I have experienced post partum depression and anxiety. It's one thing to type that as a sentence. Its another thing entirely to welcome someone into the actual experience of not wanting to care for your baby, or to express to a friend the irrational thoughts that have been causing your heart to race. Sharing specifics in the thick of it is difficult because it’s messy. You risk someone’s good opinion of you. You risk being “too much” and thereby risk the relationship.   The experience of post-partum anxiety began for me at 37 weeks pregnant with each of my children. Often without warning or an ..read more

Three of my friends gave birth to baby girls in the month of August. One of them was born asleep. Two of them announced the news about their daughters on social media on the same day. A local friend posted a photo celebrating the safe arrival of their surprise baby girl after two boys, and right beneath it in my feed was an announcement from my dear friend Emily that their baby girl after two boys was delivered still born. I knew that both of them were coming. I had already seen both of the photos. But seeing them on top of each other took my breath. The tension was thick that day for me. And ..read more