My son takes the blame for many things in the minds of strangers. When you have a non-verbal child with autism and you get to a party late, they assume it’s him. Nine times out of ten, it’s not. Sure, he can be the hold-out sometimes, but it could also be my teenage daughter locked in the bathroom well past the time we should have left. Other times , it’s me running through the house trying to find my car keys. On those days, Lucas is waiting with his iPad to get in the car. When we’re ready, he’s ready. Smiling and holding the speaker of his tablet to his ear, he’ll even give a clap and laugh ..read more

My non-verbal son, much like me, likes to rub the corners of his eyes when he gets upset. Between the buildups of both sinus pressure and overall stress, it is a relief. There are two issues with this. The first is that he doesn’t know how to do it himself. I’ve tried showing him how to massage his pressure points, whether his temples or the top of his nose. Yet, he can’t seem to get a good grip. That’s why he gets occupational therapy. No worries, though. He knows that Dad can do it. The second issue is that it took a while to figure all this out. Without words, Lucas can’t say, “Yo. I just w ..read more

Autism Awareness month is in full swing and it’s 30 days of representation in media. Movies, shows, and everything in between are set to spotlight how autism isn’t really that different from those who aren’t on the spectrum. You know the shows I mean. Someone with autism seems to be socially isolated only to come around in the last 20 minutes and do something amazing in the traditional sense. The happy ending has a kid catching a football, getting the prom crown, or saving the roller rink by solving a math problem. The moral is that those with autism are really just like us. So what’s my issue ..read more

When your child shows signs of delay, there are many things to worry about. I thought about the possible scenarios and diagnosises that could play out. I also thought of all the people I was going to have to fight. Yes. Fight. Throwdowns in the food court with starin’ Karens and dilweed dads who would dare to judge my wonderful son. I was in a constant dream world of fighting people who gawked at my boy. It was like Walter Mitty meets Steven Segal. Daydreams with spin kicks. That sort of thing. Keep in mind, I can’t even do a spin kick. Still, I had a feeling I’d need to break one out at some ..read more

Having a non-verbal son with autism puts an ironic twist on the fact that I spend so much time thinking about wording when writing about him. I say he “has autism”. To some he’s autistic. Does it mean the same thing? Pretty much, but still, the debate rages on. Of course, we do the same thing with Autism Awareness Month…or is it Acceptance Month?  Awareness or acceptance? I guess I never really thought about what any of that meant before having Lucas. Autism affects my boy in its own way. It is the cause behind a lot of his challenges and delays in life skills. Given the nature of these o ..read more

When my non-verbal son was little, I used to hold his hands. If you’re reading that and saying, “aww”, you’re reading it wrong. It’s not nice. It’s something that I am now, ten years on, embarrassed to admit. I didn’t hold his hands out of love or assistance. I held his hands to stop him from clapping or stimming. I’d watch as he’d do things that resembled the traditional signs of autism. I tried to stop him from being who he was and who he would become. The fear of autism was real and I didn’t know what it would look like for him or for our family. My thought was that if someone saw him doing ..read more

In 2017, I began writing about my then-six-year-old non-verbal son. Many of the posts I came across during his earlier years didn’t share the enthusiasm and excitement I came to experience when raising him. Their tone seemed a bit downtrodden and worried me for a future that I so desperately wanted to be excited about, so I set out to make my own. Fast forward to today and my 13-year-old son is still non-verbal. He still has autism and still struggles with many of the life skills that other parents of kids his age take for granted. Arriving at a destination requires an extra five minutes to pu ..read more

The biggest fear I had when my son was first showing signs of delay wasn’t the lack of speech that would eventually be a part of his life. It wasn’t anything tangible that I could put a name to. It was the future. More than anything, imagining him as a teenager felt like peering into an unfathomable abyss, filled with unknown challenges and silent fears. That sounds like a silly concept to anyone who gives it more than a passing thought. After all, we’re all afraid of the future. I don’t know what tomorrow looks like for me. I don’t even know if there is a tomorrow for me. I’m just rolling for ..read more

One of my main goals in writing about my son is to show the world the realities of raising a non-verbal child with autism. Lucas’s challenges may be unique when compared to another 12-year-old. However, the positives that come with a loving boy like him are immeasurable. Writing about my son’s great qualities comes easily to me. The special ways in which autism affects his personality create a person unlike any other I’ve ever known. Sure, his obstacles are unique, but so are his wonderful characteristics. But beyond sharing these traits, my mission is to help others see Lucas through my eyes ..read more

One of my main goals in writing about my son is to show the world the realities of raising a non-verbal child with autism. Lucas’s challenges may be unique when compared to another 12-year-old. However, the positives that come with a loving boy like him are immeasurable. Writing about my son’s great qualities comes easily to me. The special ways in which autism affects his personality create a person unlike any other I’ve ever known. Sure, his obstacles are unique, but so are his wonderful characteristics. But beyond sharing these traits, my mission is to help others see Lucas through my eyes ..read more