The New Gold rush. There’s a money spinning industry which has crept up silently over the last 5 years or so and become central to the leisure time of most young people all over the globe; DATING. But not as your parents would know it, no, this is a brand new all consuming dating industry which can be compared to shopping. 30 years ago, most people would visit their local high street when they needed to specifically buy a pair of shoes or a frying pan. The trip would be over in a few hours. Today, shopping is a pastime rather than an activity with any functional purpose. Shopping has been re ..read more

After my relationship ended in the middle of the first lockdown (perfect timing) it took me a year to get myself out there again and brave the dating apps – what other option do singles have during a pandemic? While it’s not like I’m a Tinder/ Hinge/ Bumble virgin, I had no idea how complicated and disheartening using these apps in 2021 had become. Back in the day you would swipe and swipe until you had a match, you would chat with that person and arrange to meet up for a drink to see if there was a spark. But now there is no messaging. After that ‘You’ve got a match’ notification is deathly s ..read more

Think back to the 1990 Salt n Pepa classic ‘Let’s talk about sex’. Specifically the line where Salt raps: ‘everybody should be making love‘ to which Peppa responds: ‘Come on, How many guys you know make love?’ And replace this with my own 2019 version: gay men should be dating. Come on, how many gay men you know date?‘ Most gays don’t date, never did and never will. Back in the pre Grindr days of 2010, when I wrote my book; Gay Dating, gay men had more physical, real time places they could go to meet other men in person. Soho was full of gay cafes, bars, shops and clubs and if you messaged a ..read more

Our dating coach & author of the Gay Dating Guide is waiting to answer your dating related questions. Email your question to info @ urbanconnections.co.uk with Q&A in the subject. [QA ..read more

The sushi conveyor belt of gay dating. I liken the dating mentality of Gay Londoners to a sushi restaurant conveyor belt . If you don’t like the look of what’s in front of you, no problem, there’s another and another and another all queued up behind . But rather than taking the plate and trying the dish, they’re just sticking their finger in for a quick taste as it passes by, while they continue to sit there alone and single. What makes Gay Londoners think they have endless dating options and why do they think they can afford to be so fussy? London is so gay. London and it’s gay centric indus ..read more

Gender Fluidity in the UK 2017 2017 will go down as a watershed in gender history. Teenagers are rejecting the binary choices of male or female, straight or gay. High street stores like John Lewis have removed boys and girls labels from their childrenswear department – everything is mixed together. Companies such as Channel 4 have installed gender neutral loos. Even Teresa May has announced new passports will no longer identify  the sex of the passport holder. There is some tangible progress which is occurring around the issues of gender and self identification. We’re moving into a new a ..read more

Definition of ghosting, from the Urban Dictionary: The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just “get the hint” and leave the subject alone. Any brave single soul who’s ever dared to dip a toe into the murky waters of dating has come across ghosting before. Whether you have been ghosted or you were, in fact, the ghoster, I liken this unpleasant experience to a big lorry cutting you up on a motorway – the driver can see you are there, happily toddling along, but he chooses to ignor ..read more

How many times have you heard a gay man saying it’s impossible to find a partner because most guys are just looking for sex? Whether this is true or not, with testosterone running riot in our systems, both gay and straight men are wired to think about sex every few seconds – without it less babies would be born and the human race may well disappear. But, us gays take it to the next level and that puts a big block on the road if your destination is Relationshipville. Aren’t all Gay Men Sex Addicts? In the gay community, sex addiction is often mistaken for the norm. Nobody bats an eyelid at mult ..read more

Is the gay scene a good or bad thing for gay men who want to find a partner? Surely it makes sense to frequent the places where most gay men hang out if you are looking to meet a boyfriend? There are so many dance clubs, leather bars and phone apps full of sexy single gay guys, so it would seem the possibilities for meeting a partner are endless!  In reality things are not so clear. Is the grass always greener? Firstly, there are so many gay men ‘available’, especially in big cities, that many single guys who are looking for a relationship find it hard to settle into seeing ..read more

Many gay men identify with either a top or bottom role, which is fine; but, to what extent should a sexual position/role dominate chosing a potential partner? What if a bottom meets a sexy, intelligent, funny man who is compatible in every way, but it turns out he is also bottom. Is that a deal breaker straight away or can this be worked around? Most guys would probably not persue that relationship any further as sex is an important factor in a relationship (gay or straight) but could other options be explored? Gay men looking for a relationship drastically reduce their chances of meeting some ..read more