ALISON SCHENK | Entertainment | CONTACT A Coastal Thursday morning coffee group was rocked today when one of its members arrived at their local Coffee Club meet-up in attire wildly different to the group’s regular aesthetic.  The weekly morning catch-up has been a staple in the 8-12 women large group (attendance depending on various trips to Burleigh Heads and/or […] The post Coastal Boomer Causes Stir in Friend Group After Not Adopting Cult Leader Aesthetic appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact In some sad news, a Betoota Ponds woman has finally come to accept that she’ll never be able to live out her Pinterest dreams, as long as she continues to live in a city within two hours of her family and friends. Brea Coppola, 31, admits she’d continued to hold out hope that […] The post Woman With Unstable Rental Situation Forced To Let Go Of Her Dream Interior Design Vision appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Peeking out the window to spy on the landscape below, Betoota Heights local Alan Thompson toys with the notion that maybe, just maybe, his journey to Melbourne has taken an unexpected turn. With the lush, rolling green hills and low hanging mist, one could easily mistake the birdsview of Melbourne for the rugged […] The post Australia’s 2nd Largest City Easily Mistaken For The Scottish Highlands When Landing In Their Main Airport appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A local woman has decided she’s sick to death of her friends finding ‘the one’, after being invited to her seventh wedding this year. Having reached that pivotal age where her friends were either getting married, becoming partying alcoholics, or in the rare case, both, Billie Rhoades, 29, is starting to wish more […] The post Local Girl Jealous That Boyfriend Can Just Wear The Same Suit To Seventh Wedding They’ve Been To This Year appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A portly local man who gets his barber to trim his dense facial hair into a cropped beard has become the butt of many jokes this week. The fact that his mates are also tier-1 smart arses does not help things for 30-year-old Jacob Webcke, a Betoota-based office worker. As someone whose own […] The post Stocky Mate With Short Beard DOES NOT Appreciate Jokes About Him Resembling A Certain Liberal Staffer appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Local Tigers fan, Darren McNeil (30) has found solace in his team’s recent downturn in performance, believing it to be a necessary correction to restore balance to the universe after a moment of success at the start of the season. As a lifelong supporter of the perpetually struggling rugby league team, Darren has […] The post Smiling Tigers Fan Comforted That Balance Is Slowly Being Restored To The Universe appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A portly local man who gets his barber to trim his dense facial hair into a cropped beard has become the butt of many jokes this week. The fact that his mates are also tier-1 smart arses does not help things for 30-year-old Jacob Webcke, a Betoota-based office worker. As someone whose own […] The post Stocky Mate With Short Beard DOES NOT Appreciate Jokes About Him Resembling A Certain Liberal Staffer appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A bloke who’s just made the switch to working in public relations has found himself quickly learning a lot about women, including their penchant for drinking out of stupidly sized water bottles, it’s reported. Having worked mostly with blokes over his five year strong marketing career, Graham Stuart was surprised to discover the […] The post Office With Mostly Female Staff Estimated To Have A 45 Minute Wait Time For The Kitchen Tap In The Morning appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Local Betoota youth Colin Myers (24) has been fervently praying for just a “good week or two” to enjoy the highly anticipated release of GTA6 before Prime Minister Dutton summons him to the front lines of what seems like an inevitable global conflict. “With all this talk of World War 3 and conscription, […] The post Local Youth Just Hoping He Gets A Couple Of Weeks To Play GTA6 Before Prime Minister Dutton Conscripts Him To Fight In Iran appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT An empty bottle of dishwashing liquid has been given a second life tonight as a local sharehouse battles to keep their expenses under wraps. The Advocate understands the bottle in question, a 900ml vessel of lemon scented dishwashing goodness, was purchased in August last year and has been used over the […] The post Cost-Of-Living Sees Sharehouse Dishwashing Liquid Watered Down For Third Time This Month appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more