“Don’t be frightened, dear friend, if a sadness confronts you larger than any you have ever known, casting its shadow over all you do. You must think that something is happening within you, and remember that life has not forgotten you; it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall. Why would you want to exclude from your life any uneasiness, any pain, any depression, since you don’t know what work they are accomplishing within you?” –Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet The Austrian poet and novelist Rainer Maria Rilke has so many wonderful quotes from the letters he wrote to a yo ..read more

Illustration by Stephen Andreo “Having extra needs does not make you too difficult, too time-consuming, but worthy of compassion and love.” –Chanel Miller Here’s my latest article for RheumatoidArthritis.net–published today! Not “Too Difficult” People who live with extra needs, such as having RA, often struggle with feeling like they’re a burden to their family and friends — and to everyone. They constantly worry that they’re “too much” for people because of their chronic illnesses and chronic pain: financially, physically, and emotionally. And they often work and fight really hard t ..read more

Kölner Dom (Cologne Cathedral), Cologne, Germany – January 2023 “From tiny experiences we build cathedrals.” -Orhan Pamuk I apologize for how long it’s been since I’ve updated this blog, however a lot of “tiny” and pretty BIG experiences have happened to me in the last few months–especially since the beginning of the new year. A last-minute trip to celebrate New Year’s Eve with old friends in Cologne, Germany kicked off almost two months of a rollercoaster ride of truly wild and unexpected events. Where to start? Well, firstly, I really love this quote from Turkish novelist Orhan Pamuk. It’s f ..read more

“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken.” -C.S. Lewis My head is constantly throbbing; my right foot and ankle endure shooting, stabbing pain every day; the bursitis in my hips burns me when I try to sleep. But these things are nothing compared to the pain my heart and soul feel. My heart IS broken.  My beloved Auntie Jean died October 10th after a short but horrific battle with cancer (proba ..read more

Illustration: Health Union, LLC I have suffered from intensely painful, chronic tension headaches since shortly after I was diagnosed with RA 25 years ago. The jaw pain began approximately 15 years ago, I think. Lately, my jaw, head, and neck pain has been flaring up a lot, and I’m pretty sure that it’s from clenching and grinding my teeth due to several stressful things going on in my life now. Here’s an article that was recently published for RheumatoidArthritis.net about my clenching problem: “Chronic Clencher” Looking back, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that my tension headaches began n ..read more

I’ve recently been working on an RA research project with imYoo Health, which is a biotech startup, originating from Caltech (The California Institute of Technology). INFO: ImYoo is a biotech startup that spun out of Caltech last year. With our kit, you can take a molecular snapshot of your immune system from home. We think this is important for making research accessible, no matter where you live. We brainstormed research ideas with folks who have RA and now we’re preparing to crowdfund a study for one of those ideas. Please answer our 3-minute survey, so we can launch this study!  ..read more

Minnesota, August 2022 I feel guilty that I haven’t updated this blog in quite a while. The days, weeks, months are zooming by; I don’t know where they’re going or how this is happening, once again. So, let’s see, what have I been up to? (if anybody still reads this) -Job searching/applying -Working as a process server again (ugh) -Still writing for RheumatoidArthritis.net -Still working with Pfizer, Inc. on photo essay projects for arthritis.com -Trying hard to return to my strict eating/nutrition which has helped keep my RA under control -Trying/wanting to do more freelance writing and photo ..read more

“I dream of never being called resilient again in my life. I’m exhausted by strength. I want support. I want softness. I want ease. I want to be amongst kin. Not patted on the back for how well I take a hit. Or for how many.”     –Zandashé L’Orelia Brown Here’s my latest article that was just published for RheumatoidArthritis.net: “Exhausted By Strength” This quote by Zandashé L’Orelia Brown resonates with me a lot, which I write about in the article. While it’s certainly nice and affirming for people to recognize what a difficult disease RA is to live with, and for them to rea ..read more

Exciting news! Well, I think it’s exciting at least. I just started a new Instagram page that focuses on the diet and nutrition changes I’ve made since 2020 that have really helped my RA and overall health. instagram.com/foodmatters.ra Even after losing 50 lbs, getting off my blood pressure medications, and getting off most of my RA drugs, staying on track with healthy eating is not easy. It’s often a day-to-day struggle and sometimes I slip up and eat something I probably shouldn’t–and that’s OK. I want this new page to be an honest depiction of my ongoing story related to food, RA, and my h ..read more

My latest article for RheumatoidArthritis.net was just published! It’s about a song I love, “Rebel Heart,” by Swedish band and sister duo, First Aid Kit. The article also emphasizes how much music is an important form of self-care for me when dealing with the physical and emotional pain of living with RA. “Finding Comfort in Music” I hope you enjoy both the article and the song ..read more