I've been lurking here for a few months. I was diagnosed with childhood ptsd several months ago. Before that youtube was recommending videos to help overcome childhood ptsd. I'm coming to accept it but I'm still having trouble make the first step to move on. I've been with my counselor for two years and it's helping jog memories I'd forgotten about. I'm counselor wants me to journal and I bought a notebook to journal but it just sits there gathering dust. I know Journaling helps but I don't know what to write or how to begin. I was mentally abused by my parents plus my dad died when I was 16 ..read more

Has anyone else with PTSD stuggled with Apophenia? Its making it difficult to socialize and be around other people. Thanks! submitted by /u/Dubhlainn2 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

I’m 22 f and I have CSA and adult Sa trauma. I was triggered by something abt csa and now I’m so full of rage. I just want to kill rapists. I cant fucking chill. I’m so upset. Like feeling it all over again. Someone touching me. Like they have the right. I’m freaking out about my little sister, like I have to keep her safe or else it will happen to her too. I don’t know how to calm myself down or how to keep her safe when I don’t live with her. submitted by /u/gorefulgal21 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

When I was a kid I learnt really quickly to make sure no one knew about any secrets I had because any time my parents thought that I might have been hiding something from them they would pin me down and begin to tickle me while they told me to tell them what's going on or they wouldn't stop Even when I usually did break and tell them, they usually didn't believe me and just keep going I absolutely hate being tickled and always have . Of course, they knew this, and that's why they did it I would swear to them that there was nothing wrong or that i wasnt hiding anything but they Almost never be ..read more

I (21) was diagnosed with ptsd about a year ago when i finally got away from my mother, who locked me inside and sexually and emotional abused me all my life. I was in a mental hospital and got diagnosed with many other problems. I just want to know if it's common to have vision problems. Sometimes I'm completely present and can see everything. I'm completely unaware of my trauma, but then it comes back. The memories, flashbacks, feeling overwhelmed and stressed, sad and angry while trying to remain calm. My vision looks like it darkens, things are further away and i can't see things properly ..read more

I have a therapy appointment today and I'm actually super excited to tell my therapist that I actually listened to my body and rested during my illness this week even though it was a a struggle. I tried to explain this pride to my husband, and I very much don't think he understands exactly how hard it was for me to actually rest. I know the lovely people here will understand feeling proud of something that (seemingly) no one else could understand. submitted by /u/BobWoodwardFukedMyMa [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

I am always looking for things that will ruin me or will cause me pain and suffering. Every day, I wake up and think how pointless my existence is. I celebrated my birthday all alone, even my family didn't bother to call. I'm always the last priority. If I don't feel pain, I don't see the point in living. I don't feel loved or cared for, never been since I was born. I'm just a stain in this world that won't come off. submitted by /u/Flowerinavoid [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

I've been searching for a therapist for months now. A few weeks ago i thougt i finally found someone i click with. He seems to understand what im going through and how i feel. Well, in our last session he said that the expected time slot for weekly therapy Sessions that He expected to become available for me probably will Not become available as he Had hoped, because another client will probably need more time than expected. I am devastated. I tried several therapists by now. He seems to be the only whom i actually Had a good Connection with. Especially since my Trauma doesn't fit typical Tra ..read more

i took a walk this morning and passed through a park -bad idea. there were a bunch of nannies sitting on banks while the kids played in the playground and ig one of them just fell or something. the kid screamed so hard and started crying but actual cries. like kids tend to exaggerate sometimes and u can hear it in the way they cry but this one was really actually hurt and her cries and the scream really really triggered me. she sounded really hurt. i had a flashback i think and had to crouch down and put my hands on my ears and i started crying and heaving and i mustve looked so dumb. one of ..read more

After months of gaslighting myself into thinking I'm fine, I was finally diagnosed this morning. And I'm so relieved - it's like a weight has been lifted in a way. Does that sound weird? submitted by /u/lttlelionman [visit reddit] [comments ..read more