This past week has been jam-packed with all the feelings. While I’m no stranger to openly weeping at a slightly sentimental commercial, the back-to-back combination of Olivia’s first ballet recital coupled with AJR’s pre-k graduation has tested the very limits of my emotional well-being. I reveled in all my dance mom glory watching Olivia make her ballet debut with a two-minute performance set to “When You Wish Upon A Star”. My smile was stretched to its limit as I did my best to record her pirouettes through eyes blurred by tears. Then, a mere two days later my voice literally caught in my th ..read more

Time is a cruel master of mothers. An agonizingly slow torturer of exhausted moms watching the clock through bleary eyes, wondering why it’s taking so long for bedtime to roll around as she scrapes crusted mac and cheese from a pot as the soft din of a Disney Junior show entertains her kids in the distance. While distracting you with the rigor of daily life, time swiftly chisels away at your round-cheeked babes, shaping them into long lean boys that break your heart because it seems to have happened so suddenly. Time is slow march that have mothers begging for a reprieve. For the years beyond ..read more

I am harboring a dirty little parenting secret. I like to think that we all have them. These things we do within the safe confines of our home away from the judging eyes of society. These little parenting shortcuts or hacks that we perform in an effort to make our lives easier by appeasing our kids and going against sage pediatric advice. I probably have several of these as I’ve yet to come out of the “survival mode” I entered when I had Olivia 3.5 years ago, but this one is probably the one I feel most ashamed about. You see, Olivia is still using her pacifier. Only at night. And only for nap ..read more

For the last two year’s around Father’s Day as sort of a “roast post”, I’ve stated that I would love to be a dad for a day. However, with Mother’s Day this Sunday, I did some deep thinking and realized I have it all wrong. I don’t want to be a dad, I want to be a toddler. I want some sort of weird Freaky Friday scenario to transpire between Olivia and I where my mind is transported into her three-old body. Yes, it’s probably problematic to give her three-old mind access to a 35-year old woman’s body and car keys. But as a three-year old I would  get to wear all the awesome rainbow and unicorn ..read more

There are two very important subjects I’ve been wanting to write about for quite some time but haven’t because neither has truly warranted its own post. However, fate decided it was time for me to open up a dialogue regarding the subject matter and put the wittiest and silliest blog post title in my brain. The first being my family’s infatuation with flatulation and the second being crafting with kids. Before I go further, I owe it to my husband to issue a disclaimer and absolve him of any embarrassment. The obsessions with farts, toots, fluffies (insert your own terminology for them here) doe ..read more

In a few days I’ll be headed to Ohio to visit my family to kick off the kids’ spring break. However, I’ve caught myself saying “I’m going home” a few times, which is an odd thing to say as Ohio hasn’t been home in a very long time. In the past 13 years I’ve lived in three other cities that are hundreds of miles away from Ohio. Eight of those 13 years have been spent living in our small town in New Jersey, which feels more than a blink to me. As much as I consider myself an Ohioan and Midwesterner, these years spent in NJ have worn me down and I’ve taught myself the local vernacular, mostly for ..read more

Fact: Easter candy is by far the most delicious of all the holiday candies. Related Fact: Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Eggs are more delicious than regular cups and any other holiday Reese’s shape (Trees, Pumpkins). Also A Fact: Large Easter Egg Hunts for the masses are THE worst. Coming off the heels of my anti-Leprechaun trap post, it may seem like I don’t like many holidays. That is totally untrue. I have no problem with Easter. I like Easter. I enjoy Easter. I make myself sick on Starburst Jellybeans because dear God those things go down so smooth. But after the experience our first and last ..read more

We have been having a WEEK over here. As I write, I’m wrist-deep in a bag of mini Cadbury eggs in an attempt to repair my fragile emotional state with a chocolate cure-all. I’ve fully acknowledged that Olivia has begun to embrace the stereotypical behaviors of a threenager but apparently that was just the amuse bouche of the 10-course tasting menu of bittersweet toddler she’s dishing out with Top Chef-like authority. Her insults are scathing (in a three-year old sense) and go straight for the emotional jugular. Then there are the withering stares where it looks like she’s trying to use the po ..read more

Our kids have way too much crap. There’s crap in the play room, there’s crap in the basement, there’s crap in the office, there’s crap in each of their rooms, there’s crap in the kitchen. CRAP CRAP CRAP EVERYWHERE! You cannot escape it. I understand that this is just the way life with kids is going to be for a while. So I truly don’t mind the box of markers and coloring books that have become the centerpiece of our kitchen table or the fact that the Man Cave looks more like a Fisher Price play den. Easy for me to say since it’s not my man cave, but you get the point. The point being that until ..read more