Prayer
Widower's Grief
by
11h ago
           I don’t know how to pray. I only know to sit in a quiet place and listen.  - Mark ..read more
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Find a Bench
Widower's Grief
by
2w ago
              Find a bench where you can pause your busyness ..read more
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Listen
Widower's Grief
by
1M ago
 In the morning, before you begin your activities, find a quiet place where you can listen to the day opening up.  ..read more
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Simplify
Widower's Grief
by
1M ago
Simplify your life.  Listen. Take care of others. Mark ..read more
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Dinner Table
Widower's Grief
by
2M ago
  Come to the dinner table where you have a place among others who have cancer or are grieving the loss of someone they love. Dine with those who are living with uncertainties and fears. They understand what you are feeling. Here you do not have to explain.As we eat a meal together, we share our stories of being shattered and lost, the nearness of death, the dislocation that a cancer or any serious diagnosis brings. We talk about the stillness of our days and the long drift of the hours of night.  If you are currently in the hospital and your table is a tray, take time to fellowshi ..read more
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The Woods at Dusk
Widower's Grief
by
3M ago
 (I posted this last year. I still like it.) It’s late December and the woods are quiet.  I stand in my backyard lost in the mystery of trees. Two squirrels chase each other through the snow and deepening shadows. I listen to trees creak in the breeze, and hear the soft click-click-click of empty sunflower shells land on each other, dropped by wrens and finches at the feeder. The magenta of sunset flows across the sky, then shifts to rose.  People around my neighborhood have placed electric candles in their windows and draped garlands of lights over their bushes and along thei ..read more
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Blue Christmas
Widower's Grief
by
3M ago
  The holiday season is a time of renewing our faith in people and in matters unseen, scraping together enough hope to get us through the coming year. But for those who lost loved ones this year, it will be a blue Christmas, a blue Hannukah.  Even in the best of times, the holidays leave most of us exhausted and wondering if they are worth all the effort. The endless shopping, baking, and gathering with gaggles of family and pods of friends will deposit us on January 2nd feeling fragmented and weary. We will wonder if we feel any happier, wiser, or more grounded, and we’ll think a ..read more
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Weeping While Sowing
Widower's Grief
by
3M ago
 When we are living with great heartache, it’s difficult to imagine ever feeling happy again. Suffering takes our life over, and we’re tempted to wrap it around like a blanket to protect us from being hurt even more. This passage in Psalm 126 (echoed in Matthew 21) speaks of two realities of life: sorrow and hope. Someone is weeping, yet they go out to plant a new crop so that people will have something to eat in the future.  We do not get over our losses by dwelling on them. We don’t get over our tragedies by ignoring them or saying that they don’t matter. They do matter because t ..read more
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Grief That Moves Like Water
Widower's Grief
by
3M ago
 I did not understand death or grief until my wife Evelyn died unexpectedly. She was in her 40s when she had a heart attack. Her death uprooted my life and left it in ruins. As I slowly made my way through the landscape of grief, I began to find words that were capable of expressing the depths and devastation of the grief I felt, and how it flowed and meandered like water. “Like Water” is my essay on losing Evelyn and how we like to tease Death by taking risks, some of the dangerous, until someone we dearly love dies. It was published this month by the superb Linden Review, one of the f ..read more
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Pushcart Prize Nomination
Widower's Grief
by
4M ago
  I’m thrilled to share this news with you!  Under the Sun literary journal chose my essay as one of its nominations for the Pushcart Prize.  The essay recounts my hike up to the top of Clouds Rest in Yosemite, at nearly 10,000 feet, when I was trying to find a place of acceptance after the death of my wife Evelyn: Steven Church – “Pooling Resources” Ren Cedar Fuller – “Naming My Father Wes Lee – “Maybe Tomorrow” Mark Liebenow – “Walking West with a Mountain” Kathleen Melin – “Strangely Wonderful” Elaine Palencia – “Right Here with E.T.” You can read the essay at this link ..read more
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