Growing up, alcohol was an accepted source of comfort in my family. I began underage drinking, which was tolerated on weekends and holidays. Weed and hallucinogens were my drugs of choice in High School, although I kept those hidden as best I could. I attended Christian High School all 4 years, but fancied myself a bad boy. Remember the “Bad Boy Club” t-shirts? At age 19, I spent almost 7 months in jail for robbery. I chose drugs over family and couldn’t afford Christmas presents that year. Hurting others became a rationalized and reoccurring theme. My priority was me, with both feet on the ga ..read more

Part of life is confronting fear now and then. Whether it is a poor health diagnosis, a turbulent flight, a car accident, speaking in public, a home invasion or even a scary amusement park ride, we’ve all experienced the sweaty, jittery, heart pounding experience. Fight or flight over takes us and makes us feel like we want to jump out of our skin. Fear can benefit us in some ways. It gives us the energy to react to a situation, however it can also be paralyzing keeping us from living life fully. Fear can also make us feel out of control of our situation or environment. I can remember a partic ..read more

Weeds are the unwanted plants that grow in your yard. They pop up suddenly and grow fast. A weed can start out innocent looking, maybe even have a pretty flower, but if left to grow, it can spread out taking over your entire garden; choking out all the other plants and robbing them of nutrients. These same weeds, if left unattended, will eventually take over your entire yard and if you have cracks in your walls or foundation they can invade your home. Problems in our lives are like weeds. Whether it be a health, relationship, home maintenance, work or addiction problem or a toxic person in our ..read more

I would consider myself a perfectionist. I can hear my dad’s words echo in my mind, “if you can’t do it right, then don’t do it at all”. When I set out on project or task, I strive for perfection. This has hindered me many times. If I don’t think something is as perfect as I think it should be, I would redo it until I could accept it or give up completely. It has occurred to me that in trying to do things perfectly, I have held myself back from having the freedom to be creative and accepting of my imperfect projects. Over time, I learned I have wasted a lot of time, money, mental anguish and c ..read more

Have you ever started out on something and quit before you received the reward of your efforts? Often times we start something, get frustrated, feel like we aren’t getting where we want fast enough and give up. Giving up robs us of the future of our efforts. No matter what the situation might be, perseverance is hard, but nothing worthwhile ever comes easy. We have to realize that anything worth achieving takes determination and effort. It’s hard to accept this in today’s instant, fast paced environment. We are falsely led to think everything in life should be as easy as clicking a button on A ..read more

Most of us take our lives for granted. Most of us don’t stop to think how we received life or why. We know the biological process of conception, but have we thought beyond that? What about your chances of being born? First you have to consider women have only so many eggs and limited child bearing years. Peak reproductive years are between teens to late twenties. By age 30 the ability to get pregnant starts to decline. This decline becomes more rapid once a woman reaches mid 30’s. By 45 fertility has declined so much that getting pregnant naturally is unlikely for most women. Over the course o ..read more

There’s an earthquake and your favorite vase fell off the shelf. You look down at all the pieces and feel like you’re looking at your life on the floor. You fall apart. You feel like you have no control over outcomes. The life you planned isn’t the life you’re living. Sometimes the choices we make don’t form the path we planned. Maybe the career choice ended up not bringing joy to your life and now you feel stuck in the never ending cycle of going to a job you don’t enjoy. Possibly the person you married isn’t who you thought they were and now your life together doesn’t feel like happily ever ..read more

When we think of freedom, maybe we envision the last day of school as a child with our entire summer ahead of us, free to do as we wish, without the schedule of school. Perhaps we see ourselves running through a meadow without a care in the world. Maybe freedom is moving out of our parents home to live on our own, or it’s riding a motorcycle with the wind blowing through our hair. Some people equate freedom with being financially free. Having enough money to do and buy anything they want. Others feel freedom is living in a country where they are free to think, speak, and believe as they wish w ..read more

A habit is defined as a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up. According to experts with Psychology Today,habits form when new behaviors become automatic and are performed with minimum conscious awareness. That’s because “the behavioral patterns we repeat most often are literally etched into our neural pathways.” Neuroscientists have traced our habit-making behaviors to a part of the brain called the basal ganglia, which also plays a key role in the development of emotions, memories and pattern recognition. Decisions, meanwhile, are made in a different ..read more

A trigger is something that causes (an event or situation) to happen or exist. While recovering from addiction, a trigger is some sort of internal or external stimulus that causes the former addict to desire to use drugs or alcohol again. Internal triggers include thoughts, emotions and memories. Examples are: stress, mental or physical illness, being hungry, angry, lonely, tired (HALT), social isolation, negative and /or challenging emotions, boredom, overconfidence in recovery or any other feeling. External triggers include people, places, things. Examples are: seeing the object of your addi ..read more