Hey. I hope you're well and staying safe and sane in the current climate in the UK and the rest of the world. Just when you feel like things couldn't get any worse, our government is being frankly horrific towards Trans people, using us as a wedge in an effort to overturn the ECHR and the Equality Act, which will be awful for everyone. The corrupt people who run the country make me so, so angry. Anyway... That's not the point of today's musing. I didn't realise it's been over a year since my last post! I think that's probably what this blog is going to be now, just an occasional outlet when I ..read more

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Hey lovelies I hope you're all well and life isn't getting too difficult for you right now, wherever you are. It feels like it doesn't matter where you are in the world there is something awful going on, even in supposed democracies.  War, rising fascism, government corruption, a corrupt and ineffective media, rights and public services being eroded, the cost of living, severe climate change effects... The UK and large parts of the world are in an awful place right now. And every day there's something new to get angry about too.  Anyway, I want to talk about me for a bit, sorry ..read more

Hello you! It's been ages, how have you been? I hope you've been keeping yourself safe and well during this ongoing pandemic? It's been about 9 years since I started this blog. How time flies! I feel like I should do some kind of retrospective or something, but life has pretty much stood still for the last 15 months or so, so there isn't really anything to reflect on apart from the amount of time I've spent at home and all of the junk food I've eaten (big thanks to Just Eat and Deliveroo!). My partner went to visit her family last bank holiday weekend and I decided I was long overdue having so ..read more

This weekend I did it. After several years or more of not having the time or the space or the privacy or the patience, energy, enthusiasm or the right mood, an opportunity presented itself and I was able to push myself through my hang ups about my body and appearance to take advantage of this. I saw myself again and it felt good. I felt good. As far as she lets on, my partner is accepting of me to the point where recently and out of the blue she commented/reminded me that even though we've been working from home for the last 6 months or so and our house lacks any privacy, I could be myself at ..read more

Hello. It's been a long time hasn't it. I thought I'd check in and let anyone interested know that I'm still here, still alive, and give an update on what's been going on with my life. I hadn't realised until now that it's been nearly three years since I last checked in here. More importantly, I hadn't realised that it's also been longer than that since I've done anything meaningful with my trans-life. So back when I started this blog as My Gender Catharsis, I basically used it as a sounding board to try and help me to make sense of the confusing and conflicting thoughts I was feeling towar ..read more

I've been calling myself Genderfluid for just over a year now, at the time it seemed to describe the ever changing nature of how I felt about myself and my gender. However, i've recently come to the realisation that while how I feel about my gender changes on a regular basis, I don't think Genderfluid is the right way to describe it. I've come to realise it's not necessarily that I feel more male some days and more female others, it's more like it's how much I don't like my current gender that changes from day to day. It's how bad I feel about myself that is 'fluid', and I don't really think ..read more

Im struggling at the moment. I feel like I need to vent, but this is the only place I feel like I can do it openly. The GD is just kicking me really hard at the moment, really fucking hard, and it has been for weeks now if not longer. I hate it so much. It just feels like everything triggers it now, and I cant get away from it. I dont have an outlet for it that works, I dont know what I can do to calm it down. And the brave face ive been putting on cracks sometimes and I say things out loud that I dont mean to when im reacting to it. When I get those moments where my mind is taken off it, it ..read more

I can count on one hand the amount of times I have dressed up this year, but since my other half has gone to her parents and I treated myself the other night, I put the effort in and had a bit of a dress up today. I do love the top and the slippers are so comfy and warm as the fur goes all the way through the inside too ..read more

Last night after work I thought I would pop around some clothes shops to see if I could treat myself to something nice and girly this xmas. I was after some pyjamas mainly as I have no girly sleepwear at all but came home empty handed in that regard. I did however find a cute top in H&M and some (fake) fur slipper boots from Accessorize which were both in a sale. I would have been happy to buy more things but im really trying to be ruthless with what I buy. Ive bought a lot of clothes in the past which ive barely or never worn, and its a waste. Having a wardrobe full of stunning party dres ..read more