On this day, seven years ago my world changed. I learned a new word; transgender became part of my vocabulary. Along with that I learned about the difference between sexual orientation, romantic attraction and gender identity. I learned about testosterone for people who were assigned female at birth and who wanted to transition to male. Transition was another word I learned; until then I thought it meant to move from one activity to another. All this information made my head spin, my stomach churn, and my heart ache. Why? On this day, seven years ago, my younger child told me that she was a he ..read more

Grandpa Ira enjoying life It was the summer before my senior year in college. 1979. I was living on campus, working and enjoying Ann Arbor in the summer. My mother was declining. Her dad, my grandfather, was ill. My grandparents lived in Florida and I had a ticket to fly down to help my grandma. My younger sister came to “live” with me in the hopes that a break from the stress of having a terminally ill mother would be a welcome change. She deserved to have fun and I had a fantasy that I could be a supportive, yet watchful older sibling. (More on this another time) I still remember answering ..read more

I can’t remember when I decided that I wanted to have children. As a tween, I babysat a few times but didn’t really enjoy it. I never felt comfortable in someone else’s home changing diapers for babies I wasn’t related to. As the oldest of three I definitely did more than my share of “babysitting” every Saturday night when my parents went out. So, I had lots of experience caring for children. And, I loved to play house as a young child. But that was all pretend; it wasn’t a future I planned for. It wasn’t something I saw myself doing as an adult. Certainly, I didn’t have dreams of being a mom ..read more

I have been motherless for nearly 40 years. I was 21, a senior in college and unprepared and ill-equipped to fully deal with or understand what this profound, life-changing event would mean for me or to my siblings. Not yet an adult, I certainly lacked the maturity required to manage this loss. There was no guidance ahead of time or conversations about what we would do when the time came. No one talked about the big “C” forty years ago. And, no one talked about the severity and seriousness of my mom’s diagnosis in front of her. Somewhere along the line, a decision was made to keep things from ..read more

Shame: a painful feeling of humiliation or distress When I asked my son (who is transgender) what kind of impact our support had, he looked me straight in the eye (which teenagers generally don’t do) and said, “I don’t feel ashamed of who I am.” Several years later and I can still feel the power behind that statement that he uttered with such conviction, not a moment’s hesitation. If you’re a parent and grappling with the news that your child is now identifying as transgender or as a gender other than the one assigned at birth, I want you to think back to your childhood…elementary school, midd ..read more

Stand with Trans is here for trans youth and their families. Our intention is to be a resource, a source of support, a safe place, a non-judgmental-all inclusive organization which is growing and evolving every day. Vocabulary is changing. As a community, we are becoming smarter about gender identity. As a mom of a trans masculine identified teenager, I work everyday to be an ally and an advocate. I have made mistakes. I am not perfect. I hope to be a strength to other parents out there, whether they are just beginning to come out or have been on this journey for years. On National Coming Out ..read more

This morning I read two stories on Facebook that brought sadness; each touched me in a very different way. Part One Tony Trupiano Tony Trupiano, a lifelong learner and a staunch ally to the LGBT community (especially the T), passed away. I’d only know Tony a few years. He ran a radio show, The Voice of the People, when we met via phone. He invited me to come on the show to tell my story – a story about parenting a trans boy. Then, he invited me to become a regular guest. Before every show, I worried about what I might talk about, what was new in my world and what was topical relative to the ..read more

Many of you know that I would go to the ends of the earth for my kids. If you’ve been following Call Him Hunter, you also know that my youngest is transgender. What you don’t know is that Hunter is not my first son. Twenty-three years ago (and a few months), in April of 1994, I gave birth to my first child. The birth was unexpected. I was only 29 weeks along and had only been to one childbirth class. It took a long time to get pregnant and we felt it was nothing short of a miracle when I finally conceived. So, when I woke up in the middle of the night cramping and bleeding, I knew somethi ..read more

Seventeen years ago, we moved to a new city. New jobs, new day care, new neighbors – all part of the package. One of the most vivid memories occurred just a few days after we moved. Our soon to be five-year-old began kindergarten in her new school. We hadn’t seen the school before our move. I had spoken to the school’s administrator and the kindergarten teacher ahead of time, both of whom assured me that our precious baby would be just fine in her new surroundings and that I had nothing to worry about. This child was very shy and often took some time to warm up to a new situation and new peopl ..read more

This is what we asked participants in our Gender Spectrum workshop: Creating Visibility and Acceptance through Writing. In about five minutes we had a list of about 40 words that represented concerns, emotions, questions and more from parents of transgender individuals as well as trans and non-binary young adults. The workshop was different from many of the sessions at the conference. Most required nothing more from attendees to sit and listen, take some notes (optional) and snap a few pictures of presenters’ slides. Unlike these other sessions, Janna Barkin, my co-presenter, and I did very li ..read more