I am so grateful and excited to be a regular contributor on Celebrating Act2, a video blog which offers advice on living the second half of your life. Every other Thursday, I’ll have a new post offering advice and dishing about the cesspool that is middle-aged dating. Here’s my interview with Celebrating Act2 chatting about my upcoming posts:   And here’s my first ever post by myself discussing the biggest problem with dating at middle-age:   I promise I’ll improve! This is definitely a learning process. Please watch, share if it resonates with you, and let know what you think! Tha ..read more

Life as a blank slate When George died, my life was very small. I’d never left the United States, had lived in the same suburban house for almost twenty years, and my grief therapist thought I might be agoraphobic. Which I wasn’t exactly, I just couldn’t think of any place I wanted to go by myself. I did not embrace change. During our 32 years together, George had chosen where we went, and what we did, and drove us there himself. So my own driving and socializing skills were pretty rusty, and I wasn’t used to being in a car by myself for anything more than running a few errands. Some of the ..read more

The lovely fellows at Celebrating Act Two, a Youtube Vlog, interviewed me for their channel. Here’s the video: Thanks for watching, and please share if you enjoyed. The post My You Tube Interview with Celebrating Act Two appeared first on The Hungover Widow ..read more

Photo from Unsplash I’ve been reading lately about the difficulties women over thirty-five face in finding a good man. Statistically for those of us dating at middle age, it’s even worse when we’re over fifty. My conclusion: Dating itself has failed us. Originally, dating led to marriage. Sex was coupled with commitment, and accountability was paramount. If a guy promised to propose but failed to follow through, you could sue him for breach of promise. Or your male relatives could just come after him with pitchforks. Relationships today are amorphous, like a jello mold filled with yummy l ..read more

When my husband died in April of 2013, I didn’t think I deserved to have a future. And that led me to fall into emotional abuse. By the time he was diagnosed with male breast cancer, it was already at Stage Four. At least, that’s what I believe. He never told me about having any symptoms until he announced one day that he was going to the hospital for “tests.” But by then, it was too late. As he got sicker, he fell into deep denial. He rejected care, wouldn’t let me get involved in his treatment, and demanded that we conceal his condition from his parents. Over time, I dressed the weepi ..read more

Looking cranky! If I could describe middle-aged daters in one word, it would be bitter, and that bitterness is destroying our chances of finding love. Let’s start with the origins of our bitterness For many of us, our resentment began with the very event, usually death or divorce, that caused us to be single in the first place. We never expected to be in this situation at our age, and we’re still in mourning for our past lives, or at least our idealized versions of them. As we set sail on the murky waters of adult dating, we feel that fate has already failed us. We’d assumed our lives were ..read more

Looking cranky!   If I could describe middle-aged daters in one word, it would be bitter. And that bitterness is destroying our chances at finding love. Let’s start with the origins of our bitterness For many of us, our resentment began with the very event, usually death or divorce, that caused us to be single in the first place. We never expected to be in this situation at our age, and we’re still in mourning for our past lives, or at least our idealized versions of them. As we set sail on the murky waters of adult dating, we feel that fate has already failed us. We’d assumed our liv ..read more

Image from Unsplash To me, so much of the dysfunction surrounding dating in middle age boils down to the way men and women of my generation were taught to behave. Specifically, little boys were brought up to conquer while girls were brought up to be docile. In the early seventies, when I started first grade, little girls weren’t even allowed to wear pants to school. The boys were free to cavort on the monkey bars, but we girls had to play while holding down our dresses so they wouldn’t fall over our heads. That image pretty much says it all. I started law school in the mid-eighties, t ..read more

Not my Idea of a Date   (Quick Housekeeping Note: With the blog’s makeover, my two prior posts didn’t get sent to most subscribers. Here are the links if you missed them: Surviving the Onset of Widowhood and What if Valentine’s Day Became Loneliness Awareness Day.                                              *           *           * On Dating: I’ve been hearing lately from several guys who are having trouble getting follow ..read more

Image from Pexels When I started dating again after being widowed at fifty, I wondered, where are the men who act like grownups? The ones who get their gutters cleaned, keep their homes reasonably tidy, have edible food in their refrigerators, and want a life partner instead of easy sex. The ones who want a love that lasts. Even though they know it isn’t always easy. I wanted a grown man who truly cared about me, who’d be there on the days that were hard for me, like my late husband’s birthday, would listen to my worries over home repairs, and be available to talk even on the days we w ..read more