be hard to know who to listen to; you question yourself and your own judgment. You doubt your intuition, forget how to trust yourself, and may even devalue your ..read more

What does it mean to live in chaos? Are some people just more prone to self-sabotage? If you haven’t caught it yet, I am the first guest on the new season of Andy Dick’s new podcast. In each episode, he tries to deal with an aspect of his crazy life and promises he is there to take a good hard look at his addictions. If you don’t know Andy Dick, he is an actor and comedian well known for his celebrity roast appearances on MTV. In episode one, we tackle Andy’s tumultuous sex life. As the kick-off episode of his new podcast, aDiCKted, I try to get Andy to open up about his dysfunctional rel ..read more

When You’re the One Who Cheats is available from Amazon.com! bit.ly/whenyoucheat An excerpt from When You’re the One Who Cheats © RL Publishing 2019 By Dr Tammy Nelson Keep yourself in check. Watch what you do. Be responsible. Don’t let yourself sink into denial.  It’s easy for these micro-cheating behavior traits to sneak up on you. You may be in the midst of another cycle of cheating or pre-cheating behavior and not even recognize that you are starting things up again, either with your old affair partner or with someone new. What Counts as a Micro-Cheating Behavior? Micro-cheatin ..read more

An excerpt from When You’re the One Who Cheats © RL Publishing 2019 By Dr Tammy Nelson As an exploratory exercise, and to do research for this book, I logged onto one of the more popular “married but dating” websites, Ashley Madison, a website where married people meet other married people to have an affair. There are 54 million people worldwide on the website, and I wanted to know what was drawing so many people to the cheating site. I created a couple of profiles for myself. I wanted to know and understand what the experience was like to cheat online. I was also curious about how it might b ..read more

(An Excerpt from When You’re the One Who Cheats by Dr. Tammy Nelson) The following is an exercise to help you prepare to disclose an affair to your spouse. When revealing infidelity to your partner, it is important to handle the conversation with compassion. What you are about to tell them will undoubtedly be hurtful. You will need to show empathy and kindness when you tell your spouse about your affair. Think about the following five things before you begin. One. This conversation is purely to disclose your affair. This isn’t the time to tell your spouse how you feel about your marriage. Do ..read more

(An Excerpt from When You’re the One Who Cheats by Dr. Tammy Nelson) If you’re having an affair, and you want to disclose the affair to your spouse before you are confronted, here’s an exercise that may help you prepare. Use the following steps to help guide you before revealing the affair to your partner. You’ll want to handle this delicate conversation with respect, dignity and compassion. Remember, what you’re about to reveal to your spouse will undoubtedly hurt; you’ll need to show empathy and kindness. Things to Think About Before Revealing Your Affair Think about these five things below ..read more

The “Casual Dating Affair” is one that evolves slowly. It sneaks up on you. Perhaps this has happened to you. You’re only going out for drinks, or for lunch, or for an occasional “business” dinner, with a friend or colleague. You’ve had a few of these get-togethers. This kind of casual relationship begins to turn into something more. You find yourself attracted to this person, you enjoy their company, you want to spend more time together. You text after dinner to say thanks. You send a snappy meme. Then they send you a selfie. You avoid telling your wife or husband about the drinks, and the ..read more

There is no indication that cheating is a disease, an addiction, or a personality trait. Affairs happen for a variety of reasons. In fact, there are as many reasons for infidelity as there are people. Often an affair happens because of opportunity. If your partner is in a business environment or in an industry or has a hobby where cheating is rampant or even encouraged, they may be more likely to cheat repetitively. Because they have more opportunity to cheat, it can be easier to take risks. But it doesn’t mean they will always cheat. Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? Repetitive cheaters also ..read more

Have you ever developed a close relationship with a colleague who you called your “work spouse?” Have you ever thought about allowing (or did allow) that relationship to cross over into something more? If so, then you have likely experienced what I call “vicinity attraction.” We spend so much of our waking hours at work. It makes sense that we would develop close working relationships. And sometimes sexual attraction happens when we spend so much time with people we like and respect. What is Vicinity Attraction? “Vicinity attraction” happens when a relationship develops as a direct result o ..read more