First off, let me just say that I am not a fan of judging the decisions or policies of other host families. What works for me might not work for you and vice versa and that is your business and ultimately only you can decide what your family is comfortable with and can/will tolerate. But… since this AP admits her mistake and wants to poll the group for context on how other families would view this situation and react I figured we could hear her out if she is willing to accept the feedback! :) “Hi. I’m an au pair and have been with my family for about 7 months now. Recently, they went on holid ..read more

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt As human beings we have a fundamental need to evaluate ourselves and our situations and the only way to really do that is in reference to something else. In fact there was a study done on this in the 1954 that actually proved it and coined the concept known as social comparison theory which changed social psychology forever. I’ll give you the Cliffsnotes version – it doesn’t do you any good to compare yourself and your situations to others and adding my two cents – if you are an AP it definitely doesn’t do you any good to compare your hos ..read more

The look I usually get when I ask another hostmom this question! Years ago we were hosting a transition au pair (friend of our au pair) and I got a phone call from a prospective transition host mom. I was a little surprised because I was not actually the host mom of this AP so my number was not even on her profile so I quickly made that clear to “Sue” and she said “Oh I know (AP) told me! If it’s ok I would just love to ask you a couple quick questions about what housing (AP) is like.” We proceeded to chat for over an hour and what this host mom told me changed everything about what I thought ..read more

How are host parents handling travel requests to “touristy” places from their AP during Covid?  We live in southern CA where the numbers are very high. Our AP recently submitted some time off for trips to San Francisco, Las Vegas and Dallas during January, February and March. We are not traveling or hosting anyone traveling (even grandparents, etc.) Our AP doesn’t watch the news or seem to understand the severity of the Pandemic. Our response that we’re not comfortable with her traveling or having her boyfriend travel from a different state to our home was met with tears and anger. Accor ..read more

I find global events and the repercussions of such fascinating. Y’all can debate in the comments whether that’s some milder version of Schadenfreude as my German AP taught me or if I should have just double majored in psychology and economics and missed my calling in college. I am curious though – especially in our current times the reality can often be very different than the headlines! I would love to know how this virus is affecting you, your APs and communities to seek understanding and see how we can best help/support each other in this unique program. Host families – Has your family b ..read more

repost from 2008 One of the biggest selling points for having an au pair rather than other kinds of childcare is its relative cost.  For years, having an Au Pair was less expensive for me than employing a full time professional nanny, and (especially for people with more than one child) less expensive than using an out of home childcare solution.  It was also less expensive than hiring a babysitter on an hourly, as-needed basis. Recently, I was “running the numbers” to give a friend some advice about the cost of Au Pair care when I came upon a slightly horrifying realization:  The ..read more

It’s been quite some time since I posted, but when this email appeared in my box I had to respond. The issue that this Host Mom raises is a very important one to ALL of us who’ve enjoyed the Au Pair Program in one way or another: There is no one — no Agency, no Agency Group, no vocal Local Community Counselor, no cadre of former Au Pairs, no lawyers, no government officials, no advocacy groups — no one advocating for the Au Pair Program. In the absence of anyone official who could or would speak on behalf of Au Pairs, Host Parents, the Agencies or the overall community, people in ..read more

Let me start by being very clear. We have been BEYOND blessed by our au pairs over the years and their impact on our family and our children cannot ever be properly expressed. We have built a global family that spans the nations of Brazil, France, Germany, South Africa and Australia plus an Italian that we didn’t even host but who vacationed with us and spent her travel month visiting us that’s been adopted into the group! We took in and housed au pairs that were removed from homes long before I became a local coordinator for an agency and we love learning about other cultures and seeing ..read more

“Dear Au Pair Mom– We are a new prospective HF looking for an au pair for the first time. We are targeting mostly Europeans and our main criteria is good driving. We’ve had interviews with a few candidates. We were close to matching (or so we thought) with a candidate from Germany who said all along she was very interested in our family. But after 3 interviews and a match offer, she ghosted us. She wouldn’t say no to the match, but wouldn’t answer either. Ultimately, she matched with another family and we were disappointed that she didn’t communicate clearly with us that she was not i ..read more

First off, let me just say that I am not a fan of judging the decisions or policies of other host families. What works for me might not work for you and vice versa and that is your business and ultimately only you can decide what your family is comfortable with and can/will tolerate. But… since this AP admits her mistake and wants to poll the group for context on how other families would view this situation and react I figured we could hear her out if she is willing to accept the feedback! :) “Hi. I’m an au pair and have been with my family for about 7 months now. Recently, they went ..read more