Whilst post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) are very serious conditions, people do casually throw around labels such as ’trauma’, ‘traumatised’ and ‘PTSD’, without really knowing the meaning of them. But if we consider actual PTSD and CPTSD, it’s important to know that your personal experience may differ vastly to the experiences of others. No two situations are ever the same and, therefore, no two recovery processes are the exact same either. And so, if you’ve been reading an article that doesn’t fully resonate, or watching a video that does ..read more

To Suppress Or To Not Suppress I once had a lovely client who had been on antidepressants for some time by the time our paths crossed. When we would have couples coaching sessions – he, his lovely wife and I – he would struggle to engage with his thoughts. It was visibly noticeable and the numbness was palpable, and as it seemed odd as he was an intelligent man with a great job, I brought this to our mutual attention. It became clear to my client that his antidepressants were getting in the way of him being able to engage his brain fully. Now, what I’m about to say does not constitute medical ..read more

Happiness Is… We live in a world where people have gone beyond trying to keep up with their neighbours, ‘the Jonses’, and are instead trying to keep up with the entire world. Wow! It’s a lot…of unhealthy pressure and social comparison. We all know that comparing ourselves to others is silly because everyone’s circumstances, upbringing, genetics, advantages, disadvantages, life experiences, etc, are incomparable. Yet social comparison is one way that some people seek to gauge their worth, their achievements, and even the quality of their life. But what does that do to one’s own happiness? And c ..read more

Teammate To Teammate When your partner is going through a tough time emotionally, what do you do? Do you feel concerned, give them attention, and try to help them? I hope so! But if not, whilst you may think you have a ‘valid’ reason for it, it probably isn’t actually strengthening your relationship. Caring for someone deeply means being bothered when they are bothered by something. So when your partner is experiencing negative emotions of any sort, helping them to regulate their emotions from negative back to positive has far reaching consequences: It helps them to be happier and healthier a ..read more

Pursuing Your Various Life Goals Living in a hyperconnected world is a blessing and a curse but perhaps one of the main challenges is how social media has tampered with people’s self-esteem, confidence and relationships. For example, social media provides a place for people to flirt with others 365 days a year, thus increasing (chances for) infidelity. It provides filters for distorting what we all look like, leading to a lack of self-acceptance and self-esteem. It has bridged the gap between people living at a distance, but created a distance between family and friends living nearby. And with ..read more

Reversing Gender Norms Whilst having more egalitarian gender roles may work better for some in the modern day, does flipping gender roles entirely make for better romantic relationship outcomes? Apparently not. An increasing body of research suggests that when traditional gender roles are reversed in romantic relationships, where women have attained higher societal status than their male partner, the relationship suffers.   Researchers Test How Traditional Norms Affect Perception & Outcomes Researchers conducted three experiments: two involved 223 participants from the United States a ..read more

Sometimes you face major hardships in life and as a result, you might end up having depression, clinical depression, officially named major depressive disorder. Clinical depression has been found to affect significantly more women than men. By January 2016, studies suggested that depression affected 20% to 25% of women whilst affecting 7% to 12% of men [1]. Fast forward to 2020, and it was estimated that there had been a substantial increase in the prevalence of major depressive disorder around the globe due to the pandemic and its handling [2]. No surprise there. So its prevalence is common ..read more

Three Ways Your Communication Affects You If you love your spouse, even though sometimes they do your head in and other times they down right hack you off, once all is said and done, you still love them and want them to be healthy and live a long life. So to help ensure that happens, you’ll want to take this research on board in your marital communications going forward. Researchers set out to look at how spouses’ typical communication styles day to day affected husbands and wives biological health, emotional health and the health of their relationship [1]. And it turns out, all three are nega ..read more

Keep Moving Forward   Continuous progress in life boosts your wellbeing, positively impacts your personal relationships, and enables you to achieve your all important goals. Below are 25 quotes to help you shift from stagnation to progress.   25 Progress Quotes For Your Personal Growth   1. ‘Success is steady progress toward one’s personal goals.’ Jim Rohn   2. ‘Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tiptoe if you must, but take a step.’ Naeem Callaway   3. ‘Taking small steps to see what you can find out usually ..read more

Parenting Highs And Relationship Lows Although having children can be a beautiful, magical experience for many, it can also take its toll on a couples’ relationship, perhaps now more than ever thanks to unrealistic expectations set by celebrities and others on TV and social media. Often, we see a picture of how glamorous and fulfilling parenting is. And whilst some now speak out about the challenges, the reality of how dissatisfied it can leave couples is nearly always omitted. As a relationship coach, however, that’s something I do see. So if you want to have children, or you’ve had them and ..read more