I’m dashing through this blog post on account of me realising that it is February and my good intention to update this blog more regularly has already failed. No, hold on. We don’t say failed we say… I have also been channelling this guy: – No, not on account of my adorable fluffy cuteness but on the fact that I simply CANNOT be punctual. The reason I am dashing through this post is because I am off this weekend and I was desperate to post something in January (I know it’s February, I know) that related to two things: – January (aka Ye Olde Shite Month After the Mass of Christmas and Foode ..read more

Warning: this post references post-surgery bleeding and pooing and tries to provide attempts at humour. My advice for any person who is about to have a Trachelectomy procedure and wants to know what to prepare for afterwards is this: – That’s the only thing you need to do now. Whether this be mentally, physically, spiritually or grammatically please engage in some selfish behaviour that isn’t even that selfish to begin with. The hospital that performs the procedure may very well have their own pamphlet to give you but I am sadly lacking in pamphlet producing facilities so instead am giving y ..read more

Last blog post was about what a Trachelectomy is. This blog post is about my own Trachelectomy or at least the surgical part of it and the hijinks that ensued. Ooh, you are lucky things! To be fair, as I was unconscious for most of it I don’t know how long this post will be. I am planning on doing a post-Trach post (that’s a lot of posts) separately. Here is the Jolly Christmas Postman. Why? Why not? (Because there were lots of posts… get it? Get it?! What do you mean it is neither hilarious nor witty??! About two days before I was due to have The Big Op I was called by the hospital to inform ..read more

I’ve already written about what I refer to as ‘The Little Op’ which was my Pelvic EAU and Lymphadectomy (here and here) and now I’m going to be writing about what I refer to as ‘The Big Op,’ which happened nine days afterwards. I’ve already mentioned ‘The Big Op’ in passing a few times, but I’m going to be writing about it in more detail. And because I have a lot to say (when don’t I?) I’m going to break this into three parts. This is easier for you, the reader, to have smaller sections and also, it’s easier for me to write. Not from an emotional perspective, goodness no, but because I am like ..read more

This post is going to be short and, if not sweet, then I’ll aim for mildly amusing. I may fail on both those fronts. Back in January (it’s all back in January) as part of my pre-surgery diagnostics I had a MRI and more details on what entailed can be found in my post here. I met with my consultant and he told me that my PET-CT and MRI showed lots of cancerous activity in my cervix. Awesome. The words every woman wants to hear. But they performed surgery and I entered the world of being in remission. This has proven to be an interesting and often frustrating part of the overall journey. I use i ..read more

In 1998 Barenaked Ladies sang ‘One Week’ and in that song, the singer referenced that it had been one week (hence the name) that a nameless lady had looked at him. It has been longer than one week since I wrote my last blog post but trying to make, ‘it’s been nine weeks since I wrote a blog post about my cervical cancer because I’ve been busy and stuff,’ is just a little harder to fit into the tune. Try and pretend I made it fit and hum along. Video link is here for reference. The last blog post I wrote was called Pelvic EUA and Lymphadectomy Part One, emphasis on ‘Part One.’ I separated it in ..read more

Back in January I had two operations ten days apart, one of which I call ‘The Little Op’ and the other ‘The Big Op.’ I am choosing to write about both and in doing so I am going to reveal an awful lot of undignified, personal information about myself in the hopes that someone who reads this finds some comfort or knowledge in a shared experience. The second hope is that it makes people think about their lifestyle choices when it comes to medical tests and if there is anyone flip-flopping about having a smear than maybe this will be the metaphorical kick up the ass they need. Disclaimer – there ..read more

In my last blog post (written about ten million years ago when dinosaurs walked the earth) I referred to the fact that I was messing up the time-space continuum by doing my posts out of sync with the timeline. In keeping with that I am Quantum Leaping all over the place and messing it all up again. If you don’t have the faintest clue what I am referring to then you should be ashamed of yourselves because you are missing out. Here. Go here. I promise I will get around to the two posts that I need to write in order for things to make more sense. When they arrive, they will be entitled ‘The Littl ..read more

I’m messing up the space-time continuum of my blog to jump ahead to the previous couple of weeks instead of sticking to the current linear pattern of my posts. I am aware that I haven’t written in a while and the main reason is that very thing Rihanna sings about: – No. This is not an error. Yes. This is the version I wish you to see. Go forth and Elmo. I’ve been back in the office I work in for what seems like forever but I think is only just a month. The universe seems to have different sets of times; work time, illness time and holiday time. Illness time goes slower than regular time while ..read more

This week’s blog post is going to be brief as what I am writing about was a very brief encounter. Oh, good grief Charlie Brown! No! Not that type of brief encounter. Two weeks after diagnosis I met the consultant who was going to be my consultant and who got to have the immense privilege of being the one that removed bits out of me. At this point I had been bounced between two hospitals like a tennis ball – Frimley Park Hospital and Royal Surrey County Hospital. At Frimley I had my colposcopy, my diagnosis and the MRI with lovely Eileen. At Royal Surrey is where I had my PET-CT, surgeries and ..read more