This was posted to my practice newsletter this morning: Dear friends and colleagues, Things have been quiet here for awhile, but recently my ethical compass got spun around by the update to the privacy policy of the EHR platform I was using (if you haven’t heard yet, it rhymes with Dimple Cactus). I was particularly concerned about the privacy updates that stated a few different things: First: they were saying that they owned my user data and claimed that they had a “non-exclusive right to repurpose it in perpetuity.” Ugh. 9.2 License to User Data.  By uploading or submitting any Use ..read more

1. Remember that Confidentiality is our primary duty to our clients.  Confidentiality means more than not telling people the names of your clients. It also means that we remember that when we are posting status updates (whether on personal or professional social media accounts), we remain aware that these can be read by both our clients and those who know them.  In our training and education, we learned that name/age/sex/gender/ethnicity/race/etc. were components of confidential information. But now that many of us have pubic internet lives, we can quickly forget that there are peopl ..read more

1. Remember that Confidentiality is our primary duty to our clients.  Confidentiality means more than not telling people the names of your clients. It also means that we remember that when we are posting status updates (whether on personal or professional social media accounts), we remain aware that these can be read by both our clients and those who know them.  In our training and education, we learned that name/age/sex/gender/ethnicity/race/etc. were components of confidential information. But now that many of us have pubic internet lives, we can quickly forget that there are peopl ..read more

And so we sit together, my client and I. He is weeping, deep sobs making his large body quake. Tears over a woman who could not return his love. I sit with him, holding his despair. My eyes also feel wet and sad, but I notice other feelings within myself. First there is anger – who is this idiot woman who doesn’t realize what a sweet, kind, partner he could be to her? And the other feeling – the urge to come over to the couch, put my hand on his or rest it on his back. The desire to touch. Maternal feelings. Protective feelings. Nothing I would act on, but something I would observe in myself w ..read more

I sit in my office with my client. She tells me she feels fragile. After months of planning, she finally told her family that she is transgender. It was over the phone. They were mostly supportive. They suspected such a conversation might be coming. They also had a lot of questions. Her sister said, “Well, at least you live in San Francisco. We know you will be safe and accepted there.” She tells me that last part and her voice breaks. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry for her. She leads with tears. “Yes, I live in San Francisco, but I have had three bladder infections this year because I’m ..read more

This is a guest blog post on the theme of enhancing relationships, to celebrate the launch of Keely Kolmes’s upcoming monthly Relationship Skills Workshop. The first workshop will meet on Saturday, April 11th. The second one, just for singles, is May 16th. You can sign up here for newsletter updates. Those who receive the newsletter will get bonus videos and tips! Fighting about money? Financial therapy gets to the heart of the matter Photo by bigstock.com One of my areas of specialty is counseling people in relationships about their feelings and values around money. Often, peop ..read more

This is a guest blog post on the theme of enhancing relationships, to celebrate the launch of Keely Kolmes’s upcoming monthly Relationship Skills Workshop. The first workshop will meet on Saturday, April 11th. The second one, just for singles, is May 16th. You can sign up here for newsletter updates. Those who receive the newsletter will get bonus videos and tips! Sharing Fantasies There are many depictions of sexual fantasies in modern media, television and film. However, with the growing popularity of the “50 Shades of Grey” books by EL James have brought some of the less mainstrea ..read more

This is a guest blog post on the theme of enhancing relationships, to celebrate the launch of Keely Kolmes’s upcoming monthly Relationship Skills Workshop. The first workshop will meet on Saturday, April 11th. The second one, just for singles, is May 16th. You can sign up here for newsletter updates. Those who receive the newsletter will get bonus videos and tips! In Love and Struggle: Creating Space for Difficult Dialogues About Power, Privilege, and Oppression in Intimate Relationships Photo by Sha Grogan-Brown: http://www.etsy.com/shop/ArtBySha As a social justice oriented psycho ..read more

This is a guest blog post on the theme of enhancing relationships, to celebrate the launch of Keely Kolmes’s upcoming monthly Relationship Skills Workshop. The first workshop will meet on Saturday, April 11th. The second one, just for singles, is May 16th. You can sign up here for newsletter updates. Those who receive the newsletter will get bonus videos and tips! “Whole Lot of Driving Goin’ On”: Poly and Kinky in Rural America People with altsex identities, including the poly kink (PK) communities in cities often feel that they live in a small community. This post focuses on PK ..read more

This is a guest blog post on the theme of enhancing relationships, to celebrate the launch of Keely Kolmes’s upcoming monthly Relationship Skills Workshop. The first workshop will meet on Saturday, April 11th. The second one, just for singles, is May 16th. You can sign up here for newsletter updates. Those who receive the newsletter will get bonus videos and tips! Fading friendship: When to seek relationship counseling or assistance Couples and partners often wait until communication, emotional connection, and kindness have completely dissolved before finding their way to a therapist ..read more