As I work with clients I heartily encourage them to love themselves through caring for this incredible organism that they are. We are a body. You can enjoy the idea and feeling of being a spirit too, if you like, but what we know for sure is that this body is the thing that allows us to have a life, here and now, on this Earth. Unfortunately people (including me) sometimes feel that it is a drag 'having' to care for the body. It has all these constant 'needs' and gives us 'pain'. Yeesh!  MINDSET This mindset is understandable. We are all busy and important people and we lose sight of th ..read more

 We need to rest. But what about “active rest”? It seems like an oxymoron, but what exactly is it and how can it help? Self care and rest come under the same bracket, and it’s widely accepted that we need these things. The world is full of noise and chaos and it’s simply exhausting, physically, mentally, and emotionally. So we need a break. Is there a way we can take a more active role in this? This is what today's blog looks at.  Media Addiction 'Doom Scrolling 'and 'Mindless Surfing' is not happening at epidemic levels, partly because we have been indoctrinated into med ..read more

To help see the value of this let's look at the story of Jo and Jae, two friends who lead similar lives.  It's a cold, icy and wet Tuesday morning... Jo is woken up by the alarm at 6:50am and looks at the weather, through the window, hits the snooze and goes back to sleep. Jo does this reputedly until 7:30am when it's time to get breakfast. In a hurry Jo spills the tea and in a rush to get in the car accidently drops the keys under the car, in the icy rain! Jo is annoyed with the cold weather and worried about an important meeting at work. On the drive Jo is going too fast, th ..read more

Mindfulness is all about being in the NOW. I have created an acronym to help us remember to cultivate our curious and creative state. This is the thing that will turn suffering into life. Pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice. You can be lost in the suffering of your mental anguish - FOMO, guilt, worry, resentment - or you can choose to process these things: Notice them - stop what you’re doing and tune in, recognise them, express them out loud or on paper. Observe them - allow yourself to see them, step back and communicate with them, and stay connected as they shift and morph. Track th ..read more

The study of philosophy enhances a person's problem-solving capacities. It helps us to analyse concepts, definitions, arguments, and problems. It contributes to our capacity to organize ideas and issues, to deal with questions of value, and to extract what is essential from large quantities of information.  The problem with philosophy is that it can go on and on and people can begin to believe the ideas they entertain. This is what many call BELIEF SYSTEMS. I shorten this to BS.  DOGMA = DOGMUCK When we deeply hold that our BS is true, and then whine on about it tediously and fall ..read more

When people feel vulnerable the psyche creates a protector using our powerful EMOTIONS. Sometimes this gets out of hand and it becomes a sabotaging ‘panicked protector’ which inhibits rational thinking to prioritize the immediate safety and survival of the organism.  In order for the panicked protector to calm down and allow a rational discussion, it must first feel a sense of safety. This is achieved by giving the vulnerable person space to share and be appreciated and acknowledged, feelings to be validated, respected and recognised before problem-solving or reconnection can h ..read more

As I worked with an anxious client I realised something: Most of my inner work and my work with clients is about unschooling us from the inaccurate and unhelpful narratives they have been indoctrinated into. We have all been brainwashed by well meaning adults before us. They were brainwashed too, it’s not their fault. It isn’t anyone's fault, but it is our responsibility.  IT'S NO ONES FAULT - IT'S OUR RESPONSIBILITY It’s my responsibility to notice when a thought is negative, that is to say, it depletes energy by arguing with reality. A negative thought is always inaccurate, wrong and ..read more

We all get wobbles. Life is full of challenges and we sometimes feel anxious, worried, frustrated, sad, depressed or even overwhelmed.  When this happens what often happens that makes it worse? and more importantly what could you do to help yourself? Let's find some inner peace! Vicious Cycles Well we often make things worse through panic thinking. We imagine all sorts of terrible things that might happen, or that 'did' happen (but probably didn't happen the way we imagined). We compare ourselves, or our experience with the ideal image of who / what 'should' be. In doing this we s ..read more

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Self-doubt, self-blame, self-criticism are normal and healthy parts of being human. They keep us in check. But for many of us, they get out of hand. Our protective parts become 'panicked protectors' and therefore sabotage our plans. When this happens we need to step back, calm the nervous system and practise some mindful reflection. One of the simplest things we can practice is appreciation. This is subtly different from gratitude. Appreciation is to recognise the value of what is present. In this blog, I'll explain why and how to do this. Self Doubt Sometimes the process of therapy, self-dev ..read more