Christmas looming and husbands birthday. Strangely I wasn’t feeling terribly festive approaching Christmas 2020. My close relationship with my family had been erased due to lock-downs and bubbles and my husband had been diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma and had just started chemo. Sometimes I think I may have manic tendencies. Having said that we wouldn’t be having a Christmas tree or decorations I decided we would amalgamate husband’s birthday and the Yuletide spirit, only I wouldn’t tell husband of my plan. Basically on his birthday the family and a couple of friends would be invited roun ..read more

The doc may be small, but she doesn’t believe in small talk. The facts are itemised. It is Non-Hodgkins lymphoma, follicular. It is demanding treatment, no Watch and Wait for husband. The pelvic lump is bulky, and there are signs of NHL above and below his diaphragm, and on opposite sides of his body it’s Stage 3, bulky. Chemo. Would that it was that simple though, there is a study. PETRea Do you want to take part? Here is the information. Read it and decide. We will see you in 2 weeks and proceed from there. Oh yes. Don’t catch Covid, you will die. What? We had covid right at the start of the ..read more

We were summoned to see the haematologist, not an oncologist. Lymphoma is classified as a blood cancer. That made us feel it could just be masquerading as a malignancy. That it’s less serious, less of a cancer. Is this just the different ‘label’ or that the GP had planted in our psyche, that this NHL was a good cancer to have. Is it just that we are choosing to believe that this a fake cancer? The day comes round to see the consultant. We are greeted at the hospital atrium by two people at a trestle table. Hand gel is promoted, masks are required and then the persons ask where we are going. We ..read more

Recap. Painless lump. Transient, itchy rash. Breathless. Scan. Biopsy. The escalator increased it’s speed and an appointment to see an haematologist flew in. A face-to-face appointment was issued and, despite Covid, I was invited to attend. Meanwhile I had sneaked a look at husbands medical record on the GP patient portal and there were the result of his Computerised tomography, CT, scan. Yep, there it was , the lump in his axilla. Hmm. The 9cm one in his abdomen, pressing against the major arteries supplying his lower limb came as a surprise to me, and an even bigger one to husband. He had be ..read more

Back in March we both came down with Coronavirus. Recovery was slow but we just felt pleased that we were gradually feeling slightly more like ourselves. Yes, we were both breathless, husband more than me, but so what. Life was returning to a new type of normal. We were socialising more, masks had become a fashion item, hand washing and sanitising part of ending every activity, of entering and leaving every shop. Everyone was walking, footpaths grew wider and wider. Farmers appealed with walkers to stick to footpaths. People would keep their distance. It was socially accepted that if you were ..read more

My last post had bemoaned my troubles with my knee. After a letter of appeal to the Local Commissioning Group my operation was approved. 2019 was ending with a positive. Second week of December I went into hospital and had my op. All terribly lovely. The NHS locally are using a local BUPA hospital for some procedures and I was a lucky one. Wow. Loveliness surrounded me. I came round from the op and my lovely surgeon came to see me. Yes, my operation had gone well. My knee had been tidied up but, I have grade 3 arthritis and need a knee replacement. Whoops. Elation to depression in one sentence ..read more

Back in December I had a fall. Smash I went. Knees first onto concrete. I couldn’t make a fuss because I was playing at being a secret squirrel. Hubby and I had decided not to buy each other presents for Christmas. Long story short, FB market place, new digital camera, waited ’til other half out drinking with his mates, sneak off and get camera for him. I kept quiet about swollen, bruised knees and difficlty moving. Stopped my aquafit, balletand determined walking. Allied with smoking cessation my inactivity lead to weight gain (and unhappiness). Move on to April. Tried increasing walking ..read more

Cripes. In my last post, at the tail end of last year I had given up smoking. I have still given up smoking, not one cigarette has approached my lips. According to my quit app it is now 252 days, since I last smoked and I have saved £1,889. The app is good, initially. It really helped me in those dark, shakey days, seeing the money I had saved. It does nothing now, I can go for weeks without accessing it. The not smoking has become easier, the habit is obviously diminishing, but I still miss having a cigarette. On holiday recently there were a lot of people smoking, and now all packets of ciga ..read more