You never forget the pain of not being in your child’s life. Never. Instead, if your lucky and got the right people around you, you learn to live with it. But your never quite satisfied. If you stare or if you don’t look at it at all, if you grow stronger and better or if you slip, if you run away or if you collapse to the floor, it’s always there. Like a shadow. To have had something so pure, such a indescribable bond that only a parent knows, taken from you leaves you with half a life. You can scream at how unfair it is. How angry you are. How it’s his or her fault. How it shouldn’t be. But ..read more

As many fathers will experience I am now on the other side of the battle to be a father to my child. Naturally my initial reaction, as is most dads, when they realise they’ve lost is one of anger at the system, depression at the new reality and denial that any of its true. I’ve spoken before about the personal mental health battle I’ve faced and overcome, its a journey every father who’s been denied access goes down. Some let it control their lives from that point on, some battle it for years and find a way to live with it without ever truly filling the void, and others deny it ever happened a ..read more

As an alienated parent there are certain times of the year that hit home the hardest. There are some weeks where the mentality is one of ignorant positivity and blind courage to make the best out of the situation you’ve been dealt. Then there are others when the circumstance takes over again. Christmas is always hard, their birthday, Easter, fathers day, fireworks night, and other occasions that mark anniversary’s of the few special memories you have or events that should be spent your with foreigner offspring. These times are particularly hard to simply ‘play the hand you’ve got’ and to gathe ..read more