Anonymous said... I'm so glad I stumbled upon your blog. My 26 yr old daughter just had another Bipolar Meltdown today. I've been dealing with this for 16 years ( she was diagnosed at 10yrs old) and I know your pain and the pain of others out here experiencing this. The loved ones ( mostly the "targets") are in pain too...pain from watching this happen to you, pain from getting the brunt of your anger, and pain for not knowing how to help you. I am sincerely glad that you recognize these things in yourself and seem to be dealing with them well and educating your loved ones, that's fantas ..read more

One of the largest barriers to my success has been my memory, or more lack there of it.  I am often at loss for words.  I forget names and sometimes even faces.  I repeat myself often because I always forget what I've said and to whom.  I lose things, because, of course, I forgot where I put them.  I forget to show up for appointments (although rarely because I take extreme measures not to do that).  These things are problems!  I believe my memory issues are a combination of the bipolar; damage to my brain from years of being misdiagnosed and mistreated; a hi ..read more

Bipolar disorder robs us of a normal life, no doubt.  Doing the things that most people more or less can do in their sleep often takes every ounce of energy for someone with bipolar.  Eventually we learn that we are faced with a choice- do we expend all of our energy trying to be normal, or do we redirect that energy and live a life that's normal for us?  I have spent most of my life being shamed by people who are "Normal".   Shamed and Shoulded.  Does being normal make you better than me?  You might think I am weak or stupid or simply crazy because I have b ..read more

When I think back to the best and worst of times, the people I chose to spend the majority of my time with made all the difference.  Who do we spend the most time with?  Usually Coworkers,  Housemates, and lovers. These people, along with family and friends, make up our support system.  You can't choose your family (although you can choose how much time you spend with family), but strive to put yourself in a position in which your coworkers, housemates, and lovers are good people.  If you are bipolar, surround yourself with good people. It will make all the difference ..read more

It is really hard to maintain your weight when bipolar, but NOT impossible.  I've got this.  Three years into my journey and 40 pounds lighter, it's time for me to talk about this.  In my teen years- the years when the highs and lows of  my bipolar were most extreme- I weighed 90 pounds which is at least 15 pounds under weight.   Three years ago,  I was double that, at 182 pounds.   I was 50 pounds overweight.   The pounds snuck up on me, yo-yoed  up and down, and once I got stable, they stuck with me. There were many things that con ..read more

Hello! I haven't been doing a very good job keeping up with my blog lately because I have been very busy!  My husband and I started a small business several years ago, and it has really taken off.  When we first started the business, I was also working a full time job and taking classes in computer programming.  I had a lot going on.   I can usually pull off three full years in a high stress job where I am expected to be on all the time. There came a point in time where I was feeling really overwhelmed, and I let go of the outside job and started fo ..read more

I read that something like 70 percent of people with Bipolar Disorder and 90 percent of people with Schizophrenia smoke, whereas smokers in the general population are closer to 20 percent. Smoking is ridiculously expensive and it's slowly killing you. Cigarettes kill more people than all other drugs combined. Everyone has their own reasons for smoking. I always said, "I enjoy it too much to quit." I didn't only enjoy it, I loved it. I had to go back to Behavior Therapy 101, "What's Rewarding the Behavior?" I realized that my primary motivation for smoking was to feel relaxed. I enjoyed sittin ..read more

As a person with bipolar disorder, I often sabotage excellent opportunities. Most bothersome to me is that I quit good jobs. I've made some terrible choices, and my behavior hasn't always been reputable. The mistakes I've made sometimes lead me to feel worthless. On my better days, I think about how much I have accomplished. I think about the skills I have that give me an edge. I have a bachelors degree, an active teaching certificate, and now a computer programmers certificate. My husband and I own a thriving small business, and he says he couldn't do it without me. Life is good. My friends ..read more

You can't look at me and tell that I have bipolar disorder. I look just like everyone else. I take the time to fix my hair, clothes, and makeup before I leave the house (If I can't I just don't leave the house). I smile at everyone I meet. I try to make sure that everyone I run into has just a little bit better day than they would have had without me, or at least that their day is not worse because of me. For the most part, I pull that off. That's probably the reason it took so long before I got treatment for bipolar disorder. I started complaining to doctors that I felt depressed in my teen ..read more

I was thinking today about how absolutely uneducated people are about bipolar disorder. The general thinking seems to be that all bipolar people are off their rocker, evil, batshit crazy, AND they are like that all the time. Honestly people, we all have our off days, but those of us with bipolar disorder are not that much different than everybody else. You don't have to be afraid. It's no wonder that when newly diagnosed with bipolar, a person will either deny it is true or accept it as a death sentence. It is no wonder that people go on for years without treatment, or even worse are fed anti ..read more